"Screw Big, Dumb American!"

Over & Out

2009-01-04T15:44:00.003-05:00

While I've had a ton of fun writing this here blog-type thing (well, when I actually was writing it anyways), it's time to say adios muchachos to SBDA!.

I just can't find the creative energies to come up with the smorgasbord of hilarity and retardation that has become the standard that you're used to seeing here. I guess that I finally have an effective outlet for whatever energy, and more importantly frustration, that fueled the overly-combustible engine of SBDA!. So while I still spend my fair share of time on the Interwebs reading everyone else's blogs, I just don't have the drive to contribute my $0.0167 anymore.

So thanks for sticking with me (if anyone did for the ridiculously long hiatus), and feel free to check me out on the Book of Faces. I do still do that one compulsively.

D

+8

2008-01-11T16:38:00.000-05:00

20-12.

I finished the Bowl Season and the 3rd annual ABPSSPP being 8 over .500. Not bad. Not real good, but not bad.

Yep, I called it.

As usual, I got a lot of the big ones right, but screwed up even more of the little ones (damn New Mexico!).

So cheers to all those big guys who played their asses off all season, and to the lovely ladies who shook theirs to help cheer them on.

Can't wait to be wrong some more next year.

D

In case you needed to know...

2008-01-11T16:37:00.000-05:00

If you wash your iPod earphones, and dry them on low heat, they will still work.

Just an FYI.

D

He was giving me the business

2008-01-02T21:21:00.000-05:00

Had my drug screen and yet another physical today.

This time, the doctor actually told me (and I quote) "You're healthy as a horse." So people other than me actually do still say that. Cool.

And I managed to avoid getting the business in the back of the store too. The doc said I don't really need to worry about that for another couple of years, and that he really just didn't feel like doing it. Sweet, because me neither.

Everything else seemed to go for the good, so I guess I'm starting next week. Just have to go get measured for my uniform and turnout gear at some point. Yay, free stuff!

D

Maybe I should have posted this yesterday

2008-01-01T14:34:00.000-05:00

Just in case anyone was thinking about trying to adhere to any New Year's superstitions, here's a few more that I found via Snopes:

New Year's Superstitions
Besides getting sloppy drunk and kissing everybody in the room at the stroke of midnight, celebrants throughout the ages have observed numerous lesser-known New Year's customs and superstitions. Many of the superstitions associated with the event bear the common theme that activities engaged in on that day set the pattern for the year to come. Others have to do with warding off evil spirits or attracting luck.

Because January 1 is the first day of the new year, we have drawn a connection between what we do on that day and our fate throughout the rest of the year. Here are some of the ways we attempt to guarantee a good outcome through our acts on that portentous first day:

Kissing at midnight:
We kiss those dearest to us at midnight not only to share a moment of celebration with our favorite people, but also to ensure those affections and ties will continue throughout the next twelve months. To fail to smooch our significant others at the stroke of twelve would be to set the stage for a year of coldness.

Stocking Up:
The new year must not be seen in with bare cupboards, lest that be the way of things for the year. Larders must be topped up and plenty of money must be placed in every wallet in the home to guarantee prosperity.

Paying Off Bills:
The new year should not be begun with the household in debt, so checks should be written and mailed off prior to January 1st. Likewise, personal debts should be settled before the New Year arrives.

First Footing:
The first person to enter your home after the stroke of midnight will influence the year you're about to have. Ideally, he should be dark-haired, tall, and good-looking, and it would be even better if he came bearing certain small gifts such as a lump of coal, a silver coin, a bit of bread, a sprig of evergreen, and some salt. Blonde and redhead first footers bring bad luck, and female first footers should be shooed away before they bring disaster down on the household. Aim a gun at them if you have to, but don't let them near your door before a man crosses the threshold.

The first footer (sometimes called the "Lucky Bird") should knock and be let in rather than unceremoniously use a key, even if he is one of the householders. After greeting those in the house and dropping off whatever small tokens of luck he has brought with him, he should make his way through the house and leave by a different door than the one through which he entered.

No one should leave the premises before the first footer arrives — the first traffic across the threshold must be headed in rather than striking out.

First footers must not be cross-eyed or have flat feet or eyebrows that meet in the middle.

Nothing prevents the cagey householder from stationing a dark-haired man outside the home just before midnight to ensure the speedy arrival of a suitable first footer as soon as the chimes sound. If one of the partygoers is recruited for this purpose, impress upon him the need to slip out quietly just prior to the witching hour.

Nothing Goes Out:
Nothing — absolutely nothing, not even garbage — is to leave the
house on the first day of the year. If you've presents to deliver on New Year's Day, leave them in the car overnight. Don't so much as shake out a rug or take the empties to the recycle bin.

Some people soften this rule by saying it's okay to remove things from the home on New Year's Day provided something else has been brought in first. This is similar to the caution regarding first footers; the year must begin with something's being added to the home before anything subtracts from it.

One who lives alone might place a lucky item or two in a basket that has a string tied to it, then place the basket just outside the front door before midnight. After midnight, the lone celebrant hauls in his catch, being careful to bring the item across the door jamb by pulling the string rather than by reaching out to retrieve it and thus breaking the plane of the threshold.

Food:
A tradition common to the southern states of the USA dictates that the eating of black-eyed peas on New Year's Day will attract both general good luck (financial in particular) to the one doing the dining. Some choose to add other Southern fare (such as ham hocks, collard greens, or cabbage) to this tradition, but the black-eyed peas are key.

Other "lucky" foods are lentil soup (because lentils supposedly look like coins), pork (because poultry scratches backwards, a cow stands still, but a pig roots forward, ergo those who dine upon pork will be moving forward in the new year), and sauerkraut (probably because it goes so well with pork).

Another oft-repeated belief holds that one must not eat chicken or turkey on the first day of the year lest, like the birds in question, diners fate themselves to scratch in the dirt all year for their dinner (that is, bring poverty upon themselves).

Work:
Make sure to do — and be successful at — something related to your work on the first day of the year, even if you don't go near your place of employment that day. Limit your activity to a token amount, though, because to engage in a serious work project on that day is very unlucky.

Also, do not do the laundry on New Year's Day, lest a member of the family be 'washed away' (die) in the upcoming months. The more cautious eschew even washing dishes.

New Clothes:
Wear something new on January 1 to increase the likelihood of your receiving more new garments during the year to follow.

Money:
Do not pay back loans or lend money or other precious items on New Year's Day. To do so is to guarantee you'll be paying out all year.

Breakage:
Avoid breaking things on that first day lest wreckage be part of your year. Also, avoid crying on the first day of the year lest that activity set the tone for the next twelve months.

Other superstitions attaching to the beginning of the new year are:

Letting the Old Year Out:
At midnight, all the doors of a house must be opened to let the old year escape unimpeded. He must leave before the New Year can come in, says popular wisdom, so doors are flung open to assist him in finding his way out.

Loud Noise:
Make as much noise as possible at midnight. You're not just celebrating; you're scaring away evil spirits, so do a darned good job of it!

According to widespread superstition, evil spirits and the Devil himself hate loud noise. We celebrate by making as much of a din as possible not just as an expression of joy at having a new year at our disposal, but also to make sure Old Scratch and his minions don't stick around. (Church bells are rung on a couple's wedding day for the same reason.)

The Weather:
Examine the weather in the early hours of New Year's Day. If the wind blows from the south, there will be fine weather and prosperous times in the year ahead. If it comes from the north, it will be a year of bad weather. The wind blowing from the east brings famine and calamities. Strangest of all, if the wind blows from the west, the year will witness plentiful supplies of milk and fish but will also see the death of a very important person. If there's no wind at all, a joyful and prosperous year may be expected by all.

Born on January 1:
Babies born on this day will always have luck on their side.

--------------

Really kinda wish that I had posted this yesterday, as I'm doing laundry as we speak. So watch your asses this year.

D

Happy of the year that's new

2008-01-01T06:05:00.000-05:00

It's after 6am here in SBDA-land, and I'm still up and drinking. Yeah, so this year is starting off pretty well. I guess, anyways.

So, um, Happy New Year!!!

D

Enjoy it while it lasts...

2007-12-31T16:54:00.001-05:00

Sporting what could be my last beard for a long, long time.

Since I'll probably be having to shave every damned day for a couple of months until I get on a shift, I figured I should put off shaving for as long as possible. Which will probably be until January 8th or 9th.

So, itchy it may be, but I have to do it while I still can.

You know, use it or lose it. Or maybe, use it then lose it.

D

Happy Holidays!

2007-12-25T21:26:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss your ass, Happy Hanukkah...

All that jazz and more from your friends here at Screw Big, Dumb American.

D

Christmas Comes Early

2007-12-23T18:28:00.000-05:00

Friday brought an early Christmas present to the SBDA household:

A new frickin' job!

Had the interview in the morning; and later on that evening, had a job offer. So I told them I needed a little time to sort it all out (which I actually did), and that I'd call back to let them know. A few phone calls later, and after getting my head a little straighter, I knew I had to turn in my 2 weeks notice which I did over the phone and with an email.

I just needed a picture as awesome as the present that I got. This'll do it.

So I think I'll be starting with the Department around January 7th. At least that's the plan. And I also have to go through a few hoops what with the physical, drug screen and a few other tests. And let's not forget the fun that will be my last few days at the old job. Yay.

So anyways, Merry Christmas to me. Oh, and you guys as well. Thanks for all the well wishes again.

I'll let you all know more as I do, or at least when more things become a little clearer.

D

It's the most wonderful time of the year

2007-12-20T10:17:00.000-05:00

It's bowl season!! And that can only mean one thing here on SBDA: that's right, it's time for the Annual Bowl Picks Super Spectacular Prognostication Post!!!! (insert cheers and confetti)

This is what, the 3rd year of embarrasing myself with my picks in front of the whole Interweb? And I'm still doing it? Wow, I really am a glutton for punishment.

Seeing as how I don't have the time or creative juices to do another ABPSSPP like I really want to do a la the first one (and I promise it's not because of the MyFace), this one's gonna be more like last year's: short, sweet and mostly wrong.

And away we go...

(Winners are highlighted/bolded/blued/whatever)

Poinsettia

San Diego

Utah vs. Navy
Dec. 20, 9 p.m.
ESPN

My heart wants to pick Navy, but the reason it wants to has already left to coach Georgia Tech.

New Orleans

New Orleans
Florida Atlantic vs. Memphis
Dec. 21, 8 p.m.
ESPN2

Papajohns.com

Birmingham, Ala.
Cincinnati vs. Southern Miss
Dec. 22, 1 p.m.
ESPN2

New Mexico

Albuquerque, N.M.
Nevada vs. New Mexico
Dec. 22, 4:30 p.m.
ESPN

Las Vegas

Las Vegas
UCLA vs. BYU
Dec. 22, 8 p.m.
ESPN

Rarely do I pick the Stormin' Mormons, but this is one of those times.

Hawaii

Honolulu
Boise State vs. East Carolina
Dec. 23, 8 p.m.
ESPN

Motor City

Detroit
Central Michigan vs. Purdue
Dec. 26, 7:30 p.m.
ESPN

Holiday

San Diego
Arizona State vs. Texas
Dec. 27, 8 p.m.
ESPN

Texas

Houston
Texas Christian vs. Houston
Dec. 28, 8 p.m.
NFL Network

Ummmm... who cares? It's either the Horny Toads or "Hooston". This time the more obscure Best of the Best 2 reference wins out.

Champ Sports

Orlando, Fla.
Boston College vs. Michigan State
Dec. 28, 5 p.m.
ESPN

Emerald

San Francisco
Maryland vs. Oregon State
Dec. 28, 8 p.m.
ESPN

Beavers...

Meineke Car Care

Charlotte, N.C.
Wake Forest vs. Connecticut
Dec. 29, 1 p.m.
ESPN

Liberty

Memphis, Tenn.
Central Florida vs. Mississippi State
Dec. 29, 4:30 p.m.
ESPN

Alamo

San Antonio
Penn State vs. Texas A&M
Dec. 29, 8 p.m.
ESPN

Independence

Shreveport, La.
Colorado vs. Alabama
Dec. 30, 8 p.m.
ESPN

Armed Forces

Fort Worth, Texas
California vs. Air Force
Dec. 31, 12:30 p.m.
ESPN

Humanitarian

Boise, Idaho
Fresno State vs. Georgia Tech
Dec. 31, 2 p.m.
ESPN2

Sun

El Paso, Texas
Oregon vs. South Florida
Dec. 31, 2 p.m.
CBS

Music City

Nashville, Tenn.
Kentucky vs. Florida State
Dec. 31, 4 p.m.
ESPN
Had this one picked even before the 20+ player suspension.

Chick-fil-A

Atlanta
Auburn vs. Clemson
Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m.
ESPN

Insight

Tempe, Ariz.
Indiana vs. Oklahoma State
Dec. 31, 8 p.m.
NFL Network

Outback

Tampa, Fla.
Wisconsin vs. Tennessee
Jan. 1, 11 a.m.
ESPN

Sorry, Adub.

Cotton

Dallas
Missouri vs. Arkansas
Jan. 1, 11:30 a.m.
FOX

The Petrino Curse begins...

Gator

Jacksonville, Fla.
Texas Tech vs. Virginia
Jan. 1, 1 p.m.
CBS

Capital One

Orlando, Fla.
Michigan vs. Florida
Jan. 1, 1 p.m.
ABC

Rose

Pasadena, Calif.
Southern California vs. Illinois
Jan. 1, 4:30 p.m.
ABC

Sugar

New Orleans
Hawaii vs. Georgia
Jan. 1, 8:30 p.m.
FOX

My head says Georgia, but my heart says "Shut the fuck up head. We're never taking Georgia, so get over it."

Fiesta

Glendale, Ariz.
Oklahoma vs. West Virginia
Jan. 2, 8 p.m.
FOX

Orange

Miami
Virginia Tech vs. Kansas
Jan. 3, 8 p.m.
FOX

International

Toronto
Rutgers vs. Ball State
Jan. 5, noon
ESPN2

Rut-gers!

GMAC

Mobile, Ala.
Bowling Green vs. Tulsa
Jan. 6, 8 p.m.
ESPN

The winner? The city of Mobile, who makes a few hundred thousand dollars off this game. The loser? Everyone who watches.

BCS Championship Game

New Orleans
Ohio State vs. LSU
Jan. 7, 8 p.m.
FOX

Geaux Bayou Bengals!

That's it. Now go and pick the opposites and you should do well.

Kinda like the Newlywed Game... but with politicians

2007-12-18T09:46:00.000-05:00

My Dad usually sends me some pretty random emails, with the majority having a heaping dose of religion to them. But the other day he actually sent something useful:

"The Candidate Match Game" from USA Today

It's pretty handy when trying to figure out just who, out of all those future political let-downs, most closely resembles your beliefs/views on the most debated subjects.

Mine came out pretty much how I thought it would, and more so from an individual candidtae stand point and not a political party one.

I'm not a Republican, but over the years McCain has seemed like someone who I could get behind and Ron Paul has been good for me since he joined the race with his old-Republican ideas that are almost Democratic. Giuliani? Well, that's just fun to say. Plus, I already know his platform: noun, verb and 9-11. Simple and still effective enough for most people.

If you haven't taken it yet, give it a whirl. You might be suprised. Or maybe you won't.

D

I feel so dirty

2007-12-02T19:49:00.001-05:00

Damn it. I finally went and did it. I broke. I caved. *sigh*

I created a MySpace page.

Now I feel like I'm addicted to crack or something because I can't stay off of it. This is worse than when I got Quicken.

What have I wrought?

D

Let's Get Physical

2007-11-30T23:07:00.000-05:00

Yay! A trip to the doctor is always fun. Buuuuuuut, it was about time I had another battery of tests of the physical nature.

Turns out that yours semi-truly is healthy as a sasquatch.

Good, low blood pressure, weight about right, breathing was "very good" and everything else was fine. Sweet.

Only little bit o' fun was the "Do you drink?" portion of it.

"Do you drink?"
"Yes."
"About how often?"
"Well, only on the weekends really."
"Ok. And about how much on the weekends?"
"Which day?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Well, you know, it kinda depends on the day as to how much I might drink."
"Hmmm...Well, any given day. About a six pack?"
"Ummm..."
"About a twelve pack?"
"Weeeell.... ummmmmm...."
"I see..."
"Yeah..."
"And you know that's not exactly the wisest choice?"
"Yes sir. But I assure you it's under control."
And then back and forth banter about family history of alcoholism versus it being football season. Good times.

So, other than that humorous exchange, I'm all set to keep up with the training for the hopeful new jorb.

And despite me having a pretty high thresh-hold for pain, the tetanus shot did hurt like a little son of a bitch.

D

Just Because...

2007-11-29T21:26:00.000-05:00

Sam's in the news again, but this time for something positive, I had to re-post the ever-popular "not so accurate" quote from Sam after He Who Shall Not Be Named left.

“I’m as fucking surprised as you guys are!”- Sam Baker, A.D.

Feasibility

2007-11-29T21:10:00.000-05:00

Wow. About damned time. (and not just for a post from me)

Georgia Southern Announces Plans for FBS Feasibility Study

Time to start restructuring the ol' checkbook so I can contribute more to Southern Boosters and let them know why I'm doing it. You know, because the administration is showing some initiative.

D

"I wasn't sure what 'Division One' meant to him. But I knew what 'One' meant to me - Georgia, Notre Dame, Southern California - all those kind of folks."
- Coach Erk Russell

Happy Turkey Day

2007-11-22T20:28:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving from Gobbles the Wonder Turkey and the rest of the Screw Big, Dumb American crew.... so um, you know, me.

Gobble gobble.

D

I'm not an asshole... am I?

2007-11-15T19:27:00.000-05:00

When I have to be "on" all day long at work, and I'm just mentally drained at the end of it all; is it any wonder that all I really want is to either go to the gym or go running to feel as physically tired as I am mentally? By myself?

So when I get calls or texts to hang out and drink beer after work, I have a hard time accepting the invitations because I need to decompress or whatever.

Does that make me an asshole in some peoples' eyes because I'm not dropping my routine to go hang out? Or does everyone pretty much know that I'm doing what I need to in order to stay sane long enough to eventually see them on the weekend?

I'm hoping that everyone knows me well enough by now to know that any other time I'd love to have a beer or 18 and shoot the shite, but not in the early evening during the week. That's my quality me time.

That doesn't mean I don't appreciate the invitations, because I really do. I'm probably just not gonna accept them right away, or at least until I hopefully have a new job that will allow me to do what I need to during the day and then hang out at night.

So I guess cross your fingers for me to get that new job soon, then everyone wins. Or something.

D

Tales of Dickery: Me Versus the Sink

2007-11-12T19:36:00.000-05:00

Ah, time for an all new, all different Tales of Dickery! I figure that I owe you guys what with the absence and all. But I think we're all square after this gem. And it's fresh too! Happened just last week.

Tales of Dickery: Me Versus the Sink

And now the score sits at an even Derek: 1 / Sinks of the World: 1.

Last week I was out at a work function, dressed all nice as I'm s'posed to be. A few cups of coffee and a bottle of water later, and Derek needs to visit the el bano.

Everything comes out well and it's time to wash the hands; 'cause hey, I'm all hygienic and shit. Up until now, I've never met a malicious sink before. But lay eyes upon the first:

When you push the button on the other side, a boxing glove comes out and punches you in the groin.

Normally, when you push a button or turn a knob on a sink, water flows in a downward direction allowing you to rinse your hands, lather them up with soap and then rinse them off. Normally. But not this one. This evil fixture of fuckitude shoots out it's spray like a spitting cobra, but right at your crotch instead of your eyes. Check out the carnage:

Technically, I guess I did have an accident.

Obviously I can't just stroll back out and keep plugging along, I have to rectify the situation. So now I'm forced to stand in the bathroom and further humiliate myself by blowing on my crotch and rubbing it vigorously with a paper towel like I'm cleaning up an even dirtier mess. Jeez, I can smell the bad fanfic from here.

And of course I can't possibly get away with no one seeing me in my vulnerable state. That just doesn't happen to me. So a guy strolled in and he caught me out of the corner of his eye, prompting one of those great double takes because he's not entirely sure that they saw exactly what he did. You know, 'cause he didn't expect to see someone sort of rubbing one out in the bathroom that isn't of the interstate rest stop variety.

"Don't use the sink 'cause it makes you wet! I mean, um, the sink, it sprays your crotch instead of your hands. Like this. (points to crotch) ... Um, yeah... just be careful. Yeah."

Smooth.

And despite my attempts at warning the other unsuspecting potential victims of that aquatic crotch assassin, it struck several more times. And of course it was funny. Because it's always funnier when it's not me. BUT, this is a SBDA Tale of Dickery, so it's even funnier because it is me. At least to you guys.

D

Not exactly nepotism, but close...

2007-11-08T21:25:00.000-05:00

Bionic Woman is starting to circle the drain, but I've at least started to make a game out of watching it.

The game runs along the lines of "spot the wrestler" in Beyond the Mat. Except now I play "spot the Battlestar Galactica actors."

So far, I can think of 4 that I've seen David Eick put on there. Starbuck, Chief Tyrol, Leobon Conoy, and Romo Lampkin. That's pretty impressive for only being 6 episodes into the season. I guess Eick has to find work for his Galactica people somehow since they like to take damned near forever in between seasons.

So I guess I'll be keeping a sort of running tally of guest appearances, if only in my head. Or maybe just a brief blurb when I find another "Waldo."

Until then, "So say we all."

D

Brutal Honesty

2007-11-07T19:30:00.000-05:00

Oooh ouch. That's gotta sting. A lot.

I'm a little bit behind on my Sports Illustrated reading. About 2 weeks worth really. But yesterday I was flipping through the NBA preview and ran across probably the most brutal ass scouting report of a team ever. And of course it was the Atlanta Hawks.

Now, I usually don't give two shits about the NBA (college ball is 1,000 times better), but I do follow the Hawks into their yearly decline into playoff irrelevancy and obscurity. So of course I wanted to see how "meh" my team is gonna be this year.

They had an anonymous opposing team's scout evaluate them, and I expected something about them still being a very green team with some good upside to come once they gel and mature or whatever. What I got was this:

"This team is so bad that you can tell who's taking the first shot simply by whoever gets the ball in his hands first.... Where do we begin with Josh Smith? He'll dunk it three straight times, and then the next time down he'll want to see if he can get the three-point shot working, so he'll throw one up out of the flow, clank. Or he'll make some stupid pass into the third row. Or he'll jump in the air and throw it at someone's knees.... Al Horford has a better chance of being a successful pro than Smith or either Marvin Williams or Shelden Williams. He knows what he is, and he sticks with that.... Marvin Williams thinks he's a jump shooter, but he doesn't make jump shots, and he thinks he's a ball handler, but he's not quick enough to get by people, so he'll run into them and get called for a charge.... They don't have leadership at point guard. Speedy Claxton is in decline- he may have to change his name. Acie Law is a ball-control guy, and he defends. We'll have to see if he's capable of making plays for the rest of them... Jeez, I mean, they just flat out suck."

Well, OK, I made that last one up. But I totally expected them to end with something like that. It certainly seemed like they were headed that way.

So, join me as I follow the Hawks throughout their hunt for .500 this season, and the constant hope that I might get to see some of the A-Town Dancers on TV every once in a while.

D

Mmmmm.... Leslie....*drool*

Briana? More like "Bri-hot-na". (sorry)

Bill Gates responsible for Judgement Day

2007-11-06T19:30:00.001-05:00

Had a brief training session on Microsoft Office 07 today. And I realized that some day soon I'll need to bring a weapon to work and ask for cover fire when I need to make copies.

"I gotta get through that to get to the bathroom? Fuck it. I'll pee my pants."

According to our trainer, Office's new document type, .docx, is built off XML. Also according to said trainer, XML will take over the world soon. At which point I raised my hand and asked if this would lead to Skynet, the rise of the machines and the downfall of man... to many (expected) bewildered looks. But it was totally worth it. I spent the next few minutes zoned out to what was going on, and imagining leading my rag-tag group of surviving coworkers down the hallway to the break room; dodging and ducking from endoskeletons and ground tanks.

Ah, good training session.

D

Insert Witty Banter Here

2007-11-05T18:51:00.001-05:00

Well hellooooo.

Sorry for the overly long, and possibly overly dramatic, absence from the blog-o-sphere. All is well, or at least as well as it can be considering my last post. But a return to normalcy is probably the soup du jour. And you know what that means!!! That's right: intermittent and random-ass posting where I bemuse, belittle, berate, befuddle and a whole bunch of other b-words everything and everyone that I can think of or that others can think of for me.

As a public (and you all know that's pronounced "pewb-lick") service to all my loyal and disloyal readers, here are a few of the things that I rightly should have covered during my unwarranted hiatus. Feel free to imagine the gafaw-worthy insight and musings that you have become accustomed to reading from me. Or make up your own as they're probably better.

1. My Halloween costume as Brian VanGorder, and my awesome-ass mustache to go along with it. "Why VanGorder?" "Well, what's scarier to a Georgia Southern fan?"
2. Man, it's good to be on drugs again... well, Xenadrine anyways. Ran my ass off today. Seriously, I think I passed it coming back on my 3rd mile. I'm sure it'll catch back up later.
3. The clusterfuck that is the Statesboro City Council elections. How great would it have been with a credibility/stereotype joke about the guy named Bubba running?
4. Drinking in a hotel with friends from out of town, drinking a fraternity brother under the table, taking him back up to his room to pass out, and then going back down to the other room to drink more beer with the last person left whose room it was.
5. Going back to the gym after a two month lay-off. One word: owwwwwwch!
6. UNC is the preseason #1 in the polls. Georgia Southern? Probably hanging around a litle lower than that. All that matters is the final rankings though.
7. Comic books are so damned good right now. Why must I be so poor? Oh, right. I know why.
8. Giving blood again. Cleaned up on the free cookies because there wasn't hardly anyone else giving. Sweet.
9. Contemplating giving up the SBDA blog (again). But I kinda dreaded getting a comment emailed to me from Adubya comparing me to The Princess. Again.
10. Still waiting to hear from Savannah or Statesboro. At this point if I rush into a fire, I'm still just an idiot, not a firefighter.
11. The Writers Guild strike. Not really gonna hurt me until around just after Christmas or so when already taped shows run out. Then it'll be a Vader-esque "Noooooooooo!"
12. Twelve? Shit, this way way more than I thought I would have written about. Anyhoo, TV is still pretty damned good and I'm wearing the Hell outta Mr. Deaver. And for some God-only-knows why reason, I'm still watching "Moonlight".
13. $5.50 pitchers of Guinness & Stella during happy hour at K-Bob Kelly's.
14. Making a drunken, German spectacle of myself at the IHT's official wedding rehearsal dinner party as a direct result of several of number 13s. Ummm, my bad?
15. And I'm gonna cut it off here as this really has been way longer than the little "Hey, I'm pretty much back and I know you missed my faux garishness and comedic timing" post. I'll end it with "How about them Eagles!?" From 3-8 last year in the season that never happened, to 7-2 so far under the Hatch Attack. Hail Southern!, Go Eagles!, One more time!, Find a way! and all that.

Ahhhh.... that's better.

D

Statesboro Status

2007-10-09T18:38:00.000-04:00

FYI:

For those of you wondering why there's a lack of posting from all of Statesboro, it's because we've had a death in the family.

I'm sure each of us will resume whenever we feel it's right to do so.

So that's why. Keep 2 special people in your prayers.

Thanks.

D

Balance

2007-09-28T22:47:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I just bitched about Moonlight. But I feel compelled to counter that with some high praise for another show.

Dr. Who. It's... it's... it's awesome.

That show just seems to get better and better every single episode. Once again, I was literally on the edge of the couch for the last few minutes and the preview of next week's season finale.

Jesus Christ on a palomino, that's good TV. I just wish that the DVD sets weren't so freakin' expensive.

D

Angel Lite

2007-09-28T22:34:00.000-04:00

Just watched Moonlight.

Seriously? I mean, really? C'mon! Try a little here.

It's just Angel, but watered down and mainstreamed for America.

You know, it's not really worth getting all fired up about even though I know that's what you guys want me to do. I have better things to do- namely going to the kitchen, making a bourbon and coke, and then watching a real show about a vampire detective in Los Angeles that I happen to have on DVD.

Really? Sheesh.

D

They even had Rudolf Martin (the guy that played Dracula on Buffy) on the show as a vampire wannabe. *sigh*

With new life often comes death

2007-09-28T22:11:00.000-04:00

So, not long after the Future Overlord and I welcomed the newest member of the household with open arms, we lost a dear member of the family.

First, my DVR is now up and running with 2 shows already recorded- both of which I watched on airing but was just testing out the DVR. And thanks to the worldly and sage advice of Adubya, I had the DirecTV technician install a 2nd line so that I can watch 1 thing and record another or record 2 things simultaneously if I'm out. It's awesome.

But there is not all joy in Big Dumb American-ville. My vacuum cleaner died. Cancer, I believe. Well, I say that because it went out smoking.

Right in the middle of cleanup after the technician left, there was a new bad sound coming from the vacuum and then a funky smell. At first, I thought the dog farted, or maybe I did. But it was the vacuum cleaner crapping itself before passing on I suppose. And then a worse smell and finally the smoke.

"That's not good."

So I put it out to pasture out front for a bit, and I'll have to take it to the dump or try and Gcycle it or something.

Not being able to not finish a vacuuming job, I had to go and fire up Old Cranky. OC is my other vacuum cleaner, whose a bit like a semi-retired special forces operative- he only gets called out to clean up the big, nasty messes. I call him Old Cranky because he's, well, old and louder than Hell. I mean, I think they heard him several doors down. But he got the job done.

So, soon we'll probably be welcoming in another new family member in the form of a young, impressionable vacuum cleaner. I'm sure it'll make me proud.

Oh well, time to continue the mourning and healing processes by messing around with my DVR, whom I've named Deaver (name that movie).

D

TV > Posting

2007-09-27T13:18:00.000-04:00

Sorry, but it's true. Been too busy catching all the new and returning shows to be literary-minded.

Honestly, I have been meaning to post my reviews of everything, but just haven't gotten around to it.

Sorry.

D

My new precious

2007-09-20T22:30:00.000-04:00

Guess what new-fangled technology the Big, Dumb American will be getting shortly?

My holy grail: a DVR.

Yep, finally got around to calling DirecTV and upgrading my account to include a DVR.

Only problem is, I have to wait until the 28th for them to come and install it. And then I don't even get the weekend to play around with it, as I have to go out of town for the weekend. So a crash course in DVRing from the technician will be in order to get me through until I can get back that Sunday afternoon and geek out with it.

Great googily moogily, I can't wait.

D

Stupid budgetary constraints

2007-09-18T22:39:00.000-04:00

Finally got in touch with Savannah's HR yesterday, only to find out that things are in a holding pattern right now.

Due to city budget issues, they aren't starting a new class in January like they were planning on. She said maybe in April though. April? Christ that's a long time to wait.

And they're not really notifying people about drug tests or anything right now either, as they have to wait until they have a class date set before they can . So we're just supposed to keep on doing what we've been doing: waiting. At least I don't have to go through the whole process again.

But today I turned in another application for Statesboro as I recently learned of an opening. The app deadline had already passed, but I emailed the new HR guy, letting him now I wanted to apply and asking him to please consider me for this opening (aren't I polite?). He said he would, but to hurry; so I filled it out last night and dropped it off this morning after talking to him for a bit.

Honestly, I'd rather get on in Savannah, but I'd feel stupid to not put in here just to be safe. But what do I do if I get offered the job in Statesboro? Do I take it when I'd rather be in Savannah? Or do I pass and take my chances waiting to hope I get an offer from Savannah several months from now? I kinda want to just take the first offer that comes and make the most of it, even if it's not exactly what I really want (or what I think I want). But if I'm going after a dream, why should I settle for something less? Or maybe I'm supposed to get on in Statesboro...

Damn it. Decisions decisions.

D

The roof, the roof, the roof is on... the ground?

2007-09-17T22:23:00.000-04:00

They're finally getting around to reshingling my roof. 'Bout damned time, as I think I'm one of the last units to have it done.

However, this is a day that I doubt the Future Overlord has been looking forward to. Instead of his usual lazy day of sleeping, moving spots, sleeping, barking at a few people in the window, and more sleeping; now he's pretty much probably just going ape shit for the majority of the day until he gets bored with barking. Which probably takes damned near forever as he likes to bark when he gets going. But I'm not home for most of it; and as long as he doesn't tear anything up, I could care less. Bark away, buddy. Bark away.

Now if they'll just come and re-do the siding to match everybody else, it'll look like they could charge more to live here. Not that I'll pay it, but it'll look like it.

D

Gone Paneling

2007-09-05T18:30:00.000-04:00

My one real gripe about Dragon*Con was the fact that there wasn’t enough comic book representation there. Other than the dealer’s room or maybe the Walk of Shame, what I really wanted to see were comic panels. I mean, I didn’t expect anything like you’d find at San Diego or Chicago; but I was hoping for something. Granted, they had a few comic book panels, but nothing that got me riled up or even all that interested. And a lot of the other panels they had to make up for it were a little on the lame side (“How to Train Dragons”? Really?).

But we ended up checking out 2 panels that were pretty damned good. And to be honest, they would have been much better without all the nerds. Well, without all the stupid nerd questions anyways.

"Go team Venture!"

Panel #1: Venture Bothers

Co-hosted by Doc Hammer, one of the co-creators/writers/voice actors.

Doc Hammer did a live commentary for an episode and then a Q&A afterwards. And of course some dumbass asked a question that had nothing to do with what they were supposed to be asking about. Although Doc Hammer blasting him more than made up for any lame questions (“Of all the episodes that I’ve written or helped write, you fucking ask about the one that I didn’t!”). I wanted to run right out the door and pick up seasons 1 & 2 as soon as it was over. I haven’t yet, but up in my nerduary, I do have the nifty Dr. Girlfriend poster that I snagged at the panel.

James Marsters, Juliet Landau and douchebag.

Panel #2: An Hour in the Buffyverse
James Marsters, Juliet Landau, Elizabeth Rohm and… Ken Feinberg?

Ken Feinberg? Really? This is the motherfucker who told Tiffany last year that he played Clem in several episodes while he consistently hit on her. And in actuality, he played the chaos demon for one scene in one episode (“Fool for Love’) and is married. Douchebag. He single-handedly damn near ruined what could have been an awesome panel. Chris said he was just waiting for James Marsters to go all Brodie Bruce on him with a “Where do you come up with this shit?!” James, Juliet and Elizabeth still managed to make it a really good panel despite the douchebag wearing a UGA shirt on the panel with them.

And that was it for the panels really. A lackluster report for a lackluster showing, I guess. I kinda wanted to go see the Mythbusters one, but said “fuck that noise” when I heard that the line was already crazy long, the panel had been moved to a bigger room and Jamie and Adam weren’t even there. Nothing else ever really sparked much interest for us.

Maybe next time they’ll have some better panels, and I’ll have better reviews. Maybe.

D

Liquid Courage meets Major Victory

2007-09-04T16:12:00.000-04:00

Chris will be doing a comprehensive review of Dragon*Con, so be sure to check over at The Nerduary for that. Here, I'll just be doing a few highlights from my big weekend.
-----

I'm a talker. I have a degree in broadcasting. My job requires me to speak to damn near anybody and everybody, in large groups or on an individual basis. Very rarely am I struck speechless.

But damn if it didn't happen to me at Dragon*Con.

There we were in the "Walk of Shame" where all of the "celebrities" were selling off their autographs and allowing nerds to take pictures with them... for $20.

We made our way up and down each aisle looking at how haggard most of the former "stars" were now and continually vocalized our disdain for them to be charging to have their pictures taken with fans. Then Chris turned to me and said "Hey, let's go talk to Major Victory!"

So away we go, making our way past a hung-over David Faustino, a lonesome Corin Nemec, and just out of my striking range for Feedback. But Major Victory isn't there. He must have had to visit the little superheroes room or something. So I just hang out while Chris and Tiffany go and talk to Fat Momma . About the only other person I wanted to meet was Ted Dibiase, and he wasn't there yet. (Jamie Bamber was nice.)

Then, he arrives.

(He's a little shorter than you think...)

I thought that I'd just do the usual "Hey, it's nice to meet you. We're big fans. You were my favorite on the how. etc..."

What came out was more like: "..............hi..............*gurgling noises*.......heh........."

Chris had to do all the talking for me because for some damned reason I couldn't get anything intelligible out. A true fanboy moment for me if ever there was one.

And he was the nicest guy you could meet too. He shook all our hands (using both of his instead of some half-assed handshake), chatted us up for a while, and wasn't pushy or rude about autographs or anything. In fact he kept talking to us after we let him know that we couldn't purchase one. I bet that didn't happen at hardly any other tables that weekend.

So there it was: the first epic meeting between Liquid Courage and his favorite superhero Major Victory. I'm actually very surprised (and extremely glad it didn't happen) that I didn't actually bust out with an LC-style "Hey!" since I'd been doing that voice since I'd gotten to Atlanta.

I'll cherish that moment forever, but I should have paid for a picture...

D

He even did the "Be a winner, not a wiener" thing for us. I just smiled like a retard.

Hittin' the ricky road

2007-08-29T21:20:00.000-04:00

Friday. I can't wait for Friday. I actually can't wait to drive 3 1/2 hours and through downtown Atlanta on a Friday. And this isn't even going to lead to me getting laid. A little spooning maybe, but no hanky panky.

I'm headed up to the capital for 2 things (listed in their order of importance):
1. To see Chris and crew
2. To go to Dragon*Con

It'll be my first foray into a wretched hive of scum and villainy that is a convention- filled to capacity with the socially retarded, B and C list stars paid to be there, hot and not so hot cosplay girls and people who generally give us geeks/nerds a bad name. And it'll all be under the careful tutelage of The Icon. I can think of no better tourguide through the sublime and the surreal. Well, I can, but I'm not really going to say that.

But enough with all the man love. This will hopefully parlay into at least one good post about the weekend, and will also lead to the culmination of another A.S.S. project. One where I can really show off all my good looks.

So if you haven't figured it out just yet, I'm stoked. It'll be my birthday, college football will be starting, there's a chance to get a James Marsters autograph, a picture with Major Victory, be pissed about Adam Baldwin canceling, and possibly the opportunity to do a hit and run on Feedback's face. What's not to be stoked about?

D

If only I could bring the super mutt with me...

Shameless or Shameful? You decide.

2007-08-27T10:57:00.000-04:00

It's been over a week without a post, and now I come back with this? Is that shameless or shameful? Probably both. But it's content, so deal with it.

The 4th biggest birthday in anyone's life is rolling closer and closer for me even as we speak. So if anyone is wondering what The Big, Dumb American was adding to his Amazon Wish List, wonder no more.

The Official Big, Dumb American Amazonian Wish List

*Note that it's been divided into sections (on the left) for your browsing pleasure.*

I update it every now and then whenever I'm bored or think of something cool to add (kinda like here). Now scoot, you scamps. Windowshop away.

D

And away we go...

2007-08-17T07:24:00.000-04:00

Off to my interview. Cross things for me.

D

UPDATE:
How'd it go?

That's how, thank you very much.

D

"Creepy"

2007-08-13T09:44:00.000-04:00

That's how I was told I looked with just a mustache on Sunday.

That's pretty much how I felt too. Like I was 45 and should be making an appearance on "To Catch a Predator."

So it came off pretty quickly. Well, if you can call laughing in the mirror repeatedly and asking someone "What? You don't like it?" for 15 minutes "quick".

So no, I won't be having just a mustache again. Probably ever.

*shudder* Just got the willies thinking about that again.

D

Seasons change

2007-08-10T10:43:00.000-04:00

Since much of my life is sectioned into “seasons” (i.e. football, basketball, Fall TV, bikini, etc), I’ve decided to add another season to the mix: moving season.

This season typically occurs during the weeks at the end of July and the beginning of August; and when weather calls for Sahara-level heat, humidity that requires a snorkel and fins, daily torrential downpours, and biblical-proportion swarms of gnats that add small amounts of protein to your daily caloric intake.

Instead of flowers blossoming or the urge to skip work and frolic at the park; usually there’s the appearance of empty or trash-filled boxes, discarded furniture, and the urge to actually go to work and avoid calls trying to enlist your help with moving.

Also arising from the constant barrage of boxes, washers and dryers, and couches that have to be moved; comes a new-found apprecitation of the Spartan lifestyle. Suddenly everything looks expendable and should be removed from your place for fear of having to move it the next time you change locations. Even the dog's stuff.

You're moving? We've got housewarming presents!

But it's moving season when you really find out who your friends are. Also, it's when you find out just how much free beer and food that they can consume after they help you move all your shit. Maybe there should be baseball-style cards for moving season that you can trade and collect with each other:

Name: Derek
Nickname: "D" or "Big, Dumb American"
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 185
Years in Moving League: "too goddamned many"
Successful Carry Average: .900
Injuries/Limitations: none
Complaint Level: 5/10 (lower if already drunk or in process)
Draws Line At: washers & driers above the first floor
Worst Error: dropping box of glasses coming down stairs in '99
Phone Number: 555-5555

Or insert more valuable data like "Easiest Pay-off", "Notable Hideouts", etc.

And of course all cards would come with pictures of the mover: carrying a box, sitting all sweaty on the couch giving the finger, the two-person dresser move, etc. But be on the look out for the ultra rare, holographic cards with someone lying prone on the ground after throwing their back out or the trip to the hospital after losing a finger. Those go for several beers on the open market.

Thankfully, moving season will be over soon and another season of "Staying Put" will cool the land. I can't wait for Staying Put season. It's the precursor to Football season.

D

"Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he didn't start to load shit into a truck."- Mitch Hedberg

“What’s the hardest about being you?” “Mustache.”

2007-08-08T12:08:00.000-04:00

Right now I’m rocking a big ol’, red beard (much to the amusement, chagrin and annoyance of many a coworker). And I tell you what, it takes some real dedication to wear this facial sweater in 100+ degree weather.

Too bad it has to die.

The beard is all part of an uber-elaborate attempt to see what I look like with just a mustache. Right now I can grow just about any manner of facial follicle decoration that I desire, but sometime in the not too distant future (hopefully) I’ll only be allowed to have a ‘stache. As a part of a militaristic operation, firefighters are not allowed to have any facial hair below the corners of their mouth.

So that means no goatees, soul patches, or beards- all of which I have a tendency to grow when I get the occasional wild hair. I’ll have to go with the clean-shaven look and hope that I can get away with my usual 5 o’clock shadow when on duty too. I’m pretty sure that barring some probie hazing/initiation or maybe some Cheers-esque contest, I’m pretty sure I won’t be trying to pull off a lip caterpillar.

So tonight, I trim it down to a goatee for a few days. This Sunday… the ‘stache will live. And then probably die shortly thereafter.

Maybe the experience will be chronicled through the magic of picture-taking. Maybe.

D

More Bollocks

2007-08-07T16:46:00.000-04:00

BBC America has gone and done it again. They’ve imported yet another good show for me to by into. And surprise surprise, it’s a sci-fi show: Jekyll.

First there was Hex, Dr. Who, Robin Hood, and Hyperdrive; now they’re following up with what the creators are calling a sequel to (not a reinvention of) the literary classic The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The two-hour premiere aired Saturday night, but due to prior commitments, it had to be taped and watched last night.

I went into it with a certain amount of trepidation and small sense of fear because I reminded myself that it’s really easy to fuck this simple premise up, but I had to give it a shot. I mean, who doesn’t love the basic and effective device of duality or good vs evil all within the same person? I submit for your consideration these items: The Incredible Hulk, werewolves, David Hasselhoff, and the McRib. I rest my case.

2 hours later and I was cursing BBC America for making me add another show to the rotation. Well, really it’s the same number, as Jekyll is just replacing Hex now that it’s all over. But still, I have to commit this one to memory so that I remember to autotune it every week so that the ol’ VCR can tape it (I have started looking into DVR again, by the way).

Ok, so it was fairly easy for them to get me, but to their credit they may have also gotten someone not as into that genre as I am. We’ll just have to see how long that sticks.

And if you’re wondering how they presented Hyde, let me just tell you that it’s way cooler than any version I’ve seen before. Gone is the hulking brute who can bound effortlessly or rip buildings apart. Now there’s a Hyde who’s not all that different from his counterpart in appearance, but has many more abilities and gifts than a normal man. And he’s a pure, grade-A badass. Let’s just say that when you kill the King of the Jungle, chuck him at some bad guys, and then start singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”; you’re not fucking around. Well, maybe a little with the singing, but that’s just some campy flair right there.

So if you’re intrigued; cue up the TiVo search, hit the torrent sites, or just keep an eye out for a re-run on BBCA. It ought to be worth it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to ponder my next rant on BBC America as they’re also about to start airing the Dr. Who spinoff, Torchwood, in a few weeks.

A-wimoweh, A-wimoweh, A-wimoweh...

D

The heat is on

2007-08-06T09:42:00.000-04:00

Fucking-A it has been hot lately.

There's been a heat advisory for the past day or so, extending into today and tomorrow. I think they're saying that the heat index is somewhere around 115. That's felt about right.

I was thinking that there's something wrong with the AC in my car (which there probably is) because it just wasn't cooling me down like it should, but it could be that it's just so regoddamneddiculously hot that it has to be on full blast for a while to start working. And what with Statesboro not being the biggest city, it's only by the time you get where you're going that it finally starts to cool down.

Driving around yesterday, the thermometer said 101- steadily moving its way up to "heat stroke"; and I was beginning to hallucinate on my way to see "The Simpsons Movie" (which rocked by the way). That could have also been because I was getting hungry too, but still, it was "God is trying to burn us all" hot outside.

I almost said screw it and went and bought a couple of more tickets to see "The Bourne Ultimatum" just so I could stay inside in the AC. Which reminds me, we bought tickets for the 3:15pm Simpsons, but the theater's AC wasn't working, so we asked if we could just switch to another showing. For the life of me, I can't understand why they continued to sell tickets to that theater when the AC wasn't working. They had to know taht people were going to freak out and ask to be switched or for their money back. I don't get it.

So for all of you who are miserable in your low 90 summer weather, quit your bitching. It could be worse. I'll just try to keep that in mind when It's 32 here and, like -32 somewhere else.

D

It’s in the jeans

2007-07-30T10:34:00.000-04:00

It’s amazing how much morale is improved by the simple addition of denim into the work equation. Therefore, I think all employers should make Jeans Day a weekly thing.

I know that it would probably lose its novelty quickly, but it would still be more effective than the standard “Casual Friday” or shit like that. I mean, I can only get away with spicing up the office environment with a Hawaiian shirt so many times before it just gets old… or I get in trouble.

I know that I always feel better about my job when I get to come in and be more comfortable doing whatever it is I’m up to that day. And that comfort is a big X-factor: as the comfort level rises, the effectiveness margin increases, while the grouchiness quotient is minimalized; thus making me more productive and less likely to snap postal-style.

And that’s just one person. Multiply that by a couple of hundred people, and it’s starting to look like an actual, good idea. Well, at least to me anyways.

So, it’s either that, or we get to start drinking at work. And I’m pretty much good with either one.

D

How D got his groove back

2007-07-25T21:58:00.000-04:00

Or back in the groove, really.

Sorry for the severe lack of posting. Again. Well, again again. I've just been into a routine like you wouldn't imagine. And you don't really have to imagine it, 'cause I can describe it to you:

-work
-gym
-TV
-sleep
-rinse and repeat

The weekends have been great, but pretty uneventful, for which I'm actually pretty grateful. That allows me to focus on the things that I need to and want to. But throwing the occasional wedding celebration in there with free booze and a bartender who "twists your arm" to do shots with him, doesn't hurt much either.

But, like I said: I'm back in my routine, and I'm really enjoying it. After being slack-assed for a couple of weeks, I needed something to kinda jar me back into things. How about an interview for your dream job, will that do? Why yes, that'll do marvelously thank you.

So now I'm focused on my next immediate goal that goes down in 3 weeks, and prepping for it. Now if I go a few days without posting (again again again, or something), you'll know why. Either nothing interesting is happening anywhere within my vicinity (or where I can Google it), or I just haven't gotten around to it. But eventually I will. Hopefully.

Hugs and kisses,

D

"Knock knock"

2007-07-19T20:11:00.000-04:00

"Who's there?"
"Opportunity."
"Opportunity who?"
"I said Opportunity, bitch! Now open up the goddamned door!"
---

Opportunity knocked (well, called really) today. Sort of.

I got my interview. Unfortunately though, it's not for another month. But at least I have that to look forward to instead of just sitting around and waiting. And waiting. Aaaannnnnd waiting.

Yeah. So that happened.

D

Rapid Fire

2007-07-17T21:54:00.000-04:00

While also the name of a kick-ass Brandon Lee movie, it's how I plan to update the Interweb on my various goings ons and rants and what have yous.

- A new Flash Gordon show? Well, Sci-Fi has a rather impressive collection of shows now, so yeah, I'll give it a shot.

- Staying with Sci-Fi: Kick ass! Battlestar Galactica returns in November, and looks just as good as the previous 3 seasons.

- Harry Potter good. Voldemort bad. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was great. I have only read the first book, so I've thoroughly enjoyed the movies without literary bias. This one easily became my favorite so far.

- A new werewolf movie? Skinwalkers is probably gonna suck lycan balls, what with it being PG-13 and studio crap and all, but I'll probably want to see it anyways. I'm really waiting on the high concept idea of Full Moon Fever.

- I hate moving. I hate moving other people even more. But that's what friends do. But good friends who enlist the aid of other friends to move all their shit for them know to supply said friends with free alcohol and food. Liz was polite enough to have a keg of Miller Lite and several pounds of spicy chicken nuggets waiting for me on Friday. And Saturday. That is why Liz will remain as "good people" and I'll help her move again. Probably.

- Sometimes it just feels good to throw a bunch of shit away, you know? Spent the better part of a day this weekend going through some of the stored crap I have, and decided that I had to hand out a few pink slips. It's both therapeutic and traumatic for me at the same time as two sides of me are at war when I do that: the pack rat and the OCD freak who hates clutter.

- I must borrow Liz's shop vac. It cleans so damned well!

- Bought some new toys for the Future Overlord. Saw that he really didn't have anything but his balls to play with (hee hee), and by that I mean the tennis, volley, soccer and foot variety. So now he has a squeaky cat, squeaky alien, and a fire hose toy... with a squeaky in it. Man, I'm an idiot.

- A talking, fighting, armored-up polar bear? Fuck. Wait for it.... YEAH! I want one.

- Quicken was like crack for me over the weekend as soon as I got it. Couldn't stop playing with it. I may have actually gone a little blind because of it. Although the hairy palm was totally just dog fur.

- The Marvel U rejects return. Bigger and dumber than the first time too. There's no Major Victory, but Mr. Mitzvah is my front runner for a favorite, not Hygena like you'd all expect. I could say I'm not gonna watch, but I'd be lying and you'd all call me on it.

- God of Making My Thumbs Hurt is more like it. God Of War 2 kicks so much harpy ass, I can hardly believe it. And yet there I have been, just ripping their wings off and eviscerating damned near everything on the screen. If you played and liked the first one, the
second will not disappoint. The cinematic cut scenes are almost worth the price alone (plus a voice cameo by Michael Clarke Duncan), especially when you borrowed it and didn't pay for it.

Wow. That's more happy horseshit than I thought there'd be. So I'll nip it in the extended bud for now and try to resume some sort of regular posting when I can.

D

Just go ahead and crown me

2007-07-13T14:27:00.001-04:00

I’m the King of Over-reacting.

I rule over all of Jackassery, the province of Damnit, the northern territories of Whatthefuck, the shires of Awshit, and I even have a time-share in the south of D’oh.

So my outrage towards Walkallovaya has died down a bit. After hours of research I found something that helped to narrow the gap between their purported balance and my own. It narrowed it, but still left enough of one so that I can’t just waive it off despite my own self-inflicted shame.

I’m also still awaiting their response to my email, and I’ll give it a while to see if the numbers work themselves out; but I’m still not happy that I’ve had problems with them for 2 months in a row. Yes, I can make a mistake every once in a while; but I can always rectify it pretty quickly after digging through receipts and whatnot. I just don’t understand how they can keep making my simple math look like it’s been done by a lobotomized Yorkie.

Since this isn’t entirely all my fault, I guess this is really more of a "...D’oh?"

D

Walkallovaya

2007-07-12T22:21:00.000-04:00

Wachovia's fucking me. I just know it.

There's no damned way that my basic addition and subtraction can be that fucking bad. Especially with the use of a goddamned calculator!

Last month I got hosed for $30. I emailed them with a request to look into it, as both my checkbook and my anal-retentive Excel spreadsheet said I should have a higher balance than what was on their website. Apparently not, according to them. So I bent over, took it in the ass, and went with their fucked-up balance.

Now, not even half-way through the month, there's a fucking $60 motherfucking discrepancy AGAIN! This is bullshit!

I passed all my math classes. I know how to balance a checkbook. I've had no problems with it for a long time, and now I'm all of a sudden incapable of balancing it? I highly doubt it.

I'm gonna wait and see what their response email says, and then I'm going to call if I don't like what they have to say. If they fuck up again, I'm changing banks.

Goddamned Walkallovaya.

D

TV= good again

2007-07-10T22:02:00.000-04:00

Man, I thought this day would never come again. Actual, good TV is back on the air.

With the return of Dr. Who, Eureka, Hex, and Jericho; I finally have a reason to set the ol' VCR to stun, er, record. And also enlist the aid of Kelley's Tivo.

And here I was thinking I was gonna have to be all creative and shit with my free time. Ha! Not bloody likely!

D

Home Improvement?

2007-07-09T20:57:00.000-04:00

So finally after months of bitching about the molding on my front door, I got some maintenance guys to come over and take a gander at it. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy patch job or anything, but I didn't think it would be quite as extensive a project as it turned out to be.

Guys had to take my friggin' door off, along with the frame and molding. And then they installed a new door, which is not the same color white as the rest of the outside or inside, re-framed the whole damned thing and pointed out what an ass the last guy to do that was and showed me how bad he screwed it up. I felt like I was on Jake's favorite show "Holmes on Homes".

So now I had a nicely sealed front door that still looks like shit when you look at it the right way on the inside. And that chunked-off molding is gone on the outside (I no longer really have any decorative molding out there). But there still was a slight problem with the back door.

Turns out (and I have no idea how I never noticed this before) that there were 2 little spaces on either bottom corner that you could see clear through to the outside with. So I guess that's where all those ants kept coming from and where a good deal of my air was going.

And rather than go through the trouble of asking that poor guy who busted his ass on the upper-90's for and hour and a half to fix that, I asked him for a simple solution. 1/4" weather stripping ought to do it he suggested.

So I went to Lowe's after work and got some. Heh. Anyways, I paid like $8 bucks for a whole roll of weather stripping, and only used like 3 inches of it. And I by no means did a professionaljob of it, but I think I did about as good a job as a Comm Arts kid could have done. So if it ends up helping me save money on the electric bill (along with the ton of energy efficient bulbs I bought), then I'm happy with it.

I'm just glad nothing caught fire when I was trying to do it myself.

D

iLike iChat

2007-07-02T09:48:00.000-04:00

UPDATE:
Use the "Big, Dumb Email" to send me your AOL ID if you want to chat, with the possibility of coming pseudo face to face with me as well.

Last night, yours truly was astounded yet again at the marvels of technology that reside within his magical techno box that helps him connect to the internets.

I discovered the time and space displacer known to people as "iChat". But I have come to know it as "The Magic Window".

So far I know it works with one person who has a MacBook, webcam and an AIM account. Now I just have to try it out with other people. Anybody got a webcam and AIM account? Lemme know.

If this takes off, I may never talk to anyone face to face again.

D

My new love

2007-07-01T20:22:00.000-04:00

I have a new favorite domestic beer:

It's certainly no Guinness, but it's damned good. And being a non-import, it's cheaper on the ol' wallet. Which makes my bank account cry a little less. And my liver cry a little more.

I raise my bottle to all my interweb friends.

Cheers.

D

What!?!?

2007-06-26T14:12:00.001-04:00

WWE wrestler Chris Benoit and family found dead
BY ALFONSO A. CASTILLO
alfonso.castillo@newsday.com

June 26, 2007, 1:02 PM EDT

Pro wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife and smothered his son before hanging himself in his weight room, a law enforcement official close to the investigation told The Associated Press Tuesday.

The official spoke on the condition of anonymity.

Authorities also said they are investigating whether steroids may have been a factor in the deaths of Benoit, his wife and their 7-year-old son who were found dead in an apparent murder-suicide.

Fayette County District Attorney Scott Ballard said test results may not be back for weeks or even months.

Autopsies were scheduled Tuesday by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation in DeKalb County.

Benoit, 40, was discovered dead in his home in suburban Atlanta by Fayetville police yesterday – a day after he no-showed two scheduled matches in Texas over the weekend, including at World Wrestling Entertainment's Vengeance pay per view event in Houston Sunday night. He cited a family emergency as the reason for skipping the shows.

After friends in WWE received several "curious text messages" from Benoit, and WWE officials were unable to reach him, the sheriff's department in Peachtree City, GA went to Benoit's home to check on his family about 2:30 p.m.

After maneuvering through two German shepherds that guarded the home, police found Benoit, his wife and child dead in three separate rooms in the home, according to WAGA-TV. The Wrestling Observer newsletter reported that Fayette County police are operating under the theory that Benoit killed his wife on Saturday, son Daniel on Sunday, and then killed himself yesterday.

ABC News reported that authorities had found "the instruments of death" at Benoit's home – a mansion surrounded by stone walls with a gravel road leading to double iron gates.

MSNBC has reported that a police press conference disclosing preliminary autopsy results is expected to take place this afternoon.

Fayette County District Attorney Scott Ballard told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that the details of the incident may "prove a little bizarre" when they come out.

WWE.com reported that, "The three bodies have been received by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation's crime lab, in Decatur, Ga., where autopsies will be performed Tuesday morning. Toxicology reports will not become available for at least two weeks."

WWE scrapped their schedule live, sold-out Monday Night RAW program in Corpus Cristy last night and sent fans home. In the show's place, WWE chairman Vince McMahon and the WWE announce team introduced a three-hour career retrospective that included several highlight's from Benoit's 22-year career, as well as emotional testimonials from fellow pro wrestlers.

McMahon reportedly broke the news around 4:30 p.m. yesterday to a locker room overcome with shock and grief. As news of authorities' suspicion that Benoit killed his wife and son came out, WWE scaled back their tribute to the former world champion on the WWE web site. The company is scheduled to hold its regular television tapings tonight.

Benoit, an Edmonton, Canada native, trained in Calgary and made his pro debut in 1985. He plied his trade in Japan for years before become a fixture on the American wrestling circuit in the mid-1990s. He joined WWE in 1999 and won the company's world heavyweight championship at Madison Square Garden at WrestleMania XX in 2004. He was widely expected to win the Extreme Championship Wrestling world title at Sunday's pay per view event.

Benoit became romantically involved with the then Nancy Sullivan, who worked as a pro wresting valet under the name "Woman," in the mid-1990's while she was married to another wrestler, Kevin Sullivan. The Pro Wrestling Torch newsletter said the marriage was known among wrestling circles to be volatile.

Benoit had two children from another relationship that were not in the home during the deaths.

The Associated Press contributed to this story.
Copyright 2007 Newsday Inc.
----

I can’t help but think that somewhere, Eddie Guerrero is crying. And now they’ll never get to wrestle that one last, great match in Heaven.

Finally! Middleground has come back to... Statesboro.

2007-06-25T22:39:00.000-04:00

Who better to to introduce a post about a grand old rock show than The Rock himself? Well, I'm sure there were far more suitable candidates that stride the halls of the Music Hall of Fame or even the aisles of your local Sam Goody. But I came up with The Rock. Deal with it.

As much as I'd like to relay the wonders of a Middleground & Elohsa show to those of you who've never seen 'em before... it's really not gonna happen. Mostly because I always get way too drunk at every one of 'em, and that tends to wreck the ol' recall. I usually just have to go with "Man, I don't remember a whole hell of a lot from the show. But I bet it was awesome."

So just take my word for it: bad-assedness was a plenty. And the kick-assery quotient of the 2, count 'em 2, sets Middleground played knew no bounds. For those of you who need visual proof and can't just take my word for it (what? my word not good enough for you? dick.), see the following taint-rocking pictures courtesy of the fine Administration at the IHT:

See? What'd I tell you? Fanfuckingtastic. See that girl there in the black? She's having an eargasm because the show was so damned good.

Wow. That just about did it. I got nothing to follow up after the whole "eargasm" bit. So um, if I've taught anybody anything, I hope that it's: Middleground=awesome. And eargasm=post ender.

D

I just couldn't find a way to work in the Honky Tonk Man like I did The Rock...

K9 to 5

2007-06-22T14:25:00.000-04:00

Damnit! Totally didn't even know about this:

I feel cheated and a little dead inside knowing that somewhere, some asshole is getting to bring in his asshole dog to his asshole job and parade themselves around like the assholes they are to all of his asshole co-workers and their asshole dogs. And Brody's just sitting at home waiting for me to come home and play with him.

That sucks. That sucks hard.

D

You know what I hate?

2007-06-22T14:05:00.000-04:00

I hate that when I have to “take a meeting” at work and there’s hardly anyone else on campus, and every bathroom still smells like someone’s gone and committed a crime against nature in there. Every, single, damned one.

So there I am, having to drop it like it’s hot, and I have to bounce from bathroom to bathroom all over freakin’ campus in order to find one that’s clean and quiet so I can go ahead and drown a water buffalo.

Gorram people. That’s why I prefer to do my best work at home.

D

Get your motor running…

2007-06-19T16:56:00.000-04:00

Head out on the sidewalk!

Heh. The disabilities coordinator just got in a new scooter/wheel chair/object of my slacking desire:

She’s a beaut, Clark.

And she’ll haul some serious handicapped ass too. I had it cranked all the way to 11- displayed on the dash as a rabbit. I guess rabbits are like the 11 of the animal kingdom. That would put the cheetah at about a 37 or something I guess.

Anyhoo, as a service to her students, the disabilities coordinator needs to make sure that the battery won’t conk out on someone driving it on campus. So she has to have the battery worn down to dead before it can be re-charged. But it’s taking a while to wear that sucker down. A cause I have taken upon myself to champion. Granted, that’s not exactly the 13th labor of Hercules; but seriously, it can actually get kinda boring driving around a deserted campus after a while. I didn’t think it could, but frak me running (or riding) if it doesn’t.

So I’m gonna chip away at it. Every day I’ll take it out for a spin until I get bored, get in trouble or wear the damned thing out. Whichever comes first. Eventually, it’ll be spent; and I’m sure that I will be too. Tired of riding that thing with no one new to honk at or impress with my Andretti-esque scootering skills.

Man, you know it's bad when even the fun things at work start to get tedious and be a bit of a pain in the ass. Oh well, it's a living.

There goes my beer-o... watch it as it goes

2007-06-18T20:36:00.000-04:00

*Sigh* First $100 power bill of the season. And it'll only go up just about every freakin' month for summer after this.

I've tried every damned thing I could think of to reduce the amount of power used, all to no avail. New weather stripping won't help because of a huge chunk of molding missing from the front door (need to yell at them again to come and fix that). And keeping the air up high during the day when I'm gone doesn't work and isn't fair to the dog.

So basically I'm hosed. I'll just have to cut way back on all the fun stuff. Or at least prioritize better.

*sigh* Goddamnit. Time to start re-thinking the whole roommate thing again...

D

Tales of Dickery: Wedding Crashers, SBDA Style (alcohol-free edition)

2007-06-15T17:09:00.000-04:00

To reward you all for your patience while I've had a severe lack of both time and creativity, I present to you another issue of everyone's favorite: Tales (tales tales)... of (of of)... Dickery (ickery ickery)!!

And be sure to search "Dickery" within the blog to brush up on all that dickery goodness.

----
I’ve mentioned Zeke, Lando and weddings before in previous Tales of Dickery; but this time we get an extra special treat and I combine all 3 for you.

Wedding Crashers: SBDA Style
Lando was getting married and was gracious enough to invite those of us in the office that he felt would actually come if he extended the invitation. That list included myself, Zeke, some coworkers, our boss, and our boss’ boss.

Zeke had already left the confines of the Deathstar to start work doing something a little less soul erasing in another town. So he made plans to drive up that day for the wedding and we’d just go together, since his wife couldn’t go and I didn’t even bother to try and find a date to this little shindig.

So we arrive a little early and go ahead and sign in. We’ve been in the church for all of 2 and a half minutes when Zeke starts with the shenanigans. He signs in on the guest register as “Zeke …., Esquire.” And then proceeds to sign me in a faux fashion as well.

After a groan from me, we pick up the program, and have a seat in the middle-to-back section. We’re there for about 3 minutes before Zeke lets out the first obscenity in church and proclaims “Fuck. I need a cigarette.”

We head outside, Zeke has a smoke, I have some tainted oxygen, we greet some other coworkers (and former coworkers), and then shoot the shit for a minute. We finally decide to head in and take our seats for the upcoming spectacle, but inadvertently cause one of those great situations where you come in a little late and everyone stops what they’re doing to turn and look at you as you enter. We smile some lighthearted and half-embarrased smiles, take our seats, and about a minute goes before the magical mystery tour begins.

Skip ahead a few 10 minutes or so and now the priest is well into his sermon about the joining of man and forehead, trust, cherishing and all that jazz when he gets to the pivotal portion. He’s going on and mentions something about this “inviting love” shared between Lando and the soon-to-be, Mrs. Lando Calrissian.

It’s at this point that Zeke turns to me and says... “Did he just say ‘in Viking love’?”

Now that's what I'm talking about!

How loud is a stifled laugh that mostly comes through your nose in a quiet, crowded church? Pretty fucking loud. Loud enough for just about everyone to turn and look at you in the middle of someone’s biggest day.

I wish I could say that it ended with that. But it didn’t because Zeke wouldn’t let it. I had him next to me acting out little scenes of Vikings in love and asking numerous ill begotten questions about said Vikings and their love lives. And I kept laughing. And if you’ve ever tried really hard not to laugh at something, then you know just how much funnier it gets and how hard it is to hold it in.

So I grabbed a pencil from the holder in front of me and I jabbed it into my hand. At that point, the stifled laughs were replaced by a muffled cry of pain. And I kept grinding the pencil into my hand so that I wouldn’t laugh. It kinda worked. There became a mixture of laughing at viking-love humor and wimpering as I introduced lead into my bloodstream forcefully. And a few tears, but I'm not sure if those were from the jokes or the pencil.

So there’s Zeke and I laughing and trying not to laugh; with Lando’s family, friends, co-workers, boss, boss’ boss all getting irritated with us and giving us the evil eye. Which of course made it even funnier.

Finally, Lando and Forehead say okey dokey, and Zeke and I haul ass out of the church into the parking lot to let out all the stifled laughter that had been welling up in us throughout the ceremony. After those good times, I thought it was gonna be relatively downhill from there.

But then the reception happened.

Now despite that awesome bit of segueing, I won’t realy go into the reception portion of it as I’m still furious that there was no booze whatsoever and I’m still trying to block the memory of a sober reception. If he'd like, I’ll let Zeke tell that as a special addendum (hint hint). I went on a tear about there being no booze and only some God-awful sparkling cider, and he got to go on a tirade about Australians all living on a penal colony (heh heh) and call a former boss’ husband (we’ll call him Nigel), a "fucking convict".
---

I know, I know. That one kinda ended abruptly and without the huge payoff you were hoping for, kinda like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. But I ran outta steam. Sorry.

And so ends another Tale of Dickery. This time I actually got to go to someone’s wedding, and then I went and tarnished the shit out of it. Figures. Maybe that’s why I don’t get invited to more of them.

D

It's "traditional" not "plain"

2007-06-14T14:38:00.000-04:00

Anybody seen this?

Sports Illustrated's "College Football's Best Uniforms"

And check out who's in the #8 slot:

#85 Teddy Craft- just about the best representative Eagle you could ask for.

I really don't see how fucking Wofford could be ahead of us. Doesn't 6 National Championships warrant a trading of the spots? I think it does.

D

I wouldn't even have to say it anymore

2007-06-13T18:44:00.000-04:00

I must have this shirt.

Found it over at ThinkGeek.com via Jake.

That's so frakkin' me.

D

Nuts to you, CBS!

2007-06-12T16:56:00.000-04:00

This was supposed to be posted late last week, but stuff came up and I never got around to it. So consider it a retroactive treat.

Looks like the fans of CBS’ “Jericho” accomplished what fans of “Firefly” and other ill-fated and prematurely cancelled shows couldn’t do: they won back their show.

Well, only 7 episodes that will be aired mid-season next year; but still that’s 7 more episodes to help either wrap the series up after the 1st season cliff-hanger ending or try and parlay that into a full second season if the audience and viewership grows significantly.

And how’d all those Jericholics help get their point across to The Eye? They took up donations to send over 20 tons (that’s about 8 million) peanuts to both the Los Angeles and New York branch offices for CBS. Below is the letter that CBS Entertainment President Nina Tassler posted on the show’s official message board. Take notice of the very last line.

---
"Wow! Over the past few weeks you have put forth an impressive and probably unprecedented display of passion in support of a prime time television series. You got our attention; your emails and collective voice have been heard.

As a result, CBS has ordered seven episodes of "Jericho" for mid-season next year. In success, there is the potential for more. But, for there to be more "Jericho," we will need more viewers.

A loyal and passionate community has clearly formed around the show. But that community needs to grow. It needs to grow on the CBS Television Network, as well as on the many digital platforms where we make the show available.

We will count on you to rally around the show, to recruit new viewers with the same grass-roots energy, intensity and volume you have displayed in recent weeks.

At this time, I cannot tell you the specific date or time period that "Jericho" will return to our schedule. However, in the interim, we are working on several initiatives to help introduce the show to new audiences. This includes re-broadcasting "Jericho" on CBS this summer, streaming episodes and clips from these episodes across the CBS Audience Network (online), releasing the first season DVD on September 25 and continuing the story of Jericho in the digital world until the new episodes return. We will let you know specifics when we have them so you can pass them on.

On behalf of everyone at CBS, thank you for expressing your support of "Jericho" in such an extraordinary manner. Your protest was creative, sustained and very thoughtful and respectful in tone. You made a difference. P.S. Please stop sending us nuts."
---

“Please stop sending us nuts.” Ha! Classic.

Well, even if it is only for a mere 7 episodes, it’s enough to finish what they started and maybe they can steamroll it into an awesome ending like they were able to do with “Angel.” Alright, maybe not that awesome an ending, but gimme something. Hell, I’d be happy with just seeing Robert use that damned tank somehow.

D

Yata!

2007-06-08T18:53:00.000-04:00

I passed both of 'em!!

Thanks for all your words of encouragement. I never once heard anyone (even off the Interweb) who said anything discouraging. And I'd like to think that you all helped me out a little bit while I was there too.

I tried gathering all the good karma that I'd been trying to amass, kinda like a DBZ spirit bomb, just trying to get as much good luck/karma/help/insurance as I could on my side.

And it paid off.

So again, thanks. But I still have a long road to go before I even get a spot in the next class and then hopefully on after that. But for now, I'm satisfied with my performance. Not happy, but satisfied.

D

Wish me luck

2007-06-07T12:28:00.001-04:00

I'm headed out to take my tests.

D

Out of left field

2007-06-06T16:21:00.000-04:00

I once told someone that half the Internet was for fabricating and squashing rumors and the other half is porn. Well apparently there’s the tiniest smidgen of space that’s reserved for stumbling upon old, school chums. And I don’t mean MySpace.

How odd is it that someone I went to 6th grade with finds me again after about 15 years through SBDA of all ways? Pretty damned if you’re in my shoes. But then again, when you think about it, it’s actually rather apropos. I mean, that’s what the show is all about now isn’t it? Shaking things up for the BDA and watching how he reacts? Look at how the ratings soared when they brought The Icon back for that season in the office (the season of “The Disgruntled Duo”), or any of the Tales of Dickery that have been visited upon me.

So anyways, now we’re playing catch up; and I’m getting the biggest kick out of hearing him tell me about his Uncanny X-Men and Ninja Gaiden-induced flashbacks that led to him Googling me (after all these years and countless jokes, that still sounds dirty). And weirder than his flashbacks, are my own recent honest-to-God flashbacks and wonderings of what he was up to. Nearly every time I thought of The Joker, I thought of Luke. Hey, I did say it was weird.

Who knew that there could actually be some productive aspects of the Interweb that doesn’t require the giving of your credit card number or submitting A/S/L? Not me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to fabricating rumors about people, squashing the ones about me, and looking for more porn.

D

May I borrow a cup of Pantera?

2007-06-06T16:17:00.000-04:00

Getting pretty tired of the songs I have on my Shuffle. 5 to 6 days a week with the same songs over and over gets pretty old. Kinda reminds me of commercial radio.

I need some new blood because I’m tired of skipping over the same old songs in favor of listening to the other same old songs that are getting me less and less psyched. Barney would not be pleased.

So anybody with gym-quality iTunes or CDs, look out. I’m coming for you. Well, your music really. But still, I’ll be coming. And you won’t know it’s me, ‘cause I’ll be disguised. Or not. I haven’t really worked that bit out yet. But I could be!

D

Don't mind me. Just a run of the mill tree here. Not here to steal your music whatsoever.

The Big, Dumb American gets Knocked Up

2007-06-04T10:05:00.000-04:00

First, let me get this out of the way: I’m no reviewer. With that said, I’m gonna throw a few thoughts against the wall and see what sticks…

Went and saw “Knocked Up” this past Saturday, and it was pretty good. It didn’t knock my socks off like I was hoping it would; but really, what movie does these days? Oh, and that “knock my socks off” was purely unintentional.

What with this being a Judd Apatow movie, you’d expect it to just be hi-frickin-larious throughout, but it’s not. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a God-awful amount of humor in there; it’s just that Apatow actually writes and, more importantly, develops a real relationship between the main characters (and supporting as well). One that seems like it was ripped right from your or your buddy’s life. So you’re pretty well invested in the whole movie.

Here’s an example:
Every “relationship” movie has the inevitable fight that leads to some sort of reconciliation between the couple (not always guaranteeing them getting back together mind you). But most of those movies have stupid fights based on retarded premises. Not in “Knocked Up”. This fight is one of those knock-down, drag-out, slobber-knockers of a fight that everyone who has ever been in a real relationship has gone through. So even if you start to feel slightly disconnected from the main characters, that will pull you right back in to them.

Speaking of the characters: Seth Rogen as “Ben”, the ne’er do well semi-everyman, is pretty much spot on. And Katherine Heigl as "Allison", that girl that’s just out of your league, but you think you’d be perfect together if she would just slum it just once, is on the money too. The sister and brother-in-law (who doesn't love Paul Rudd?) are a little harder to buy into, but still pretty credible because of their own, involved relationship.

I don’t want to go into too much more of the movie, so as to not spoil anything for those who haven’t seen it yet, but it’s safe to say that it’s much, much more than a relationship movie or even a guy movie or chick flick. Apatow does a great job of taking plenty of real-life experiences and shining them up for Hollywood, but still retaining what makes them real and connects to the audience. And that’s something that you just don’t see a lot now outside of smaller, indy movies.

And at 133 minutes or so, you’re definitely getting your money’s worth.

There. I tried reviewing a movie.

D

Rain rain go away, come again another day

2007-06-02T07:42:00.000-04:00

Damn.

It's Saturday and I just woke up to a little bit of rain. I was supposed to go practice this morning, but I don't know if they'll have it when it's raining or not. I want to say they would since you know, they don't just fight fires during optimum weather. But I just don't see it happening with some of the equipment that they use, most notably the stair climber and the forcable entry pad, being machines and electronic. And I don't want to go down and not practice the whole thing like I need to.

And I damned sure don't want to drive 2 hours just to use the $5 off coupon I have for dog food at Petsmart.

Maybe I can see if I can take off a little early on Tuesday to hit the last practiced offered.

I dunno. Frak it. I'm going back to bed.

D

'Tis better to give AND receive or: Why Captain America hates Nazis

2007-06-01T12:21:00.000-04:00

I gave blood. Did you?

Give:
-double red blood cells to the American Red Cross

Receive:
-a free t-shirt
-2 hours off work
-free cookies and juice
-free hotdogs and hamburgers for lunch
-a sense of accomplishment that you were able to sit there for an hour or more with a friggin’ needle in your arm, knowing that it’s worth it if it helps save someone’s life.

-----

When you’re sitting there pumping your fist every 5 seconds or so, your mind has a tendency to wander. Blame it on the sudden loss of blood; but when they pumped the cold plasma back into my arm, I started wondering if that’s how Steve Rogers felt when he received the Super Soldier Serum. Then I felt a little sad for him when I realized that while he did gain super human strength, stamina, agility, etc; poor Steve never got any juice and cookies. No wonder Cap hates Nazis so much: that spy kept him from getting his orange-pineapple juice and sugar free lemon cookies.

Damned Nazis spies.

D

You know what I hate?

2007-05-29T20:30:00.000-04:00

When people walk their dog using a chain instead of a real leash.

I hate that shit.

D

Chilled Gobbler

2007-05-29T20:14:00.000-04:00

Day 1 without any Xenadrine. Not as bad as I thought it was gonna be really. No more cranky at work than usual, so that was a plus I guess. And the trip to the gym really only sucked because I went up in weight on everything. So, so far so good.

But it's only day one...

D

Disorderlies

2007-05-21T10:49:00.000-04:00

Wow. At the CPAT practice this weekend the inmates were pretty much running the asylum. And by inmates, I mean us candidates. And by asylum, I mean the whole frickin' test.

With less than a month until the real CPATs are given, I expected to roll up to the training facilities and see a swarm of firefighters and candidates ready to administer and practice the CPAT respectively. When I got there, there must have been 30-40 firefighters already, but I was one of the first couple of candidates. It was still pretty early, so I thought for sure there would be dozens more showing up later for one of the last couple practices. Yeah, um, not so much.

There ended up being about 10 of us ready to practice, and so all those firefighters were sent off to do various assignments. None of which included setting up or administering the CPAT. We waited around while they fumbled through a bunch of stuff trying to set everything up all bass ackwards.

Finally it got to the point that 3 of us said "Fuck it. At this point we can probably do this just as well as they can." So we started setting up, finding equiment, getting guys ready, and even started to proctor the damned thing ourselves. We reset sections of the course when it needed to be done, got everyone into and out of their weight vests, and did everything that was supposed to be done for us. 'Cause hey, it needed to be done.

And the proctor they finally did get to guide us? I'd been through the course more times than he had. Seriously, he'd never done it before. There was one point where he just stopped what he was doing and started doing something else, so I just went on with out him until he caught back up to me. I was half waiting for a "What'd I miss?", but it never came. Guess he just figured I knew what I was doing, or he just really didn't give enough of a shit to ask. Although it was nice to have a bit of a musical soundtrack to accompany my run, seeing as how he was wearing an iPod the whole damned time.

And as a result of all this chaos and mass confusion, my times (along with everyone else's) sucked ass. No one could focus on the job at hand, as we were all still frazzeled from the bad start and things like the ladder that's supposed to be raised still being raised instead of in its proper position: on the ground (that'd be on my first run). Luckily, though my pride was wounded from lack of a speedy clearing of the course, I still did complete both runs and had to make due with the fact that despite the interference, I finished in time.

Yay, I guess.

D

West & Wewaxation

2007-05-21T10:34:00.000-04:00

"Shazam!"

Amazing what a good weekend will do to recharge your batteries and give you a little, extra juice, isn't it?

Not a lot of the real "rest and relaxation" to be had, but just the right amount scattered throughout the trip to the gym, CPAT training, errands, retirement party, boozing, and grocery shopping that littered the 2.5 days that were sans work.

Just wish I could find that balance every weekend. That'd be nice.

Savannah it is then.

2007-05-20T13:01:00.000-04:00

Found out yesterday that getting on the Statesboro FD won't be happening any time soon.

I heard that not only is the Department not going to get the new positions, promotions, facilities and equipment that they requested; that the City is actually making them do some budget cuts. Needless to say that the Fire Chief (whom they brought in specifically to help the Department grow to be where it needs to be) is a little pissed. And that no one would really be all that surprised if he was already looking for another job since both he and the Department are getting hosed so soon after his hiring.

So now I'm cemented into going to Savannah if I get on there, after holding on to a little hope that maybe Statesboro would hire on some new guys first. That's ok though. It was pretty much my plan to get on there, get better training, some great experience, and then parlay that into getting on somewhere else. Maybe a bigger city like Atlanta, Denver, etc.

Oh well. Shit happens.

D

Preseason Roster Checks: The CW

2007-05-18T12:15:00.000-04:00

The CW is basically the expansion team here playing in the majors with the other Big 4. And judging from their preseason roster, you can tell why. An entire up-front of complete and utter crap. I mean it. This stuff is bad. But I’m not really surprised from the network that refused to let “7th Heaven” die, and is still actually renewing “The Game,” “Girlfriends,” and most of the rest of their roster. Still, they’re holding strong with “Smallville” and “Supernatural.” Now for the player intros…

The CW's Fall 2007 TV Schedule
Who Got Cut:

"7th Heaven," "All of Us," "Gilmore Girls," "Reba," "Runaway."

Who Got Retained:
"America's Next Top Model," "Beauty and the Geek," "Everybody Hates Chris," "The Game," "Girlfriends," "One Tree Hill," "Pussycat Dolls Present," "Smallville," "Supernatural," "WWE Smackdown."

Newly Acquired:

“Aliens in America,” “Gossip Girl,” “Life is Wild,” “Reaper”

The All-Stars:

“Smallville,” “Supernatural”

Players To Watch?:

-“Reaper”- The only decent show in CW’s draft class is about a slacker bounty hunter, whose targets are escaped demons from Hell. So, like Ghost Rider without the gimmick. Or Nicolas Cage. Which, come to think of it, slightly raises its stock. Slightly.

(Supernatural Dramedy, Tuesdays 9pm)For the first 20 years of his life, Sam (Bret Harrison) wondered why his parents went so easy on him. Whether it was school, sports or career choices, Sam's mom (Allison Hossack) and dad (Andrew Airlie) always let him get by with the least possible effort, while at the same time pressuring his younger brother Keith (Kyle Switzer) to excel. As a result, Sam skipped college, took a dead-end job and now wastes endless hours playing video games and wishing he had the guts to ask out his pretty co-worker, Andi (Nikki Reed). Everything in his slacker world changes the day Sam turns 21 and discovers the ungodly reason his parents let him slide: they sold his soul to the devil before he was born. Satan himself (Ray Wise) drops by to personally explain that Sam must now serve as his bounty hunter, tracking down evil souls that have escaped and returning them to Hell. At first, Sam refuses to accept his bizarre fate, but after getting just a glimpse of Satan's temper, Sam realizes that breaking a deal with the devil has consequences that are very, very bad. Armed with a constantly changing series of vessels - starting with a Dirt Devil mini-vacuum - to collect the escapees, Sam immediately finds that the work is dangerous and frightening, even with the goofball help of his friends and fellow slackers, Bert "Sock" Wysocki (Tyler Labine) and Ben (Rick Gonzalez), along with Sock's former-girlfriend-turned-paralegal, Josie (Valarie Rae Miller). Still, as weird and scary as his life has become, Sam is surprised to find that he somehow feels good about his newfound "mission" - removing evil-doers from the world and sending them back where they belong. With his friends and his trusty vessel-of-the-week at his side, Sam is ready to face his destiny as the Reaper.

----
The Network’s Rotation:
MONDAY
8pm: "Everybody Hates Chris"

8:30pm: "Aliens in America"

9pm: "Girlfriends"

9:30pm: "The Game"

TUESDAY

8pm: "Beauty and the Geek"

9pm: "Reaper"

WEDNESDAY

8pm: "America's Next Top Model"

9pm: "Gossip Girl"

THURSDAY

8pm: "Smallville"

9pm: "Supernatural"

FRIDAY

8pm: "WWE Friday Night Smackdown"

SUNDAY

7pm: "Online Nation"

7pm: "CW Now"

8pm: "Life is Wild"

9pm: "America's Next Top Model" (encore)

----

After getting pretty psyched last year with all of Fall’s potential to have me showgasming most nights of the week, I’m really feeling like this Fall is going to be severely “meh”-worthy. Hell, ABC & Fox aren’t even bothering to list “Lost” and “24” in their Fall up-fronts. Not sure if that’s overconfidence in their new shows, or just them being assholes and making fans wait for some of their top-rated shows.

I just think one of the worst things that a network can do is to try and create a buzz and following for a show in Fall, only to switch it to another night/time in the Spring and count on everyone making the jump with it. That seems to hurt the show 95% of the time. Yet that keeps happening.

But what do I know about what makes for good TV scheduling? I’m just a viewer.

D

Preseason Roster Checks: Fox

2007-05-18T12:07:00.000-04:00

Ah, Fox: the masked executioner of the networks. Always waiting to drop the axe on quality shows that haven’t been given a fair shake, because they’ve been screwed over by various methods. My disdain for you grows exponentially each season. So who’s gonna get cancelled early this year? Let’s take a look…

Fox's Fall 2007 TV Schedule

Who Got Cut:

"Drive," "Happy Hour," "Justice," "The Loop," "The O.C.," "The Rich List," "Stand-off," "Vanished," "The Wedding Bells," "The War at Home," "The Winner."

Who Got Retained:

"24," "American Dad," "American Idol," "America's Most Wanted," "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?," "Bones," "Cops," "Family Guy," "House," "King of the Hill," "MADtv," "Prison Break," "The Simpsons," "Talk Show with Spike Feresten," "Til Death."
Newly Acquired:“Back to You,” “Canterbury’s Law,” “K-Ville,” “New Amsterdam,” The Return of Jezebel James,” The Rules for Starting Over,” “The Sarah Conner Chronicles,” various reality shows

The All-Stars:

“The Simpsons” & “Family Guy”

Players To Watch?:
Why bother? Fox is just going to go and cancel whatever show I start watching anyways. Why should I invest any time at all at this point? Fine, whatever. How about these?

-“Back to You”- Wow. Beast, I mean, Kelsey Grammer is back on TV. That may be almost enough luck for this one to stay out of range of Fox’s free-swinging axe for a while. Look what he did for “Frazier”, and that show sucked. Still, a quasi-behind the scenes show about TV will always have the tendency to draw me in, if only for a little while.

(Comedy, Wednesdays 8pm)The 90s, the local TV news scene in Pittsburgh was dominated by one team: Chuck Darling (Kelsey Grammer) and Kelly Carr (Patricia Heaton). They had that elusive quality all news teams need: chemistry ... at least on-screen. Off-screen, Chuck was a bit of an egomaniacal womanizer, Kelly a bit of an uptight know-it-all. So when Chuck got the call to move up to a larger market, no tears were shed. Now, after an embarrassing newscast tirade ends up on the Internet, Chuck finds himself on the downswing career-wise. He's even questioning whether his lifestyle of chasing women and living in hotels is as exciting as it used to be. So when he gets the call to return to Pittsburgh, to reunite with Kelly and try to take the newscast back to No. 1, it's an offer he can't refuse. Back in Pittsburgh, Chuck has a couple of new co-workers: Montana Diaz Herrera (Aimee Garcia), the perky, sexy, somewhat inept weather anchor, and Ryan Church(Paul Campbell), the overstressed news director. There are also familiar faces like Marsh McGinley (Fred Willard), the affable, endlessly inappropriate sports anchor, and Gary Crezyzewski, pronounced Kre-shoov-ski (Ty Burrell), the perennially put-upon field reporter who always seems to get left out in the snow. But, mostly, there's Kelly, now a single mom to 10-year-old Gracie (Laura Marano). There was magic between them once. Can they find it again?

- “New Amsterdam”- “Highlander” without the swords and other immortals? Maybe not, but I still heard Queen’s “Who wants to live forever?” as I read the show description. Meh. Worth a shot.

(Supernatural Drama, Tuesdays 8pm)The story of a New York homicide detective unlike any other. He is brilliant, mysterious, reckless, magnetic, unknowable. And he has a profound secret he is immortal. In 1642, John Amsterdam (Nikolaj Coster Waldau), then a Dutch solider in the colony of New Amsterdam later to become New York City stepped in front of a sword intended for a Native Indian girl during a massacre of her indigenous tribe. The girl in turn rescued Amsterdam, weaving an ancient spell that conferred immortality upon him. Amsterdam will not age, she told him, until he finds his one true love. Only then will he become whole and ready for mortality. But Amsterdam has found this to be a mixed blessing. Over the course of three centuries, he's experienced endless adventure and honed his many talents. But everyone Amsterdam meets must leave him in time; lovers and children die while he remains young. His sole confidante and lifelong friend is the sage jazz club owner Omar (Stephen Henderson), the keeper of Amsterdam's secret, as well as a few of his own. As the exhilaration of eternal life has given way to emotional isolation and bitter loneliness, Amsterdam discovers the blessing has become a curse. Having witnessed its entire history, from colonial outpost to mega-metropolis, John Amsterdam is the living embodiment of New York City. He and the island of Manhattan are now part and parcel of each other. Bringing to bear the unorthodox techniques and unique knowledge gained from his vast life experience, Amsterdam today is one of the NYPD's best homicide detectives, sparring with his vibrant, strong-willed partner Eva Marquez (Zuleikha Robinson) as they solve difficult murder cases. But when Amsterdam suffers and then recovers from what appears to be a massive heart attack while chasing a suspect, and Dr. Sara Dillane (Alexie Gilmore) pronounces him dead in the ER, he realizes that the Indian girl's prophesy may have come true he felt the pain in his heart that she had foretold so long ago. His soul mate must have been nearby.As he works to find a killer on the streets of New York, Amsterdam understands that his own life and possibly his death have changed forever. Alan Loeb produces and Lasse Hallstrom directs.

-“The Sarah Connor Chronicles”- This is gonna suck. Hard. Like 7 Dyson vacuums put together to form the ultimate sucking machine just this side of Jar Jar Binks. But Summer Glau is in it. Then again, that basis for support worked oh so well for Nathan Fillion and “Drive”.

(Sci-Fi Drama, Sundays 9pm)An intense new drama based on the celebrated heroine of the "Terminator" movies: Sarah Connor. At the end of "Terminator 2: Judgment Day," Sarah vanquished the liquid metal Terminator sent from the future to kill her teenage son, John. Sarah and John now find themselves alone in a very dangerous, complicated world. Fugitives from the law, they are confronted with the reality that still more enemies from the future, and the present, could attack at any moment. This reveals what happens when Sarah Connor (Lena Headey) stops running and goes on the offensive against an ever-evolving technological enemy bent on destroying her life, and perhaps the world. Her son, 15-year-old John Connor (Thomas Dekker), knows that he may be the future savior of mankind, but is not yet ready to take on the mantle of leadership that he's told is his destiny. John finds himself inextricably drawn to Cameron (Summer Glau), an enigmatic and otherworldly student at his high school, who soon proves to be much more than his confidante she assumes the role of Sarah and John's fearless protector. On their trail are not only threats from the future, but an intelligent and tough FBI agent, James Ellison (Richard T. Jones), who soon becomes a powerful ally. Owain Yeoman also stars. Josh Friedman and David Nutter produce.

-----

The Network’s Rotation: (Fox is making it as hard as possible)

AUGUST TO DECEMBER 2006:

MONDAY

8pm: "Prison Break"

9pm: "K-Ville"

TUESDAY
8pm: "New Amsterdam"

9pm: "House"

WEDNESDAY

8pm: "Back to You"

8:30pm: "'Til Death"

9pm: "Bones"

THURSDAY

8pm: "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?"

9pm: "Kitchen Nightmares"

FRIDAY

8pm: "The Search For The Next Great American Band"

9pm: "Nashville"

SATURDAY

8pm: "Cops"

9pm: "America's Most Wanted: America Strikes Back"

SUNDAY

7pm: "The OT" (NFL Post-Game)

8pm: "The Simpsons"

8:30pm: "King of the Hill"

9pm: "Family Guy"

9:30pm: "American Dad"

JANUARY TO MAY 2007:

MONDAY

8pm: "K-Ville"(Jan)/"Prison Break"(Mar)

9pm: "24"

TUESDAY

8pm: "American Idol"

9pm: "House"

WEDNESDAY

8pm: "Back to You"

8:30pm: "'Til Death"(Jan)/"The Return of Jezebel James"(Mar)

9pm: "American Idol"(Jan)/"American Idol Results Show"(Mar)

9:30pm: "American Idol"(Jan)/"'Til Death"(Mar)

THURSDAY

8pm: "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?"

9pm: "Canterbury's Law"

FRIDAY

8pm: "Bones"

9pm: "New Amsterdam"

SATURDAY

8pm: "Cops"

9pm: "America's Most Wanted: America Strikes Back"

SUNDAY

7pm: "King of the Hill"

7:30pm: "American Dad"

8pm: "The Simpsons"
8:30pm: "Family Guy"

9pm: "The Sarah Connor Chronicles"

----

Blah blah blah. It’s Fox and I’m pissy. That is all.

These Scrubs chafe

2007-05-17T22:01:00.000-04:00

I've always liked Scrubs. Hell, I even own season 1 on dvd and plan to get the next couple of seasons too. But I just haven't enjoyed the last few weeks. And tonight's season finale kinda helped prove my own disillusionment with J.D.

When did he become such a huge fucking douchebag?

I've always seen a little bit of myself in J.D. (here's a smidge), so I was really disheartened the past couple of episodes when I saw him just being such an asshole to Kim, the mother of his child. Then throw on a little more shit and have him possibly screw up two relationships royally at the same time with Elliot. Nice.

I dunno, maybe they're just running out of ideas and really trying to over-develop characters (while at the same time adding too much slapstick), and it's just not going how I'd like it to.

Whatever, it's just a show. It has no real connection to me other than the occasional moment or quote. It's not modeled after SBDA or a glimpse into the future or anything.

Now Knocked Up may be another story...

D

Preseason Roster Checks: CBS

2007-05-16T16:45:00.000-04:00

CBS. They’re teetering on the brink of complete elimination even before the season starts thanks to those jerkasses cancelling “Jericho.” If they’d have axed “How I Met Your Mother”, I’d have never turned back to the channel that once employed me. Lucky bastards. Alright, can’t change the past or bring back great shows that were killed before their time (R.I.P. Firefly, Angel, Committed, etc.); so let’s open our media guides to page 37 for the roster…

CBS's Fall 2007 TV Schedule
Who Got Cut:

"The Class," "Close to Home," "Jericho," "The King of Queens," "Smith," "Three Lbs.," "Waterfront."

Who Got Retained:
"48 Hours: Mystery," "60 Minutes," "The Amazing Race," "Cold Case," "Crime Time Saturday," "Criminal Minds," "C.S.I.," "C.S.I.: Miami," "C.S.I.: NY," "Ghost Whisperer," "How I Met Your Mother," "N.C.I.S.," "The New Adventures of Old Christine," "Numb3rs," "Rules of Engagement," "Survivor," "Two and a Half Men," "The Unit," "Without a Trace."

Newly Acquired:

“The Big Bang Theory,” “Cane,” “Kid Nation,” “Moonlight,” “Swingtown,” “Viva Laughlin,” “
The All-Stars:“How I Met Your Mother”

Players To Watch?:

-“Kid Nation”- I gotta see what happens when 40 kids fuck up royally and no one is around to help ‘em.

(Reality, Wednesdays 8pm)A reality-based series in which 40 kids will have 40 days to build a new world - in a ghost town that died in the 19th Century. These kids, ages 8-15, will spend more than a month without their parents or modern comforts in Bonanza City, N.M., attempting to do what their forefathers could not - build a town that works. They will cook their own meals, clean their own outhouses, haul their own water and even run their own businesses - including the old town saloon (root beer only). They'll also create a real government - four kid leaders who will guide the group through their adventure, pass laws and set bedtimes. Through it all, they'll cope with regular childhood emotions and situations: homesickness, peer pressure and the urge to break every rule they've ever known. At the end of each episode, all 40 kids will gather at an old fashioned Town Hall meeting where they will debate the issues facing Bonanza City. They'll show wisdom beyond their years and the unflinching candor that only kids can exhibit. There are no eliminations on KID NATION - you only go home if you want to. And in every Town Hall meeting, kids may raise their hands and leave. Will they stick it out? In the end, will these kids prove to adults everywhere (and their own parents!) that they have the vision to build a better world than the pioneers who came before them? And just as importantly, will they come together as a cohesive unit, or will they abandon all responsibility and succumb to the childhood temptations that lead to round-the-clock chaos? .

-“Moonlight”- Hmmm… a vampire investigator who helps the helpless. Something tells me I might like this one… God that reminds me of something… just can’t put my finger on it…

(Supernatural Drama, Fridays 9pm)Follows Mick St. John (Alex O'Loughlin) a captivating "undead" investigator who uses his acute vampire senses to help the living... instead of feeding on them. In an agonizing twist of fate, Mick was "bitten" 60 years ago by his new bride, the seductive and beguiling Coraline (Amber Valletta). Immortal and eternally as young, handsome and charismatic as he was then, Mick is sickened by Coraline and other vampires who view humans only as a source of nourishment. With only a handful of undead confidantes for company, including deceitful ally Josef (Rade Serbedzija), Mick fills his infinite days protecting the living, and trying not to think about how his life would have been if he hadn't followed his heart. However, after six decades of resisting, he wonders if it's time to pursue the love of a mortal. He has his eyes on Beth Turner (Shannon Lucio), a beautiful, ambitious reporter who has been covering the ongoing plague of unusual murders. But would Beth even consider giving up a normal life to be with him, and can Mick risk the pain of seeing himself as a monster in her eyes? As Mick lives between two realities, fighting his adversaries among the undead and falling in love with Beth, he knows he needs to figure out a reason to keep "living." Joel Silver produces.

----
The Network’s Rotation:
MONDAY

8pm: "How I Met Your Mother"

8:30pm: "The Big Bang Theory"

9pm: "Two and a Half Men"

9:30pm: "Rules of Engagement"

10pm: "C.S.I.: Miami"

TUESDAY

8pm: "N.C.I.S."

9pm: "The Unit"

10pm: "Cane"

WEDNESDAY

8pm: "Kid Nation"

9pm: "Criminal Minds"

10pm: "C.S.I.: NY"

THURSDAY

8pm: "Survivor"

9pm: "C.S.I.: Crime Scene Investigation"

10pm: "Without a Trace"

FRIDAY

8pm: "Ghost Whisperer"

9pm: "Moonlight"

10pm: "Numb3rs"

SATURDAY

8pm: "Crime Time Saturday"

10pm: "48 Hours: Mystery"

SUNDAY

7pm: "60 Minutes"

8pm: "Viva Laughlin"

9pm: "Cold Case"

10pm: "Shark"
----

Meh. CBS’ll probably more than hold their own this Fall as it seems there won’t be much stiff competition from NBC or ABC at this point. But let’s just wait and see how the show-killing network known as Fox shows out.

D

Preseason Roster Checks: ABC

2007-05-16T11:39:00.000-04:00

ABC is in the batter’s box with their line-up today. And it looks like they’re pretty much relying on “Lost” and the other crap they show to carry them since they didn’t bother to do a damned thing in the TV draft except getting a potential blue-chipper in “Cavemen.” But what do I know? I thought “Ugly Betty” wouldn’t make it through a full season. Now to the player introductions…

ABC's Fall 2007 TV Schedule
Who Got Cut:
"According to Jim," "Big Day," "Daybreak," "Extreme Makover," "The George Lopez Show," "The Great American Vote," "Help Me Help You," "In Case of Emergency," "The Knights of Prosperity," "The Nine," "Show Me the Money," "Six Degrees," "What About Brian."

Who Got Retained:
"America's Funniest Home Videos," "The Bachelor," "Boston Legal", "Brothers and Sisters," "Dancing with the Stars," "Desperate Housewives," "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," "Grey's Anatomy," "Jimmy Kimmel Live," "Lost," "Men in Trees," "Notes from the Underbelly," "October Road," "Supernanny," "Ugly Betty," "Wife Swap."

Newly Acquired:
“Big Shots,” “Carpoolers,” “Cashmere Mafia,” “Cavemen,” “Dirty Sexy Money,” “Eli Stone,” “Miss/Guided,” “Oprah’s Big Give,” “Private Practice,” “Pushing Daisies,” “Sam I Am,” “Women’s Murder Club.”

The All-Stars:
“Lost”

Players To Watch?:

-“Cavemen”- It’s cavemen. On TV. That’s pure TV gold right there. Well, at least for the first 3 or 4 episodes before its ratings start to go down the toilet. I have a sudden urge to buy Geico now.
(Comedy, Tuesdays 8pm)Over the last hundred thousand years, mankind has evolved from primitive creatures into the sophisticated beings we are today, with the exception of a small minority who unfortunately didn't physically evolve. Meet Lauren, his younger brother Jamie (Dash Mihok), and his best friend Nick (Nick Kroll), three sophisticated cavemen living in modern-day Atlanta. These cavemen continually find themselves at odds with contemporary society as they struggle to overcome their physical appearance and the accompanying stereotypes. Lauren is content with his life while pursuing the American dream, and has recently become engaged to Kate (Kaitlin Doubleday), a lovely Southern Caucasian girl. However, he must constantly vie for the respect of her conservative parents. Lauren's relationship with Kate and his personal contentment are constantly being put to the test by Nick and Jamie's emotional demands. Bill English, John Heard and Stephaanie Lemelin star.

-----
The Network’s Rotation:
MONDAY

8pm: "Dancing with the Stars"

9pm: "Sam I Am"

10pm: "The Bachelor"

TUESDAY

8pm: "Cavemen"

8:30pm: "Carpoolers"

9pm: "Dancing with the Stars Results"

10pm: "Boston Legal"

WEDNESDAY

8pm: "Pushing Daisies"

9pm: "Private Practice"

10pm: "Dirty Sexy Money"

THURSDAY

8pm: "Ugly Betty"

9pm: "Grey's Anatomy"

10pm: "Big Shots"

FRIDAY

8pm: "Men in Trees"

9pm: "Women's Murder Club"
10pm: "20/20"

SATURDAY

8pm: "Saturday Night College Football"

SUNDAY

7pm: "America's Funniest Home Videos"

8pm: "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition"

9pm: "Desperate Housewives "

10pm: "Brothers and Sisters"

----

Round 2 is finished, and already I’m not really liking the way things are looking for Fall. And by the way, where the hell is "Lost"? Do we have to wait even longer to get more questions and no answers? What the frak, man? Jesus!

Alright. Breathe deeply. In with the good, out with the bad...

We still have 2.5 more networks and possibly the cable/expansion teams, so I’ll have to exercise some of that “patience” crap people keep talking about. I'll get to unload on CBS soon enough for their retarded-ass mistake that I've already had the displeasure to hear.

Preseason Roster Checks: NBC

2007-05-15T16:47:00.000-04:00

The Fall TV season listings for all the networks should be out this week. Looks like NBC is trying to drum up some fan support with a preview of its line-up first. Let’s get to the player introductions…

NBC's Fall 2007 TV Schedule
Who Got Cut:
"20 Good Years," "Andy Barker PI," "The Black Donnellys," "Crossing Jordan", "Kidnapped," "Raines," "The Singles Table," "Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip."

Who Got Retained:

"30 Rock," "The Biggest Loser", "Dateline NBC," "Deal or No Deal", "E.R.," "Friday Night Lights," "Heroes," "Las Vegas," "Law and Order", "Law and Order: SVU", "Law and Order: Criminal Intent," "Medium," "My Name is Earl," "The Office," "Scrubs," "Sunday Night Football."

Newly Acquired:
“The Bionic Woman,” “Chuck,” “The I.T. Crowd,” “Journeyman,” “Life,” “Lipstick Jungle”

The All-Stars:
“Heroes,” “Scrubs”

Players To Watch?:

-“Chuck”- 2 words: Adam. Baldwin. Sorry, that really should have been 3 words: Adam. TheHeroOfCantonTheManTheyCallJayne. Baldwin.

(Comedy Spy Thriller, Tuesdays 9pm)Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi) is just your average computer-whiz next-door. He spends his days working for Buy-More with his band of nerdy cohorts, longing to find a woman who can appreciate him. But when an old friend, who happens to be a CIA agent, sends Chuck a mysterious encoded email, the world's greatest spy secrets are embedded into his brain. He never asked to become the government's most powerful weapon, but the fate of the country suddenly lies in his unlikely hands. Hopefully, this won't take away from his video game time! International terrorist plots, sexy spies and cold pizza – it's all in a day's work for our trusty hero...Chuck. Adam Baldwin, Joshua Gomez, Natalie Martinez, Sarah Lancaster and Yvonne Strzechowki also star. McG and Josh Schwartz executive produce.

-“The I.T. Crowd”- McHale is funny on E!’s “The Soup”, but this just makes me think of a combination of The 40 Year Old Virgin and Grandma’s Boy for some reason.

(Comedy, Mid-Season)You know those cool guys who charm the ladies, have tons of friends and get invited to the hottest parties? Roy (Joel McHale) and Moss (Richard Ayoade) are not those guys. A night of fun for these I.T. nerds means getting dressed to the nines for the latest iPhone webcast. But Jen (Jessica St. Clair), their new office manager, is going to change all that. Tech-savvy, she's not, but she knows how to win people over and get ahead. After living for years in oblivion, Roy and Moss hope Jen can help them get the recognition they so desperately long for. Rocky Carroll also stars.

-“Journeyman”- Um, time travel? Meh. Moon Bloodgood? Mmmmmm.

(Time-Travel Drama, Mondays 10pm)Dan Vassar (Kevin McKidd) thought he had it all: a loving wife (Gretchen Egolf), a great son (Charlie Wyson) and a steady job. But life suddenly throws him a curve ball. Dan finds himself traveling into the past with a purpose – impacting people's lives for the better – and sometimes the worse. While doing so, Dan reconnects with Livia Beale (Moon Bloodgood), his ex-fiancée whom he lost in a mysterious plane crash. Now armed with the knowledge of the present, will he be able to save her? What would that mean to his own future? And how would it change a man who thought he had it all?

-----
The Network’s Rotation:
MONDAY

8pm: "Deal or No Deal"

9pm: "Heroes"

10pm: "Journeyman"

TUESDAY

8pm: "The Biggest Loser"
9pm: "Chuck"

10pm: "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit"

WEDNESDAY

8pm: "Deal or No Deal"

9pm: "Bionic Woman"

10pm: "Life"THURSDAY

8pm: "My Name Is Earl"

8:30pm: "30 Rock"

9pm: "The Office"

9:30pm: "Scrubs"

10pm: "E.R."

FRIDAY

8pm: "1 vs. 100"

8:30pm: "The Singing Bee"

9pm: "Las Vegas"

10pm: "Friday Night Lights"

SATURDAY

8pm: "Dateline Saturday"

9pm: "Drama Series Encores"

SUNDAY

7pm: "Football Night In America" (Fall)

8pm: "Sunday Night Football" (Fall)

7pm: "Dateline NBC" (Spring)

8pm: "Law and Order" (Spring)

9pm: "Medium" (Spring)

10pm: "Lipstick Jungle" (Spring)

----

After the rest of the teams weigh in, I’ll compose my possible (and written completely in pencil) rotation for the Fall. You know, ‘cause I get off on this shit.

I need help.
D

Breaking the habit

2007-05-14T19:52:00.000-04:00

Hi. My name is Derek, and I'm an addict. Of sorts. Kinda?

I have got to get off the Xenadrine. I'm way too dependent on it for energy, and have built up a pretty good tolerance to it to boot. I've started taking more than the recommended dosage lately. So I don't even really know why I'm really taking it at this point. Because I'm hooked? Maybe.

I've been taking it (or something similar to it) for as long as I can remember, and haven't really cycled off of it like I should have. That pretty much screws up the effectiveness of it right there. The last time I went without was at the end of last month, and I had no energy whatsoever when doing anything. Not good. I need to be able function on my own, using it to give me a boost instead of keeping me going period.

So I guess that's it. I'm going cold turkey...as soon as this bottle's done.

Hey, not all 12 steps have to be big ones.

D

And I totally apologize if I offended any recovering addicts with that.

Funnier than a post it note

2007-05-13T20:46:00.000-04:00

Just checked my email and about busted a gut laughing at an email I received... from myself.

Apparently last night Jake played me to the bathroom with the theme to the Incredible Hulk TV show.

I guess such a momentous occasion on SBDA! really requires the foresight and effort to send myself a reminder that that particular moment actually did take place. Good move on my part though, 'cause I didn't remember that at all.

Ah, good to have that one back. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.

D

doo do do dooo...

Wireless

2007-05-12T13:32:00.000-04:00

Spent about a half hour on the phone with the Linksys tech support last night because the CD didn't automatically start up (or run at all) on my Mac.

Got it all worked out though. And now, here I sit, in front of the TV typing away. Sweet.

Now I just need to look into getting another power cord to go here in the living room so I don't have to keep moving the other one out of the bedroom.

All things considered, this is pretty awesome. I give it 2 Rammsteins.

D

Past Tense Look-a-like

2007-05-10T09:58:00.000-04:00

I was reading a friend’s blog when I had one of those self-actualization or realizations. Nothing major or life changing mind you, I just realized that there’s a striking visual similarity between myself and Curly from the 3 Stooges. Or, at least there used to be a whole lot more of one a few years ago when there was a whole lot more of me.

Exhibit A:

I don’t recall meeting those 2 fine gentlemen at Avant’s wedding. Then again, there’s a lot I don’t recall from Avant’s wedding.

Exhibit 2:

I finally get to see the “Bartender Cam” that everyone else gets to see on SBDA!

Damn. That sucks that I missed out on so many easy Halloween ideas. I spent all that time thinking of stuff to go as (Dr. Henry McCoy, a cheerleader, hammered), when all I had to do was get a little dressed up and have someone smack me on the head or poke me in the eyes and give ‘em a “Nyuk nyuk!”. Ah well, c'est la vie.

Still. That’s pretty creepy right there. But how come I never look like anyone cool? Oh wait, I already did that one.

D

Big, Dumb American: the bobblehead!

Bored bored bored

2007-05-09T19:59:00.000-04:00

Sitting here at the front desk until 10:00 sucks huge gentically enhanced super donkey balls. Seriously.

I'm missing Jericho (taping it) and will probably miss the first 10 minutes or so of Lost (again, taping it). And I missed another trip to the gym (the other being yesterday due to working a graduation). Add all that to the fact that I'm still pretty freakin' tired from 3 1/2 hours of refereeing a flag-football tournament, and Derek is kinda cranky. Go figure.

But at least I'm able to catch up on some quality interwebbing time. I found a couple of new blogs, checked out as much comics info as I can stand, perused the good ol' Southern Connection, and finished reading all the online graphic novels for Heroes.

And I've still got an hour and 45 minutes left. Frak!

So if you never see another post or hear from me again, it's because I've strangled myself with the phone cord. Hey, it's not like anybody's calling or anything.

D

One of the hardest lessons for men to learn:

2007-05-07T20:41:00.000-04:00

Reading the manual.

So the "change oil" light on the dash had been coming on for the past couple of months, but only for like 15 seconds after the car had been started. And yes, I did have the oil changed. I just figured that they didn't reset everything all he way, and I never had the time to have it checked out. And yes I did look through the manual to see if there was something that I could do about it myself. I just never saw anything.

So after I took Grimlock to have the oil changed last week, the light popped back on again. So I took it back a few days later when I actually had some time. The same guy who serviced it came out and sized up the situation.

"You check the manual?"

"Um, yeah. A couple of times."

"Huh. 'K. Can I see it?"

"Um, sure. Here."

Couple of flips through the book later and he turns the ignition to "run", presses the gas in and releases 3 times, the light flashes, Bob's your uncle, and it's reset.

"You missed a page."

"Hunh. Whaddaya know? (other than I'm a jackass.)"

"Yeah, just do that if it happens again."

"Uh, thanks man. I appreciate it."

"No problem (jackass)."

-----

Yet another little something that Dad forgot to teach me, despite the fact that the man drove race cars competitively both here in the States and over seas. Thanks, Dad. Way to turn your little boy into a man.

But on the plus side, the light went off again a day or so later and I felt some small sense of satisfaction at the fact that when I did it, it has remained off since. Until probably tomorrow morning when I start it up.

D

One problem solved...

2007-05-07T20:35:00.000-04:00

Check it out:

Bold
Italicized
Color!

All I had to do was take the simple suggestion from Chris and download Firefox so I can do more in Blogger than I could with Safari. Which, was really the only knock that I've come across with it so far. Oh well, can't win 'em all.

D

Tales of Dickery: Logan's Reverse

2007-05-03T22:05:00.000-04:00

This is one of the times that Dickery was assailed upon me. And it single-handedly ended one of my best runs of dickery ever. I still hold a little grudge against Logan for this one…

I’d had a good 2 year or more reign of dickery over Chris for his not inviting me to his wedding. I used that sparingly, only busting it out when it was truly called for. And one time at the Eagle Diner over breakfast with a group of friends and a visiting Chris; I felt it was a good time to use it once again. (God, I really am a dick.)

Chris was going on with one of his bachelor party/wedding stories while we're finishing up eating breakfast and I threw my little bit of dickery out there. Chris was just about to apologize for the umpteenth time, when out of no where Logan lets fly with:

“You know, it seems to me a good friend would have emailed or called him back and asked for all the specifics.”

I swear to God that you could almost hear the needle being pulled across the record, bringing the music and the conversation to a complete stop.

Chris, whose head had been hanging down, lifted his head and looked at me with eyes as wide as dinner plates.

Chris: “Fucking A. Thank you, Logan. Yeah, Derek why didn’t you ask?”

Me: “Aw, shit. Thanks a lot, Logan. You just ruined the one thing I had over Chris.”

Logan: “What? What’d I do?”

And from that point on I was never able to use that on Chris again. Oh, sure I tried it one more time a few months later just to see if it’d work again; but he shot me down and finished it with a “I have GOT to thank Logan for that.”

And thus concludes the two-parter of me not being a part of Chris’ big day.

*shaking fist* Logan!!!!!

D

Can I get a little water or something?

2007-05-03T21:04:00.000-04:00

Bit of a dry spell, blog-wise.

Was gonna write something about how I love Graduation because it creates a mass exodus that eliminates trafic and frees up precious bar space. But I think I've already written that. Twice.

Was gonna try and come up with a "You Know what I Hate?" list, but kept forgetting all the many, many things I hate. Loathe really. So maybe I'll just randomly post when I become infuriated by them. (Here's a little sample: You know what I hate? Douchebags that wear flip flops to the gym.)

And there were other things that I've started and stopped numerous times. And sadly, I think I may know part of the reason...

Caprica.

I save the majority of my Interwebbing for at night, so I don't play around at work as much. And by the time I get home, I've pretty much forgotten all the shit I wanted to blabber on about. I really have to find a new system. I feel like I'm depriving all 4.33 of you loyal readers.

Meh. Guess I could always offer up that long-awaited Tales of Dickery that Adubya's been craving. I mean, this is Logan's special weekend.

D

NBC pulling their collective heads out of their collective asses

2007-04-30T20:53:00.000-04:00

Studio 60 is returning to the network that spurned it in May.

http://www.g4tv.com/thefeed/blog/post/675096/Studio_60_Returns_To_NBC_In_May.html

Bout fucking time and I hope it sticks this time.

D

Skinned Elbows & Whacked Balls

2007-04-30T20:31:00.000-04:00

Hmmm... that sounded a little different in my head. Oh well.

Saturday was a busy busy day for the ol' Big, Dumb American: CPAT practice, quality time with Turner and then destroying far too many of the last remaining brain cells.

CPAT practice? Piece of cake again. Little slow during a few sections though, and that aggravated the shite outta me. But still, 2 weeks off and I blow through it? Awesome.

Turner and I had planned on going to see Hot Fuzz on Saurday, but of course Statesboro decided that would have been way too good a movie to show in the theater. And rather than waste a couple of hours and $6 (or however expensive a movie is now), we hit the ol' driving range. Man, my game is weak sauce. I haven't swung a club in damned near 2 years and it showed. Took me forever to get my swing back, and that came when I used Turner's clubs instead of my Flinstone clubs (they play like a rock tied to a stick). The highlight had to have been when my 7 iron died. Took a practice swing with it and the head came off. I thought that it would be fun to try and see how well it played when I put it back on. Not real shabby to be honest. Except that the head came off and then went farther than the ball. Dangerous? Yes. Funny? Shit yeah.

Saturday night.... hmmm... I got a whole lot of nothing. Started drinking bourbon while we watched Smokin' Aces. Then we went to the bar. Then I woke up the next morning. That's all I got.

So, that'd be Saturday. This coming Saturday could top it though: Cinco de Mayo and a possible Brennaman invasion. Oh and some Spider-Dude movie or something too.

D

Tonight's gonna suck.

2007-04-27T20:10:00.000-04:00

As a part of the sacrifices that I've been making for my hopeful future, I don't usually go out or do anything on Friday nights if I'm going to practice the CPAT the next morning. Not so bad really. Saves some cash and keeps the workouts more effective.

But tonight is the Brad Paisley concert about 250 yards or so away from my apartment. Add to that all the parties that will undoubtedly be going on afterwards and probably well into the wee hours of the morning, and it's probably gonna be hard to sleep.

"This one goes out to the guy trying to sleep back there..."

The usual cure would be to get pretty good and hammered so that I just pass out with no problems. But I don't want to suffer more than absolutely necessary when I run the course a couple of times in the morning. Plus driving an hour while still kinda lit is not the smartest thing to do.

So instead I'll just take a couple of Ambiens, turn up the rain machine, and go through the CPAT in my head over and over until I go under.

And I'll go extra heavy on the coffee in the morning to make sure I'm not still groggy from the drugs.

Yea.

D

Randomocity

2007-04-26T21:22:00.000-04:00

Whew! Been a while, huh? Yeah, I've been busy actually. What with a ton o' work, the gym, more work after work, and the general trying to learn Caprica's OS. Let me see if I can catch you up on a few things since last Friday...

Friday:
Accident Prone

Last Friday on the way home from the gym to the bar, I got hit again in the ol' rear. No damage at all, but irritating none the less. Some douchebag stopped right in the middle of a right turn on a green light to try and talk to some ho-bags (is that more or less PC than the regular "ho"?) in a car. So I hit the brakes, as did the hottie behind me. Trouble is, that she slid into me. She banged up her fron panel, but I had no damage luckily. We exchanged mutual obscenities in the direction of the douche, and then were on our ways.

Saturday:
Black and Blue and White... and Red

Ah, the first taste of GSU football was experienced by over 5,000 of the Eagle Nation on Saturday at the annual Blue-White Game. Plenty of friends, football, and beer. PLENTY o' beer. Got hammered, went to Moe's, went home, took a nap, got hammered again at home 'cause I was too tired to go out. Woke up Sunday with the usual post-tailgating bruises and sunburns. The one on my head is always the worst.

Sunday-Wednesday:
Same ol', same ol'.

Thursday:
Kids, Sort-of Indians, Rednecks, and hotdogs.

Had to work an event in Screven Co. that sucked ass and was a complete waste of my time. Too many slightly-older-than-baby kids who had no idea what a college is, a guy who looked like a retarded Daniel Boone who played the drums while talking to the kids about Indians, and a redneck Civil War re-enactor (wanna guess which side he was?) that shot off a musket about 20 times today all played a part in this colossal pain in my ass today. But I did get a couple of hotdogs out of it.

To Not Boldly Go Where I've Gone Before...

Yeah, so apparently while typing this I've discovered that I can't bold anything that I'm typing here in my posts. In fact, all I can do is post images and spell check. Neat-o.

And that ought to about do it. Was it good for you?

D

Orange and Maroon Effect Day

2007-04-20T19:08:00.000-04:00

iPod + gym= Awesome

2007-04-20T18:45:00.000-04:00

Having the Shuffle while at the gym was so much better than having to listen to the crap that was coming through Sirius today. But those within borrowing distance beware, I'm on the hunt for cd's that I can borrow to put into iTnes so I can adjust the playlist when I need too.

And yes, this little post is coming to you from the SBDA household. The bedroom (where the magic happens,) to be precise. That's because they had to install a new line for internet access, so I'll need to get a hold of a wireless router so I can sit in front of my beloved TV and still be on the interweb.

So now I have the internets at home. I'm sure I'll wear it, and the novelty of it, out shortly.

D

Yes!!!! and D'oh!

2007-04-19T18:00:00.000-04:00

After brief stops in China, Indianapolis, Memphis, and then parcel delivery limbo... I have my MacBook.

But no internet.

After running the majority of the system/computer registration last night, I tried to Splinter Cell my way onto the web via someone else's wireless. While I was able to pick up a good number of possible hot spots from the comfort of my couch, most were password protected and the one I could get to never really let me online. Although I did connect to a chick's Limewire Library, with all of her 500+ songs on there.

So instead I pretty much played around with it for a little while, making little adjustments and such. Which I'll just have to continue on with until sometime tomorrow when Northland hopefully comes to install my interweb connection. Or until I can hijack someone else's finally.

And another positive note: found out that I may be able to get a free copy of the Windows Suite for Caprica courtesy of work, so that I can work from home too. Suite, I mean, sweet.

D

Where's Caprica?

2007-04-17T17:13:00.000-04:00

Apparently in Memphis, TN according to the online FedEx tracking system.

She's supposed to be here by 12:00 noon tomorrow.

I'm taking Friday off, so hopefully I'll have plenty of time to play around with my new toys.

D

"You complete me"

2007-04-16T17:13:00.000-04:00

Is what my newly acquired iPod Shuffle (Soundwave) would be saying to my new MacBook if it arrived today as well. Instead it'll just have to be all sappy and start working whenever Caprica gets here.

And yes, I know that I could use iTunes on this computer to start with the uploading and what have you. I could, if this computer and web-filter didn't suck monkey ass and keep screwing up the page.

So now I have a shiny, tiny trinket to only look at for hopefully just another day or so.

D

Bad Reviews Dooming "Opera"

2007-04-16T17:08:00.001-04:00

Despite some of the kick-assery that Opera provides as a browser, there seem to be quite a few issues that are cropping up and seriously pissing me off big time. Like preventing me from writing a post about the newest addition to the SBDA family.

So I'm probably gonna be uninstalling Opera tomorrow morning and possibly handing the role to the understudy, Firefox. I've heard good things.

D

Hell Hath Frozen Over

2007-04-13T15:53:00.000-04:00

Check it out:

That’s right. That’s an order confirmation page. And the order is for my new MacBook and iPod Shuffle. Join me as I ring in the new year of 2005!

AND, almost as important as the fact that I finally joined the 21st century, is the fact that I saved $41.73 in the process too! Sweet.

The other night I mentioned to someone that there was a state employee discount for Apple, and they told me they thought there should be a student discount too. So today I checked; and sure enough, along with the student discount there’s a faculty/staff/administrative discount for my venerable institution as well. Huzzah!

So, ever the obsessive compulsive (I prefer “thorough”) shopper that I am, I went and did 2 separate shopping carts to see which discount was more effective. 1 had the state discount, and the other used the institution discount. Turns out that after the sales tax is added in, the latter was cheaper overall.

Now I have to sit and wait impatiently until my mechanical babies arrive via a big, brown stork. I guess while I’m waiting, I should probably go ahead and look into getting DSL or something at the hizzy. That way it’s more secure and I don’t have to mooch off neighbors’ wireless accounts. Much.

D

I’ve already gone and picked out names for ‘em too. I was thinkin’ “Soundwave” for the iPod and “Caprica” for the MacBook. You know, cool names so they won’t get beat up on the electric playground or anything.

Opera Man

2007-04-11T17:01:00.000-04:00

So I discovered Opera today. And not the “Phantom of the” or “Les Mis” variety. More like the “trying to find new ways to putz around on the web” opera. So, “Opera”.

I’m still trying to get used to all the little nuances that make it different from Internet Explorer; but for the most part, I like it. Especially the “speed dial” or little preview windows that you can have for your favorites. That’s just neat-o. Oh, and holy shit! (I just discovered it) The preview windows that pop up when you hover over the tabs. Bad. Ass.

And I think for now I’ll keep a little separation between work and play. The work stays on Explorer, but the play goes on Opera. At least until I either fully convert to Opera, or something disastrous happens and I renounce it completely.

Opera Man, a bye byyyyyyyyeeeeeeee!

D

Tighty Whitey

2007-04-09T17:03:00.000-04:00

I guess sometimes procrastinating pays off. Literally.

Got an email today about some of the state employee benefits/discounts that we get, and guess who just happened to be on the list of participants? Apple.

So there seems to be a small discount that’ll allow me to go and get the balls to the wall, loaded up MacBook for less than I would have spent on the more basic one that I probably would have gotten otherwise. Yippee.

Yet again, it seems that I’m inching closer and closer (however slowly) into the 20th century. And maybe I’ll use the savings to get an iPod Shuffle and just go ahead and completely fall face forward into 2005.

I estimate probably another week or so before I fully commit to everything...

D