Yay! A trip to the doctor is always fun. Buuuuuuut, it was about time I had another battery of tests of the physical nature.
Turns out that yours semi-truly is healthy as a sasquatch.
Good, low blood pressure, weight about right, breathing was "very good" and everything else was fine. Sweet.
Only little bit o' fun was the "Do you drink?" portion of it.
"Do you drink?"
"Yes."
"About how often?"
"Well, only on the weekends really."
"Ok. And about how much on the weekends?"
"Which day?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Well, you know, it kinda depends on the day as to how much I might drink."
"Hmmm...Well, any given day. About a six pack?"
"Ummm..."
"About a twelve pack?"
"Weeeell.... ummmmmm...."
"I see..."
"Yeah..."
"And you know that's not exactly the wisest choice?"
"Yes sir. But I assure you it's under control."
And then back and forth banter about family history of alcoholism versus it being football season. Good times.
So, other than that humorous exchange, I'm all set to keep up with the training for the hopeful new jorb.
And despite me having a pretty high thresh-hold for pain, the tetanus shot did hurt like a little son of a bitch.
D
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Just Because...
Sam's in the news again, but this time for something positive, I had to re-post the ever-popular "not so accurate" quote from Sam after He Who Shall Not Be Named left.
D
“I’m as fucking surprised as you guys are!”- Sam Baker, A.D.
D
Feasibility
Wow. About damned time. (and not just for a post from me)
Time to start restructuring the ol' checkbook so I can contribute more to Southern Boosters and let them know why I'm doing it. You know, because the administration is showing some initiative.
D
Time to start restructuring the ol' checkbook so I can contribute more to Southern Boosters and let them know why I'm doing it. You know, because the administration is showing some initiative.
D
"I wasn't sure what 'Division One' meant to him. But I knew what 'One' meant to me - Georgia, Notre Dame, Southern California - all those kind of folks."
- Coach Erk Russell
- Coach Erk Russell
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Turkey Day
Happy Thanksgiving from Gobbles the Wonder Turkey and the rest of the Screw Big, Dumb American crew.... so um, you know, me.
Gobble gobble.
D
Thursday, November 15, 2007
I'm not an asshole... am I?
When I have to be "on" all day long at work, and I'm just mentally drained at the end of it all; is it any wonder that all I really want is to either go to the gym or go running to feel as physically tired as I am mentally? By myself?
So when I get calls or texts to hang out and drink beer after work, I have a hard time accepting the invitations because I need to decompress or whatever.
Does that make me an asshole in some peoples' eyes because I'm not dropping my routine to go hang out? Or does everyone pretty much know that I'm doing what I need to in order to stay sane long enough to eventually see them on the weekend?
I'm hoping that everyone knows me well enough by now to know that any other time I'd love to have a beer or 18 and shoot the shite, but not in the early evening during the week. That's my quality me time.
That doesn't mean I don't appreciate the invitations, because I really do. I'm probably just not gonna accept them right away, or at least until I hopefully have a new job that will allow me to do what I need to during the day and then hang out at night.
So I guess cross your fingers for me to get that new job soon, then everyone wins. Or something.
D
So when I get calls or texts to hang out and drink beer after work, I have a hard time accepting the invitations because I need to decompress or whatever.
Does that make me an asshole in some peoples' eyes because I'm not dropping my routine to go hang out? Or does everyone pretty much know that I'm doing what I need to in order to stay sane long enough to eventually see them on the weekend?
I'm hoping that everyone knows me well enough by now to know that any other time I'd love to have a beer or 18 and shoot the shite, but not in the early evening during the week. That's my quality me time.
That doesn't mean I don't appreciate the invitations, because I really do. I'm probably just not gonna accept them right away, or at least until I hopefully have a new job that will allow me to do what I need to during the day and then hang out at night.
So I guess cross your fingers for me to get that new job soon, then everyone wins. Or something.
D
Monday, November 12, 2007
Tales of Dickery: Me Versus the Sink
Ah, time for an all new, all different Tales of Dickery! I figure that I owe you guys what with the absence and all. But I think we're all square after this gem. And it's fresh too! Happened just last week.
Tales of Dickery: Me Versus the Sink
And now the score sits at an even Derek: 1 / Sinks of the World: 1.
Last week I was out at a work function, dressed all nice as I'm s'posed to be. A few cups of coffee and a bottle of water later, and Derek needs to visit the el bano.
Everything comes out well and it's time to wash the hands; 'cause hey, I'm all hygienic and shit. Up until now, I've never met a malicious sink before. But lay eyes upon the first:
Normally, when you push a button or turn a knob on a sink, water flows in a downward direction allowing you to rinse your hands, lather them up with soap and then rinse them off. Normally. But not this one. This evil fixture of fuckitude shoots out it's spray like a spitting cobra, but right at your crotch instead of your eyes. Check out the carnage:
Obviously I can't just stroll back out and keep plugging along, I have to rectify the situation. So now I'm forced to stand in the bathroom and further humiliate myself by blowing on my crotch and rubbing it vigorously with a paper towel like I'm cleaning up an even dirtier mess. Jeez, I can smell the bad fanfic from here.
And of course I can't possibly get away with no one seeing me in my vulnerable state. That just doesn't happen to me. So a guy strolled in and he caught me out of the corner of his eye, prompting one of those great double takes because he's not entirely sure that they saw exactly what he did. You know, 'cause he didn't expect to see someone sort of rubbing one out in the bathroom that isn't of the interstate rest stop variety.
"Don't use the sink 'cause it makes you wet! I mean, um, the sink, it sprays your crotch instead of your hands. Like this. (points to crotch) ... Um, yeah... just be careful. Yeah."
Smooth.
And despite my attempts at warning the other unsuspecting potential victims of that aquatic crotch assassin, it struck several more times. And of course it was funny. Because it's always funnier when it's not me. BUT, this is a SBDA Tale of Dickery, so it's even funnier because it is me. At least to you guys.
D
Tales of Dickery: Me Versus the Sink
And now the score sits at an even Derek: 1 / Sinks of the World: 1.
Last week I was out at a work function, dressed all nice as I'm s'posed to be. A few cups of coffee and a bottle of water later, and Derek needs to visit the el bano.
Everything comes out well and it's time to wash the hands; 'cause hey, I'm all hygienic and shit. Up until now, I've never met a malicious sink before. But lay eyes upon the first:
When you push the button on the other side, a boxing glove comes out and punches you in the groin.
Normally, when you push a button or turn a knob on a sink, water flows in a downward direction allowing you to rinse your hands, lather them up with soap and then rinse them off. Normally. But not this one. This evil fixture of fuckitude shoots out it's spray like a spitting cobra, but right at your crotch instead of your eyes. Check out the carnage:
Technically, I guess I did have an accident.
Obviously I can't just stroll back out and keep plugging along, I have to rectify the situation. So now I'm forced to stand in the bathroom and further humiliate myself by blowing on my crotch and rubbing it vigorously with a paper towel like I'm cleaning up an even dirtier mess. Jeez, I can smell the bad fanfic from here.
And of course I can't possibly get away with no one seeing me in my vulnerable state. That just doesn't happen to me. So a guy strolled in and he caught me out of the corner of his eye, prompting one of those great double takes because he's not entirely sure that they saw exactly what he did. You know, 'cause he didn't expect to see someone sort of rubbing one out in the bathroom that isn't of the interstate rest stop variety.
"Don't use the sink 'cause it makes you wet! I mean, um, the sink, it sprays your crotch instead of your hands. Like this. (points to crotch) ... Um, yeah... just be careful. Yeah."
Smooth.
And despite my attempts at warning the other unsuspecting potential victims of that aquatic crotch assassin, it struck several more times. And of course it was funny. Because it's always funnier when it's not me. BUT, this is a SBDA Tale of Dickery, so it's even funnier because it is me. At least to you guys.
D
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Not exactly nepotism, but close...
Bionic Woman is starting to circle the drain, but I've at least started to make a game out of watching it.
The game runs along the lines of "spot the wrestler" in Beyond the Mat. Except now I play "spot the Battlestar Galactica actors."
So far, I can think of 4 that I've seen David Eick put on there. Starbuck, Chief Tyrol, Leobon Conoy, and Romo Lampkin. That's pretty impressive for only being 6 episodes into the season. I guess Eick has to find work for his Galactica people somehow since they like to take damned near forever in between seasons.
So I guess I'll be keeping a sort of running tally of guest appearances, if only in my head. Or maybe just a brief blurb when I find another "Waldo."
Until then, "So say we all."
D
The game runs along the lines of "spot the wrestler" in Beyond the Mat. Except now I play "spot the Battlestar Galactica actors."
So far, I can think of 4 that I've seen David Eick put on there. Starbuck, Chief Tyrol, Leobon Conoy, and Romo Lampkin. That's pretty impressive for only being 6 episodes into the season. I guess Eick has to find work for his Galactica people somehow since they like to take damned near forever in between seasons.
So I guess I'll be keeping a sort of running tally of guest appearances, if only in my head. Or maybe just a brief blurb when I find another "Waldo."
Until then, "So say we all."
D
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Brutal Honesty
Oooh ouch. That's gotta sting. A lot.
I'm a little bit behind on my Sports Illustrated reading. About 2 weeks worth really. But yesterday I was flipping through the NBA preview and ran across probably the most brutal ass scouting report of a team ever. And of course it was the Atlanta Hawks.
Now, I usually don't give two shits about the NBA (college ball is 1,000 times better), but I do follow the Hawks into their yearly decline into playoff irrelevancy and obscurity. So of course I wanted to see how "meh" my team is gonna be this year.
They had an anonymous opposing team's scout evaluate them, and I expected something about them still being a very green team with some good upside to come once they gel and mature or whatever. What I got was this:
"This team is so bad that you can tell who's taking the first shot simply by whoever gets the ball in his hands first.... Where do we begin with Josh Smith? He'll dunk it three straight times, and then the next time down he'll want to see if he can get the three-point shot working, so he'll throw one up out of the flow, clank. Or he'll make some stupid pass into the third row. Or he'll jump in the air and throw it at someone's knees.... Al Horford has a better chance of being a successful pro than Smith or either Marvin Williams or Shelden Williams. He knows what he is, and he sticks with that.... Marvin Williams thinks he's a jump shooter, but he doesn't make jump shots, and he thinks he's a ball handler, but he's not quick enough to get by people, so he'll run into them and get called for a charge.... They don't have leadership at point guard. Speedy Claxton is in decline- he may have to change his name. Acie Law is a ball-control guy, and he defends. We'll have to see if he's capable of making plays for the rest of them... Jeez, I mean, they just flat out suck."
Well, OK, I made that last one up. But I totally expected them to end with something like that. It certainly seemed like they were headed that way.
So, join me as I follow the Hawks throughout their hunt for .500 this season, and the constant hope that I might get to see some of the A-Town Dancers on TV every once in a while.
D
Mmmmm.... Leslie....*drool*
Briana? More like "Bri-hot-na". (sorry)
I'm a little bit behind on my Sports Illustrated reading. About 2 weeks worth really. But yesterday I was flipping through the NBA preview and ran across probably the most brutal ass scouting report of a team ever. And of course it was the Atlanta Hawks.
Now, I usually don't give two shits about the NBA (college ball is 1,000 times better), but I do follow the Hawks into their yearly decline into playoff irrelevancy and obscurity. So of course I wanted to see how "meh" my team is gonna be this year.
They had an anonymous opposing team's scout evaluate them, and I expected something about them still being a very green team with some good upside to come once they gel and mature or whatever. What I got was this:
"This team is so bad that you can tell who's taking the first shot simply by whoever gets the ball in his hands first.... Where do we begin with Josh Smith? He'll dunk it three straight times, and then the next time down he'll want to see if he can get the three-point shot working, so he'll throw one up out of the flow, clank. Or he'll make some stupid pass into the third row. Or he'll jump in the air and throw it at someone's knees.... Al Horford has a better chance of being a successful pro than Smith or either Marvin Williams or Shelden Williams. He knows what he is, and he sticks with that.... Marvin Williams thinks he's a jump shooter, but he doesn't make jump shots, and he thinks he's a ball handler, but he's not quick enough to get by people, so he'll run into them and get called for a charge.... They don't have leadership at point guard. Speedy Claxton is in decline- he may have to change his name. Acie Law is a ball-control guy, and he defends. We'll have to see if he's capable of making plays for the rest of them... Jeez, I mean, they just flat out suck."
Well, OK, I made that last one up. But I totally expected them to end with something like that. It certainly seemed like they were headed that way.
So, join me as I follow the Hawks throughout their hunt for .500 this season, and the constant hope that I might get to see some of the A-Town Dancers on TV every once in a while.
D
Mmmmm.... Leslie....*drool*
Briana? More like "Bri-hot-na". (sorry)
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Bill Gates responsible for Judgement Day
Had a brief training session on Microsoft Office 07 today. And I realized that some day soon I'll need to bring a weapon to work and ask for cover fire when I need to make copies.
According to our trainer, Office's new document type, .docx, is built off XML. Also according to said trainer, XML will take over the world soon. At which point I raised my hand and asked if this would lead to Skynet, the rise of the machines and the downfall of man... to many (expected) bewildered looks. But it was totally worth it. I spent the next few minutes zoned out to what was going on, and imagining leading my rag-tag group of surviving coworkers down the hallway to the break room; dodging and ducking from endoskeletons and ground tanks.
Ah, good training session.
D
"I gotta get through that to get to the bathroom? Fuck it. I'll pee my pants."
According to our trainer, Office's new document type, .docx, is built off XML. Also according to said trainer, XML will take over the world soon. At which point I raised my hand and asked if this would lead to Skynet, the rise of the machines and the downfall of man... to many (expected) bewildered looks. But it was totally worth it. I spent the next few minutes zoned out to what was going on, and imagining leading my rag-tag group of surviving coworkers down the hallway to the break room; dodging and ducking from endoskeletons and ground tanks.
Ah, good training session.
D
Monday, November 05, 2007
Insert Witty Banter Here
Well hellooooo.
Sorry for the overly long, and possibly overly dramatic, absence from the blog-o-sphere. All is well, or at least as well as it can be considering my last post. But a return to normalcy is probably the soup du jour. And you know what that means!!! That's right: intermittent and random-ass posting where I bemuse, belittle, berate, befuddle and a whole bunch of other b-words everything and everyone that I can think of or that others can think of for me.
As a public (and you all know that's pronounced "pewb-lick") service to all my loyal and disloyal readers, here are a few of the things that I rightly should have covered during my unwarranted hiatus. Feel free to imagine the gafaw-worthy insight and musings that you have become accustomed to reading from me. Or make up your own as they're probably better.
1. My Halloween costume as Brian VanGorder, and my awesome-ass mustache to go along with it. "Why VanGorder?" "Well, what's scarier to a Georgia Southern fan?"
2. Man, it's good to be on drugs again... well, Xenadrine anyways. Ran my ass off today. Seriously, I think I passed it coming back on my 3rd mile. I'm sure it'll catch back up later.
3. The clusterfuck that is the Statesboro City Council elections. How great would it have been with a credibility/stereotype joke about the guy named Bubba running?
4. Drinking in a hotel with friends from out of town, drinking a fraternity brother under the table, taking him back up to his room to pass out, and then going back down to the other room to drink more beer with the last person left whose room it was.
5. Going back to the gym after a two month lay-off. One word: owwwwwwch!
6. UNC is the preseason #1 in the polls. Georgia Southern? Probably hanging around a litle lower than that. All that matters is the final rankings though.
7. Comic books are so damned good right now. Why must I be so poor? Oh, right. I know why.
8. Giving blood again. Cleaned up on the free cookies because there wasn't hardly anyone else giving. Sweet.
9. Contemplating giving up the SBDA blog (again). But I kinda dreaded getting a comment emailed to me from Adubya comparing me to The Princess. Again.
10. Still waiting to hear from Savannah or Statesboro. At this point if I rush into a fire, I'm still just an idiot, not a firefighter.
11. The Writers Guild strike. Not really gonna hurt me until around just after Christmas or so when already taped shows run out. Then it'll be a Vader-esque "Noooooooooo!"
12. Twelve? Shit, this way way more than I thought I would have written about. Anyhoo, TV is still pretty damned good and I'm wearing the Hell outta Mr. Deaver. And for some God-only-knows why reason, I'm still watching "Moonlight".
13. $5.50 pitchers of Guinness & Stella during happy hour at K-Bob Kelly's.
14. Making a drunken, German spectacle of myself at the IHT's official wedding rehearsal dinner party as a direct result of several of number 13s. Ummm, my bad?
15. And I'm gonna cut it off here as this really has been way longer than the little "Hey, I'm pretty much back and I know you missed my faux garishness and comedic timing" post. I'll end it with "How about them Eagles!?" From 3-8 last year in the season that never happened, to 7-2 so far under the Hatch Attack. Hail Southern!, Go Eagles!, One more time!, Find a way! and all that.
Ahhhh.... that's better.
D
Sorry for the overly long, and possibly overly dramatic, absence from the blog-o-sphere. All is well, or at least as well as it can be considering my last post. But a return to normalcy is probably the soup du jour. And you know what that means!!! That's right: intermittent and random-ass posting where I bemuse, belittle, berate, befuddle and a whole bunch of other b-words everything and everyone that I can think of or that others can think of for me.
As a public (and you all know that's pronounced "pewb-lick") service to all my loyal and disloyal readers, here are a few of the things that I rightly should have covered during my unwarranted hiatus. Feel free to imagine the gafaw-worthy insight and musings that you have become accustomed to reading from me. Or make up your own as they're probably better.
1. My Halloween costume as Brian VanGorder, and my awesome-ass mustache to go along with it. "Why VanGorder?" "Well, what's scarier to a Georgia Southern fan?"
2. Man, it's good to be on drugs again... well, Xenadrine anyways. Ran my ass off today. Seriously, I think I passed it coming back on my 3rd mile. I'm sure it'll catch back up later.
3. The clusterfuck that is the Statesboro City Council elections. How great would it have been with a credibility/stereotype joke about the guy named Bubba running?
4. Drinking in a hotel with friends from out of town, drinking a fraternity brother under the table, taking him back up to his room to pass out, and then going back down to the other room to drink more beer with the last person left whose room it was.
5. Going back to the gym after a two month lay-off. One word: owwwwwwch!
6. UNC is the preseason #1 in the polls. Georgia Southern? Probably hanging around a litle lower than that. All that matters is the final rankings though.
7. Comic books are so damned good right now. Why must I be so poor? Oh, right. I know why.
8. Giving blood again. Cleaned up on the free cookies because there wasn't hardly anyone else giving. Sweet.
9. Contemplating giving up the SBDA blog (again). But I kinda dreaded getting a comment emailed to me from Adubya comparing me to The Princess. Again.
10. Still waiting to hear from Savannah or Statesboro. At this point if I rush into a fire, I'm still just an idiot, not a firefighter.
11. The Writers Guild strike. Not really gonna hurt me until around just after Christmas or so when already taped shows run out. Then it'll be a Vader-esque "Noooooooooo!"
12. Twelve? Shit, this way way more than I thought I would have written about. Anyhoo, TV is still pretty damned good and I'm wearing the Hell outta Mr. Deaver. And for some God-only-knows why reason, I'm still watching "Moonlight".
13. $5.50 pitchers of Guinness & Stella during happy hour at K-Bob Kelly's.
14. Making a drunken, German spectacle of myself at the IHT's official wedding rehearsal dinner party as a direct result of several of number 13s. Ummm, my bad?
15. And I'm gonna cut it off here as this really has been way longer than the little "Hey, I'm pretty much back and I know you missed my faux garishness and comedic timing" post. I'll end it with "How about them Eagles!?" From 3-8 last year in the season that never happened, to 7-2 so far under the Hatch Attack. Hail Southern!, Go Eagles!, One more time!, Find a way! and all that.
Ahhhh.... that's better.
D
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