In with the good, out with the bad.

I hate most forwarded emails as you well know. To paraphrase Mitch Hedberg, "I hate when people send me forwarded emails. It's like they're saying 'Hey, you delete this'."

But this morning I actually got something decently funny in my In Box:

LIQUOR WARNING

Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex withoutspitting.
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***WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe youare invisible.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, leaving you unable to account for large chunks of time.
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***WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll overin the morning and see something really scary.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
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WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel gode.
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And it was from my father of all people. Hmmmm... you think he's trying to tell me something? I've already put a filter on his email address to trash anything with "Devotion" in the subject line, I don't think filtering him even more is gonna hurt. Does that make me a bad son? Meh. I didn't think so.

D