What!?!?

WWE wrestler Chris Benoit and family found dead
BY ALFONSO A. CASTILLO
alfonso.castillo@newsday.com

June 26, 2007, 1:02 PM EDT

Pro wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife and smothered his son before hanging himself in his weight room, a law enforcement official close to the investigation told The Associated Press Tuesday.

The official spoke on the condition of anonymity.

Authorities also said they are investigating whether steroids may have been a factor in the deaths of Benoit, his wife and their 7-year-old son who were found dead in an apparent murder-suicide.

Fayette County District Attorney Scott Ballard said test results may not be back for weeks or even months.

Autopsies were scheduled Tuesday by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation in DeKalb County.

Benoit, 40, was discovered dead in his home in suburban Atlanta by Fayetville police yesterday – a day after he no-showed two scheduled matches in Texas over the weekend, including at World Wrestling Entertainment's Vengeance pay per view event in Houston Sunday night. He cited a family emergency as the reason for skipping the shows.

After friends in WWE received several "curious text messages" from Benoit, and WWE officials were unable to reach him, the sheriff's department in Peachtree City, GA went to Benoit's home to check on his family about 2:30 p.m.

After maneuvering through two German shepherds that guarded the home, police found Benoit, his wife and child dead in three separate rooms in the home, according to WAGA-TV. The Wrestling Observer newsletter reported that Fayette County police are operating under the theory that Benoit killed his wife on Saturday, son Daniel on Sunday, and then killed himself yesterday.

ABC News reported that authorities had found "the instruments of death" at Benoit's home – a mansion surrounded by stone walls with a gravel road leading to double iron gates.

MSNBC has reported that a police press conference disclosing preliminary autopsy results is expected to take place this afternoon.

Fayette County District Attorney Scott Ballard told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that the details of the incident may "prove a little bizarre" when they come out.

WWE.com reported that, "The three bodies have been received by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation's crime lab, in Decatur, Ga., where autopsies will be performed Tuesday morning. Toxicology reports will not become available for at least two weeks."

WWE scrapped their schedule live, sold-out Monday Night RAW program in Corpus Cristy last night and sent fans home. In the show's place, WWE chairman Vince McMahon and the WWE announce team introduced a three-hour career retrospective that included several highlight's from Benoit's 22-year career, as well as emotional testimonials from fellow pro wrestlers.

McMahon reportedly broke the news around 4:30 p.m. yesterday to a locker room overcome with shock and grief. As news of authorities' suspicion that Benoit killed his wife and son came out, WWE scaled back their tribute to the former world champion on the WWE web site. The company is scheduled to hold its regular television tapings tonight.

Benoit, an Edmonton, Canada native, trained in Calgary and made his pro debut in 1985. He plied his trade in Japan for years before become a fixture on the American wrestling circuit in the mid-1990s. He joined WWE in 1999 and won the company's world heavyweight championship at Madison Square Garden at WrestleMania XX in 2004. He was widely expected to win the Extreme Championship Wrestling world title at Sunday's pay per view event.

Benoit became romantically involved with the then Nancy Sullivan, who worked as a pro wresting valet under the name "Woman," in the mid-1990's while she was married to another wrestler, Kevin Sullivan. The Pro Wrestling Torch newsletter said the marriage was known among wrestling circles to be volatile.

Benoit had two children from another relationship that were not in the home during the deaths.

The Associated Press contributed to this story.
Copyright 2007 Newsday Inc.
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I can’t help but think that somewhere, Eddie Guerrero is crying. And now they’ll never get to wrestle that one last, great match in Heaven.

D

Finally! Middleground has come back to... Statesboro.

Who better to to introduce a post about a grand old rock show than The Rock himself? Well, I'm sure there were far more suitable candidates that stride the halls of the Music Hall of Fame or even the aisles of your local Sam Goody. But I came up with The Rock. Deal with it.

As much as I'd like to relay the wonders of a Middleground & Elohsa show to those of you who've never seen 'em before... it's really not gonna happen. Mostly because I always get way too drunk at every one of 'em, and that tends to wreck the ol' recall. I usually just have to go with "Man, I don't remember a whole hell of a lot from the show. But I bet it was awesome."

So just take my word for it: bad-assedness was a plenty. And the kick-assery quotient of the 2, count 'em 2, sets Middleground played knew no bounds. For those of you who need visual proof and can't just take my word for it (what? my word not good enough for you? dick.), see the following taint-rocking pictures courtesy of the fine Administration at the IHT:






See? What'd I tell you? Fanfuckingtastic. See that girl there in the black? She's having an eargasm because the show was so damned good.

Wow. That just about did it. I got nothing to follow up after the whole "eargasm" bit. So um, if I've taught anybody anything, I hope that it's: Middleground=awesome. And eargasm=post ender.

D

I just couldn't find a way to work in the Honky Tonk Man like I did The Rock...

K9 to 5

Damnit! Totally didn't even know about this:

I feel cheated and a little dead inside knowing that somewhere, some asshole is getting to bring in his asshole dog to his asshole job and parade themselves around like the assholes they are to all of his asshole co-workers and their asshole dogs. And Brody's just sitting at home waiting for me to come home and play with him.

That sucks. That sucks hard.

D

You know what I hate?

I hate that when I have to “take a meeting” at work and there’s hardly anyone else on campus, and every bathroom still smells like someone’s gone and committed a crime against nature in there. Every, single, damned one.

So there I am, having to drop it like it’s hot, and I have to bounce from bathroom to bathroom all over freakin’ campus in order to find one that’s clean and quiet so I can go ahead and drown a water buffalo.

Gorram people. That’s why I prefer to do my best work at home.

D

Get your motor running…

Head out on the sidewalk!

Heh. The disabilities coordinator just got in a new scooter/wheel chair/object of my slacking desire:

She’s a beaut, Clark.

And she’ll haul some serious handicapped ass too. I had it cranked all the way to 11- displayed on the dash as a rabbit. I guess rabbits are like the 11 of the animal kingdom. That would put the cheetah at about a 37 or something I guess.

Anyhoo, as a service to her students, the disabilities coordinator needs to make sure that the battery won’t conk out on someone driving it on campus. So she has to have the battery worn down to dead before it can be re-charged. But it’s taking a while to wear that sucker down. A cause I have taken upon myself to champion. Granted, that’s not exactly the 13th labor of Hercules; but seriously, it can actually get kinda boring driving around a deserted campus after a while. I didn’t think it could, but frak me running (or riding) if it doesn’t.

So I’m gonna chip away at it. Every day I’ll take it out for a spin until I get bored, get in trouble or wear the damned thing out. Whichever comes first. Eventually, it’ll be spent; and I’m sure that I will be too. Tired of riding that thing with no one new to honk at or impress with my Andretti-esque scootering skills.

Man, you know it's bad when even the fun things at work start to get tedious and be a bit of a pain in the ass. Oh well, it's a living.

D

There goes my beer-o... watch it as it goes

*Sigh* First $100 power bill of the season. And it'll only go up just about every freakin' month for summer after this.

I've tried every damned thing I could think of to reduce the amount of power used, all to no avail. New weather stripping won't help because of a huge chunk of molding missing from the front door (need to yell at them again to come and fix that). And keeping the air up high during the day when I'm gone doesn't work and isn't fair to the dog.

So basically I'm hosed. I'll just have to cut way back on all the fun stuff. Or at least prioritize better.

*sigh* Goddamnit. Time to start re-thinking the whole roommate thing again...

D

Tales of Dickery: Wedding Crashers, SBDA Style (alcohol-free edition)

To reward you all for your patience while I've had a severe lack of both time and creativity, I present to you another issue of everyone's favorite: Tales (tales tales)... of (of of)... Dickery (ickery ickery)!!

And be sure to search "Dickery" within the blog to brush up on all that dickery goodness.

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I’ve mentioned Zeke, Lando and weddings before in previous Tales of Dickery; but this time we get an extra special treat and I combine all 3 for you.

Wedding Crashers: SBDA Style
Lando was getting married and was gracious enough to invite those of us in the office that he felt would actually come if he extended the invitation. That list included myself, Zeke, some coworkers, our boss, and our boss’ boss.

Zeke had already left the confines of the Deathstar to start work doing something a little less soul erasing in another town. So he made plans to drive up that day for the wedding and we’d just go together, since his wife couldn’t go and I didn’t even bother to try and find a date to this little shindig.

So we arrive a little early and go ahead and sign in. We’ve been in the church for all of 2 and a half minutes when Zeke starts with the shenanigans. He signs in on the guest register as “Zeke …., Esquire.” And then proceeds to sign me in a faux fashion as well.

After a groan from me, we pick up the program, and have a seat in the middle-to-back section. We’re there for about 3 minutes before Zeke lets out the first obscenity in church and proclaims “Fuck. I need a cigarette.”

We head outside, Zeke has a smoke, I have some tainted oxygen, we greet some other coworkers (and former coworkers), and then shoot the shit for a minute. We finally decide to head in and take our seats for the upcoming spectacle, but inadvertently cause one of those great situations where you come in a little late and everyone stops what they’re doing to turn and look at you as you enter. We smile some lighthearted and half-embarrased smiles, take our seats, and about a minute goes before the magical mystery tour begins.

Skip ahead a few 10 minutes or so and now the priest is well into his sermon about the joining of man and forehead, trust, cherishing and all that jazz when he gets to the pivotal portion. He’s going on and mentions something about this “inviting love” shared between Lando and the soon-to-be, Mrs. Lando Calrissian.

It’s at this point that Zeke turns to me and says... “Did he just say ‘in Viking love’?”

Now that's what I'm talking about!

How loud is a stifled laugh that mostly comes through your nose in a quiet, crowded church? Pretty fucking loud. Loud enough for just about everyone to turn and look at you in the middle of someone’s biggest day.

I wish I could say that it ended with that. But it didn’t because Zeke wouldn’t let it. I had him next to me acting out little scenes of Vikings in love and asking numerous ill begotten questions about said Vikings and their love lives. And I kept laughing. And if you’ve ever tried really hard not to laugh at something, then you know just how much funnier it gets and how hard it is to hold it in.

So I grabbed a pencil from the holder in front of me and I jabbed it into my hand. At that point, the stifled laughs were replaced by a muffled cry of pain. And I kept grinding the pencil into my hand so that I wouldn’t laugh. It kinda worked. There became a mixture of laughing at viking-love humor and wimpering as I introduced lead into my bloodstream forcefully. And a few tears, but I'm not sure if those were from the jokes or the pencil.

So there’s Zeke and I laughing and trying not to laugh; with Lando’s family, friends, co-workers, boss, boss’ boss all getting irritated with us and giving us the evil eye. Which of course made it even funnier.

Finally, Lando and Forehead say okey dokey, and Zeke and I haul ass out of the church into the parking lot to let out all the stifled laughter that had been welling up in us throughout the ceremony. After those good times, I thought it was gonna be relatively downhill from there.

But then the reception happened.

Now despite that awesome bit of segueing, I won’t realy go into the reception portion of it as I’m still furious that there was no booze whatsoever and I’m still trying to block the memory of a sober reception. If he'd like, I’ll let Zeke tell that as a special addendum (hint hint). I went on a tear about there being no booze and only some God-awful sparkling cider, and he got to go on a tirade about Australians all living on a penal colony (heh heh) and call a former boss’ husband (we’ll call him Nigel), a "fucking convict".
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I know, I know. That one kinda ended abruptly and without the huge payoff you were hoping for, kinda like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. But I ran outta steam. Sorry.

And so ends another Tale of Dickery. This time I actually got to go to someone’s wedding, and then I went and tarnished the shit out of it. Figures. Maybe that’s why I don’t get invited to more of them.

D

It's "traditional" not "plain"

Anybody seen this?

Sports Illustrated's "College Football's Best Uniforms"

And check out who's in the #8 slot:

#85 Teddy Craft- just about the best representative Eagle you could ask for.

I really don't see how fucking Wofford could be ahead of us. Doesn't 6 National Championships warrant a trading of the spots? I think it does.



D

I wouldn't even have to say it anymore

I must have this shirt.

Found it over at ThinkGeek.com via Jake.

That's so frakkin' me.

D

Nuts to you, CBS!

This was supposed to be posted late last week, but stuff came up and I never got around to it. So consider it a retroactive treat.

Looks like the fans of CBS’ “Jericho” accomplished what fans of “Firefly” and other ill-fated and prematurely cancelled shows couldn’t do: they won back their show.

Well, only 7 episodes that will be aired mid-season next year; but still that’s 7 more episodes to help either wrap the series up after the 1st season cliff-hanger ending or try and parlay that into a full second season if the audience and viewership grows significantly.

And how’d all those Jericholics help get their point across to The Eye? They took up donations to send over 20 tons (that’s about 8 million) peanuts to both the Los Angeles and New York branch offices for CBS. Below is the letter that CBS Entertainment President Nina Tassler posted on the show’s official message board. Take notice of the very last line.

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"Wow! Over the past few weeks you have put forth an impressive and probably unprecedented display of passion in support of a prime time television series. You got our attention; your emails and collective voice have been heard.

As a result, CBS has ordered seven episodes of "Jericho" for mid-season next year. In success, there is the potential for more. But, for there to be more "Jericho," we will need more viewers.

A loyal and passionate community has clearly formed around the show. But that community needs to grow. It needs to grow on the CBS Television Network, as well as on the many digital platforms where we make the show available.

We will count on you to rally around the show, to recruit new viewers with the same grass-roots energy, intensity and volume you have displayed in recent weeks.

At this time, I cannot tell you the specific date or time period that "Jericho" will return to our schedule. However, in the interim, we are working on several initiatives to help introduce the show to new audiences. This includes re-broadcasting "Jericho" on CBS this summer, streaming episodes and clips from these episodes across the CBS Audience Network (online), releasing the first season DVD on September 25 and continuing the story of Jericho in the digital world until the new episodes return. We will let you know specifics when we have them so you can pass them on.

On behalf of everyone at CBS, thank you for expressing your support of "Jericho" in such an extraordinary manner. Your protest was creative, sustained and very thoughtful and respectful in tone. You made a difference. P.S. Please stop sending us nuts."
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“Please stop sending us nuts.” Ha! Classic.

Well, even if it is only for a mere 7 episodes, it’s enough to finish what they started and maybe they can steamroll it into an awesome ending like they were able to do with “Angel.” Alright, maybe not that awesome an ending, but gimme something. Hell, I’d be happy with just seeing Robert use that damned tank somehow.

D

Yata!

I passed both of 'em!!

Thanks for all your words of encouragement. I never once heard anyone (even off the Interweb) who said anything discouraging. And I'd like to think that you all helped me out a little bit while I was there too.

I tried gathering all the good karma that I'd been trying to amass, kinda like a DBZ spirit bomb, just trying to get as much good luck/karma/help/insurance as I could on my side.

And it paid off.

So again, thanks. But I still have a long road to go before I even get a spot in the next class and then hopefully on after that. But for now, I'm satisfied with my performance. Not happy, but satisfied.

D

Wish me luck

I'm headed out to take my tests.

D

Out of left field

I once told someone that half the Internet was for fabricating and squashing rumors and the other half is porn. Well apparently there’s the tiniest smidgen of space that’s reserved for stumbling upon old, school chums. And I don’t mean MySpace.

How odd is it that someone I went to 6th grade with finds me again after about 15 years through SBDA of all ways? Pretty damned if you’re in my shoes. But then again, when you think about it, it’s actually rather apropos. I mean, that’s what the show is all about now isn’t it? Shaking things up for the BDA and watching how he reacts? Look at how the ratings soared when they brought The Icon back for that season in the office (the season of “The Disgruntled Duo”), or any of the Tales of Dickery that have been visited upon me.

So anyways, now we’re playing catch up; and I’m getting the biggest kick out of hearing him tell me about his Uncanny X-Men and Ninja Gaiden-induced flashbacks that led to him Googling me (after all these years and countless jokes, that still sounds dirty). And weirder than his flashbacks, are my own recent honest-to-God flashbacks and wonderings of what he was up to. Nearly every time I thought of The Joker, I thought of Luke. Hey, I did say it was weird.

Who knew that there could actually be some productive aspects of the Interweb that doesn’t require the giving of your credit card number or submitting A/S/L? Not me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to fabricating rumors about people, squashing the ones about me, and looking for more porn.

D

May I borrow a cup of Pantera?

Getting pretty tired of the songs I have on my Shuffle. 5 to 6 days a week with the same songs over and over gets pretty old. Kinda reminds me of commercial radio.

I need some new blood because I’m tired of skipping over the same old songs in favor of listening to the other same old songs that are getting me less and less psyched. Barney would not be pleased.

So anybody with gym-quality iTunes or CDs, look out. I’m coming for you. Well, your music really. But still, I’ll be coming. And you won’t know it’s me, ‘cause I’ll be disguised. Or not. I haven’t really worked that bit out yet. But I could be!

D

Don't mind me. Just a run of the mill tree here. Not here to steal your music whatsoever.

The Big, Dumb American gets Knocked Up

First, let me get this out of the way: I’m no reviewer. With that said, I’m gonna throw a few thoughts against the wall and see what sticks…

Went and saw “Knocked Up” this past Saturday, and it was pretty good. It didn’t knock my socks off like I was hoping it would; but really, what movie does these days? Oh, and that “knock my socks off” was purely unintentional.

What with this being a Judd Apatow movie, you’d expect it to just be hi-frickin-larious throughout, but it’s not. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a God-awful amount of humor in there; it’s just that Apatow actually writes and, more importantly, develops a real relationship between the main characters (and supporting as well). One that seems like it was ripped right from your or your buddy’s life. So you’re pretty well invested in the whole movie.

Here’s an example:
Every “relationship” movie has the inevitable fight that leads to some sort of reconciliation between the couple (not always guaranteeing them getting back together mind you). But most of those movies have stupid fights based on retarded premises. Not in “Knocked Up”. This fight is one of those knock-down, drag-out, slobber-knockers of a fight that everyone who has ever been in a real relationship has gone through. So even if you start to feel slightly disconnected from the main characters, that will pull you right back in to them.

Speaking of the characters: Seth Rogen as “Ben”, the ne’er do well semi-everyman, is pretty much spot on. And Katherine Heigl as "Allison", that girl that’s just out of your league, but you think you’d be perfect together if she would just slum it just once, is on the money too. The sister and brother-in-law (who doesn't love Paul Rudd?) are a little harder to buy into, but still pretty credible because of their own, involved relationship.

I don’t want to go into too much more of the movie, so as to not spoil anything for those who haven’t seen it yet, but it’s safe to say that it’s much, much more than a relationship movie or even a guy movie or chick flick. Apatow does a great job of taking plenty of real-life experiences and shining them up for Hollywood, but still retaining what makes them real and connects to the audience. And that’s something that you just don’t see a lot now outside of smaller, indy movies.

And at 133 minutes or so, you’re definitely getting your money’s worth.

There. I tried reviewing a movie.

D

Rain rain go away, come again another day

Damn.

It's Saturday and I just woke up to a little bit of rain. I was supposed to go practice this morning, but I don't know if they'll have it when it's raining or not. I want to say they would since you know, they don't just fight fires during optimum weather. But I just don't see it happening with some of the equipment that they use, most notably the stair climber and the forcable entry pad, being machines and electronic. And I don't want to go down and not practice the whole thing like I need to.

And I damned sure don't want to drive 2 hours just to use the $5 off coupon I have for dog food at Petsmart.

Maybe I can see if I can take off a little early on Tuesday to hit the last practiced offered.

I dunno. Frak it. I'm going back to bed.

D

'Tis better to give AND receive or: Why Captain America hates Nazis

I gave blood. Did you?

Give:
-double red blood cells to the American Red Cross

Receive:
-a free t-shirt
-2 hours off work
-free cookies and juice
-free hotdogs and hamburgers for lunch
-a sense of accomplishment that you were able to sit there for an hour or more with a friggin’ needle in your arm, knowing that it’s worth it if it helps save someone’s life.

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When you’re sitting there pumping your fist every 5 seconds or so, your mind has a tendency to wander. Blame it on the sudden loss of blood; but when they pumped the cold plasma back into my arm, I started wondering if that’s how Steve Rogers felt when he received the Super Soldier Serum. Then I felt a little sad for him when I realized that while he did gain super human strength, stamina, agility, etc; poor Steve never got any juice and cookies. No wonder Cap hates Nazis so much: that spy kept him from getting his orange-pineapple juice and sugar free lemon cookies.

Damned Nazis spies.

D