Ramma Jamma, Yellow Hammer, Give ‘Em Hell, Alabama!

13 hours and 827.1 miles later, I’m back from Tuscaloosa. And the drive wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Other than the cost of gas, some light traffic outside Atlanta, and rigamortis setting in on my lower half from sitting; it was a semi-enjoyable drive. But the city of Tuscaloosa and getting to see a very good friend really made the trip. Well that; and all the booze and hot, hot girls.

Instead of trying to tie everything up into a nice, neat story about my trip; I’ve decided to just point out a few observations and musings that I had during my brief stay in Alabama.

-What the fuck are all these hill things? We don’t have those in South Georgia. It’s weird having to look up at shit all the time.
-Is the state movie of Alabama Forrest Gump? Heh. Well what would Georgia’s be? Probably Smokey and the Bandit.
-Accidentally calling “Birmingham” “Burgerham” is indeed actually funny. To me at least.
-That football stadium is ridiculously huge. What? They’re expanding it to hold 93,000 and change? That’s just re-goddamned-diculous.
-Wow. So this is what it’s like when an entire city fully supports the school that’s there.
-So many bars, so little time. And money.
-Wearing a tux can make any schmuck, even me, look better.
-Meeting someone for the first time and having them ask you “Are you Liquid Courage?”, is a very surreal experience. Funny, yes; but creepy and unnerving also.
-I don’t care how many times you say it, but “Get these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane!” just doesn’t get old.
-What do you mean you don’t have any Doritos? This store isn’t very convenient.
-Leaving a $10 tip on a $4 bar tab will still get you nowhere with the hot, hot girl tending bar. Well, it didn’t get me anywhere.
-This place was great…from what I remember.
-Even after all these years, waking up in a strange bed after a night of drinking is still a bit scary and kinda fun.
-I have seen Anchor Man way too many times if I can identify the movie by 5 seconds of “yazz flute” from the other end of the house and after just waking up. Way too many.
-XM Satellite Radio has got to be in the top 50 of the greatest inventions ever. Along with beer, football, the stripper pole, and Snakes on a Plane.

So that’s a few of the things that popped into my head during my time in Tuscaloosa. Well, the ones that I can remember anyways. I can’t wait to see what I come back with after an extended trip for the wedding in November.

D