Preseason Roster Checks: CBS

CBS. They’re teetering on the brink of complete elimination even before the season starts thanks to those jerkasses cancelling “Jericho.” If they’d have axed “How I Met Your Mother”, I’d have never turned back to the channel that once employed me. Lucky bastards. Alright, can’t change the past or bring back great shows that were killed before their time (R.I.P. Firefly, Angel, Committed, etc.); so let’s open our media guides to page 37 for the roster…

CBS's Fall 2007 TV Schedule
Who Got Cut:

"The Class," "Close to Home," "Jericho," "The King of Queens," "Smith," "Three Lbs.," "Waterfront."

Who Got Retained:
"48 Hours: Mystery," "60 Minutes," "The Amazing Race," "Cold Case," "Crime Time Saturday," "Criminal Minds," "C.S.I.," "C.S.I.: Miami," "C.S.I.: NY," "Ghost Whisperer," "How I Met Your Mother," "N.C.I.S.," "The New Adventures of Old Christine," "Numb3rs," "Rules of Engagement," "Survivor," "Two and a Half Men," "The Unit," "Without a Trace."

Newly Acquired:

“The Big Bang Theory,” “Cane,” “Kid Nation,” “Moonlight,” “Swingtown,” “Viva Laughlin,” “
The All-Stars:“How I Met Your Mother”

Players To Watch?:

-“Kid Nation”- I gotta see what happens when 40 kids fuck up royally and no one is around to help ‘em.

(Reality, Wednesdays 8pm)A reality-based series in which 40 kids will have 40 days to build a new world - in a ghost town that died in the 19th Century. These kids, ages 8-15, will spend more than a month without their parents or modern comforts in Bonanza City, N.M., attempting to do what their forefathers could not - build a town that works. They will cook their own meals, clean their own outhouses, haul their own water and even run their own businesses - including the old town saloon (root beer only). They'll also create a real government - four kid leaders who will guide the group through their adventure, pass laws and set bedtimes. Through it all, they'll cope with regular childhood emotions and situations: homesickness, peer pressure and the urge to break every rule they've ever known. At the end of each episode, all 40 kids will gather at an old fashioned Town Hall meeting where they will debate the issues facing Bonanza City. They'll show wisdom beyond their years and the unflinching candor that only kids can exhibit. There are no eliminations on KID NATION - you only go home if you want to. And in every Town Hall meeting, kids may raise their hands and leave. Will they stick it out? In the end, will these kids prove to adults everywhere (and their own parents!) that they have the vision to build a better world than the pioneers who came before them? And just as importantly, will they come together as a cohesive unit, or will they abandon all responsibility and succumb to the childhood temptations that lead to round-the-clock chaos? .

-“Moonlight”- Hmmm… a vampire investigator who helps the helpless. Something tells me I might like this one… God that reminds me of something… just can’t put my finger on it…

(Supernatural Drama, Fridays 9pm)Follows Mick St. John (Alex O'Loughlin) a captivating "undead" investigator who uses his acute vampire senses to help the living... instead of feeding on them. In an agonizing twist of fate, Mick was "bitten" 60 years ago by his new bride, the seductive and beguiling Coraline (Amber Valletta). Immortal and eternally as young, handsome and charismatic as he was then, Mick is sickened by Coraline and other vampires who view humans only as a source of nourishment. With only a handful of undead confidantes for company, including deceitful ally Josef (Rade Serbedzija), Mick fills his infinite days protecting the living, and trying not to think about how his life would have been if he hadn't followed his heart. However, after six decades of resisting, he wonders if it's time to pursue the love of a mortal. He has his eyes on Beth Turner (Shannon Lucio), a beautiful, ambitious reporter who has been covering the ongoing plague of unusual murders. But would Beth even consider giving up a normal life to be with him, and can Mick risk the pain of seeing himself as a monster in her eyes? As Mick lives between two realities, fighting his adversaries among the undead and falling in love with Beth, he knows he needs to figure out a reason to keep "living." Joel Silver produces.

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The Network’s Rotation:
MONDAY

8pm: "How I Met Your Mother"

8:30pm: "The Big Bang Theory"

9pm: "Two and a Half Men"

9:30pm: "Rules of Engagement"

10pm: "C.S.I.: Miami"

TUESDAY

8pm: "N.C.I.S."

9pm: "The Unit"

10pm: "Cane"

WEDNESDAY

8pm: "Kid Nation"

9pm: "Criminal Minds"

10pm: "C.S.I.: NY"

THURSDAY

8pm: "Survivor"

9pm: "C.S.I.: Crime Scene Investigation"

10pm: "Without a Trace"

FRIDAY

8pm: "Ghost Whisperer"

9pm: "Moonlight"

10pm: "Numb3rs"

SATURDAY

8pm: "Crime Time Saturday"

10pm: "48 Hours: Mystery"

SUNDAY

7pm: "60 Minutes"

8pm: "Viva Laughlin"

9pm: "Cold Case"

10pm: "Shark"
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Meh. CBS’ll probably more than hold their own this Fall as it seems there won’t be much stiff competition from NBC or ABC at this point. But let’s just wait and see how the show-killing network known as Fox shows out.

D