Chandler: Oho! Very hot, very sexy. But, uh, ya know, she's too international, ya know. She's never gonna be around.
Rachel: So?
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds: Pick somebody who's gonna be in the country, like, all the time.
Rachel: Yeah, 'cause that's why you won't get Isabella Rossillini--geography.
So I spent part of the weekend trying to come up with my "Top 5" lists that a few others have graced us with. And I came to the realization: I can't do it. It's too hard and just not me. My "list" is constantly changing and evolving. Women make the list and are dismissed from it for random reasons: Looked really hot in movie/show or came off as brilliant in an interview or maybe she turned out to be trailor trash or would lose to my dog in a battle of wits. So it's kind of a spur-of-the-moment type thing.
But I'm running with a top 3 right now that I picked over the weekend. And these could change by next weekend (and probably will). But I can always justify sleeping with a celebrity not on my list with "Oh come on! It was (insert famous, hot chick name)! When the hell would I have the opportunity to sleep with her again?????? I mean, what are the odds? Based on numbers alone I had to."
Contestant # 1 comes to us from a little television show called "7th Heaven" and such feature films as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Blade: Trinity. She's always been on my list pretty much, but seeing Blade: Trinity this weekend reminded me of why. I mean her first scene in the subway when she throws off the smock to "go to work", I'm not gonna lie; I got turned on. A lot. Here she is, Contestant # 1: Jessica Biel
Contestant # B commandeered a spot on the list by appearing as the tight-outfit wearing, Werewolf hunting bad ass Selene in 2003's Underworld. Then she made sure I would notice her again in the "I'm still not 100% sure if I liked it or not" Van Helsing. I got no other reason right now than she's friggin' hot! Without further ado, here's Contestant # B: Kate Beckinsale
Oh man. My naughty parts are on fire. But I must finish!
Contestant # Trois (as in menage?) rounds out the running list. She comes to us from the University of Arizona where she won the NCAA Women’s College World Series, holds NCAA record for consecutive wins (60), and was a member of the 2004 Olympic Gold Medal Softball Team. She's also the reason that men are now giving a passing glance at Women's Softball and wondering why there's no chicks that look like # Trois playing softball in their county Rec League. And she was on the July 11th cover of Sports Illustrated. Sports fans (and everyone else), your Contestant # Trois: Jenny Finch
Ahhhhhh. There we go. My current "List". It is in no way, shape or form laminated. 'Cause it may change by tomorrow. There's no telling. But I may update it from time to time for you guys. But I'm spent right now and I think I'll leave you with a preview of my next column (hopefully):
D's Personal Ad.
I'm sure you're all tingling with anticipation. Me, I'm just tingling.
D
1 comment:
Gracias.
D
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