Tales of Dickery: Chris' Wedding

Something's missing...

Everybody’s favorite Nerduary wrangler, Chris, got married a few years back; and not too long before the nuptials, I made contact with the groom-to-be after a far too long period of non communication.

I emailed him after stumbling across his email address, and in his reply email he blurted out an invitation to the wedding:
“Dude, I’m getting married! You should come!”

Now, hindsight is always 20/20 (unless I’ve been drinking in which case it’s not even close to that) and I suppose that I should have gotten back to him with something like “Cool! When and where? I’ll be there!” But silly me, for some reason I thought that he’d send me the info as to insure that I’d be there for one of the best days in his life (that I was not a part of thank you very much).

But no. No further email, no time or date of the ceremony, no invite to the bachelor party or reception. Nada.

A couple of weeks go by and I see Chris and he’s all like “Oh, man I just got married. You should have been there!”

“I would have been but you never bothered to tell me when and where.” I said.

His face just went blank and he pitifully said “Oh, dude. I’m so sorry.”

And thus began my 2 year plus reign of dickery over Chris for not inviting me to the wedding. I’d do things like email him one of his own wedding pictures and ask him what was wrong with the picture or missing from it, only to inform him that it was me being absent or not being there at all. I asked him if he minded if I got Jake to Photoshop me into a few of the wedding photos. I would laugh at some of the stories that he told about the wedding day in front of people and then go, “Oh, wait. I wasn’t there. You forgot to invite me.” And on and on and on.

I thought about Photoshopping myself into this one...

And life was good. Finally, I had something that I could hold over his head and stop some rants and tirades in mid-sentence. I was never really a dick to Chris, after all he’s one of my best buds. But when I wanted/needed to be, I had the best way to get to him.

And it would still be that way if it were not for that damned Logan…

D