Friday, May 18, 2007

Preseason Roster Checks: Fox

Ah, Fox: the masked executioner of the networks. Always waiting to drop the axe on quality shows that haven’t been given a fair shake, because they’ve been screwed over by various methods. My disdain for you grows exponentially each season. So who’s gonna get cancelled early this year? Let’s take a look…

Fox's Fall 2007 TV Schedule

Who Got Cut:

"Drive," "Happy Hour," "Justice," "The Loop," "The O.C.," "The Rich List," "Stand-off," "Vanished," "The Wedding Bells," "The War at Home," "The Winner."

Who Got Retained:

"24," "American Dad," "American Idol," "America's Most Wanted," "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?," "Bones," "Cops," "Family Guy," "House," "King of the Hill," "MADtv," "Prison Break," "The Simpsons," "Talk Show with Spike Feresten," "Til Death."
Newly Acquired:“Back to You,” “Canterbury’s Law,” “K-Ville,” “New Amsterdam,” The Return of Jezebel James,” The Rules for Starting Over,” “The Sarah Conner Chronicles,” various reality shows

The All-Stars:

“The Simpsons” & “Family Guy”


Players To Watch?:
Why bother? Fox is just going to go and cancel whatever show I start watching anyways. Why should I invest any time at all at this point? Fine, whatever. How about these?


-“Back to You”- Wow. Beast, I mean, Kelsey Grammer is back on TV. That may be almost enough luck for this one to stay out of range of Fox’s free-swinging axe for a while. Look what he did for “Frazier”, and that show sucked. Still, a quasi-behind the scenes show about TV will always have the tendency to draw me in, if only for a little while.


(Comedy, Wednesdays 8pm)The 90s, the local TV news scene in Pittsburgh was dominated by one team: Chuck Darling (Kelsey Grammer) and Kelly Carr (Patricia Heaton). They had that elusive quality all news teams need: chemistry ... at least on-screen. Off-screen, Chuck was a bit of an egomaniacal womanizer, Kelly a bit of an uptight know-it-all. So when Chuck got the call to move up to a larger market, no tears were shed. Now, after an embarrassing newscast tirade ends up on the Internet, Chuck finds himself on the downswing career-wise. He's even questioning whether his lifestyle of chasing women and living in hotels is as exciting as it used to be. So when he gets the call to return to Pittsburgh, to reunite with Kelly and try to take the newscast back to No. 1, it's an offer he can't refuse. Back in Pittsburgh, Chuck has a couple of new co-workers: Montana Diaz Herrera (Aimee Garcia), the perky, sexy, somewhat inept weather anchor, and Ryan Church(Paul Campbell), the overstressed news director. There are also familiar faces like Marsh McGinley (Fred Willard), the affable, endlessly inappropriate sports anchor, and Gary Crezyzewski, pronounced Kre-shoov-ski (Ty Burrell), the perennially put-upon field reporter who always seems to get left out in the snow. But, mostly, there's Kelly, now a single mom to 10-year-old Gracie (Laura Marano). There was magic between them once. Can they find it again?


- “New Amsterdam”- “Highlander” without the swords and other immortals? Maybe not, but I still heard Queen’s “Who wants to live forever?” as I read the show description. Meh. Worth a shot.


(Supernatural Drama, Tuesdays 8pm)The story of a New York homicide detective unlike any other. He is brilliant, mysterious, reckless, magnetic, unknowable. And he has a profound secret he is immortal. In 1642, John Amsterdam (Nikolaj Coster Waldau), then a Dutch solider in the colony of New Amsterdam later to become New York City stepped in front of a sword intended for a Native Indian girl during a massacre of her indigenous tribe. The girl in turn rescued Amsterdam, weaving an ancient spell that conferred immortality upon him. Amsterdam will not age, she told him, until he finds his one true love. Only then will he become whole and ready for mortality. But Amsterdam has found this to be a mixed blessing. Over the course of three centuries, he's experienced endless adventure and honed his many talents. But everyone Amsterdam meets must leave him in time; lovers and children die while he remains young. His sole confidante and lifelong friend is the sage jazz club owner Omar (Stephen Henderson), the keeper of Amsterdam's secret, as well as a few of his own. As the exhilaration of eternal life has given way to emotional isolation and bitter loneliness, Amsterdam discovers the blessing has become a curse. Having witnessed its entire history, from colonial outpost to mega-metropolis, John Amsterdam is the living embodiment of New York City. He and the island of Manhattan are now part and parcel of each other. Bringing to bear the unorthodox techniques and unique knowledge gained from his vast life experience, Amsterdam today is one of the NYPD's best homicide detectives, sparring with his vibrant, strong-willed partner Eva Marquez (Zuleikha Robinson) as they solve difficult murder cases. But when Amsterdam suffers and then recovers from what appears to be a massive heart attack while chasing a suspect, and Dr. Sara Dillane (Alexie Gilmore) pronounces him dead in the ER, he realizes that the Indian girl's prophesy may have come true he felt the pain in his heart that she had foretold so long ago. His soul mate must have been nearby.As he works to find a killer on the streets of New York, Amsterdam understands that his own life and possibly his death have changed forever. Alan Loeb produces and Lasse Hallstrom directs.


-“The Sarah Connor Chronicles”- This is gonna suck. Hard. Like 7 Dyson vacuums put together to form the ultimate sucking machine just this side of Jar Jar Binks. But Summer Glau is in it. Then again, that basis for support worked oh so well for Nathan Fillion and “Drive”.


(Sci-Fi Drama, Sundays 9pm)An intense new drama based on the celebrated heroine of the "Terminator" movies: Sarah Connor. At the end of "Terminator 2: Judgment Day," Sarah vanquished the liquid metal Terminator sent from the future to kill her teenage son, John. Sarah and John now find themselves alone in a very dangerous, complicated world. Fugitives from the law, they are confronted with the reality that still more enemies from the future, and the present, could attack at any moment. This reveals what happens when Sarah Connor (Lena Headey) stops running and goes on the offensive against an ever-evolving technological enemy bent on destroying her life, and perhaps the world. Her son, 15-year-old John Connor (Thomas Dekker), knows that he may be the future savior of mankind, but is not yet ready to take on the mantle of leadership that he's told is his destiny. John finds himself inextricably drawn to Cameron (Summer Glau), an enigmatic and otherworldly student at his high school, who soon proves to be much more than his confidante she assumes the role of Sarah and John's fearless protector. On their trail are not only threats from the future, but an intelligent and tough FBI agent, James Ellison (Richard T. Jones), who soon becomes a powerful ally. Owain Yeoman also stars. Josh Friedman and David Nutter produce.


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The Network’s Rotation: (Fox is making it as hard as possible)

AUGUST TO DECEMBER 2006:
MONDAY
8pm: "Prison Break"
9pm: "K-Ville"

TUESDAY
8pm: "New Amsterdam"
9pm: "House"

WEDNESDAY
8pm: "Back to You"
8:30pm: "'Til Death"
9pm: "Bones"

THURSDAY
8pm: "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?"
9pm: "Kitchen Nightmares"

FRIDAY
8pm: "The Search For The Next Great American Band"
9pm: "Nashville"

SATURDAY
8pm: "Cops"
9pm: "America's Most Wanted: America Strikes Back"

SUNDAY
7pm: "The OT" (NFL Post-Game)
8pm: "The Simpsons"
8:30pm: "King of the Hill"
9pm: "Family Guy"
9:30pm: "American Dad"

JANUARY TO MAY 2007:
MONDAY
8pm: "K-Ville"(Jan)/"Prison Break"(Mar)
9pm: "24"

TUESDAY
8pm: "American Idol"
9pm: "House"

WEDNESDAY
8pm: "Back to You"
8:30pm: "'Til Death"(Jan)/"The Return of Jezebel James"(Mar)
9pm: "American Idol"(Jan)/"American Idol Results Show"(Mar)
9:30pm: "American Idol"(Jan)/"'Til Death"(Mar)

THURSDAY
8pm: "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?"
9pm: "Canterbury's Law"

FRIDAY
8pm: "Bones"
9pm: "New Amsterdam"

SATURDAY
8pm: "Cops"
9pm: "America's Most Wanted: America Strikes Back"
SUNDAY
7pm: "King of the Hill"
7:30pm: "American Dad"
8pm: "The Simpsons"
8:30pm: "Family Guy"
9pm: "The Sarah Connor Chronicles"

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Blah blah blah. It’s Fox and I’m pissy. That is all.


D

2 comments:

D said...

I thought of something the other day while putting this together, but forgot to include it:

Since Fox only really does the 8-10 thing (the news is always at 10), then shouldn't that free up a shitload of money that tey could really use to bolster the quality of programming that they do show from 8-10? Well, you'd think so. But apparently not always. Probably just goes right to executives.

adubya said...

I'm kind of surprised Bones and 24 didn't get cut since those are the only 2 shows I watch on Fox.