“Eagles for Bush!”

While I never had any intention of voting for him back in 2000 (or ’04), I still had to have that sticker just because the 7th grader in me found it so damned funny.

Today, Bush is here in the ‘Boro to back and rally support for Republican Congressional candidate Max Burns; who apparently is so far behind his opposition, that it’ll probably take Bush and then some for him to win a seat.

And all Hell is apparently trying to break loose on GSU’s campus. Well, not all over campus (although that would be cool). From what I hear, it’s more where he’s speaking (Hanner Fieldhouse) and wherever they relegated the “free speech zone” (protesters) to be.

Luckily, I get to drive by Hanner on the way home for lunch so I may get to see a bit of the Secret Service-controlled chaos. Or I may just get stuck in enough traffic to make me hate Bush even more. We’ll see. I may or may not have more to update with later.

For now though I leave you with that great slogan that made me giggle a thousand times over: “Eagles for Bush!”

Yeah, it’s still funny to me.

D

Studio 60 on the DVD Strip

Damn it. Looks like NBC is getting ready to give Studio 60 the axe, possibly even before the season is over.

This just gives me flashbacks of another highly acclaimed, yet viewer missed, Sorkin show (which I mention every opportunity I get): Sports Night. And if they can it before the season ends, it runs the same course as another fan-favorite show that met its demise before its prime: Firefly.

Apparently, NBC has ordered 3 additional scripts for the show on top of its already planned 13; but low viewership is what’s causing it to be “imminently cancelled”. Drop offs from the first half-hour to the second show that attention-challenged viewers aren’t sticking with the show long enough for it to garner high Nielson ratings. And low ratings mean low chances of survival, even if the show is top notch.

I really really hope that this isn’t the case (maybe it’s just shoddy, initial reporting by Fox News), as Studio 60 is one of my favorite shows on TV right now. I think the last thing that we need on the air is another freaking game show or reality show. To me, that’s a prime reason why viewers can’t sit through a solid hour of television if it’s not in the 9:00 time slot (Lost and Heroes).

Regardless of if it’s to be cancelled or not, I’ll be picking it up on DVD. I’d just hate for it to be just one season of the show. Hell, at least Fox gave Arrested Development 3 seasons to find an audience before canceling the best comedy on TV.

D

A Herculean feat…

On a Derek-size scale.

I haven’t had a piece of candy in like over a month, mostly because I’m just trying to cut back on my sugar intake. But now here I am right smack dab in the middle of Halloween and all the jars, buckets and bags of all that sugary goodness. I think if I can get through the next 5 days and nights without eating any, it’ll be a task not unlike the retrieving of the Golden Fleece. Well, to me anyways.

I think I’ll be alright too, if I can manage to not drunkenly come across the world’s greatest candy bar ever:

The dreaded Take 5.

Yeah, I know. Not a whole Hell of a lot happening on SBDA right now…

D

You know what's scary?

Being a "blue" in a "red" state like Georgia.

I get hosed on all kinds of good shit because I happen to live in the Bible-belt and in a conservative state.

The latest "screwed without so much as a drink" is not being able to see a kick-ass, post-Halloween movie festival dubbed "Horrorfest".



8 movies that won't be released to the general public because they're all pussies. 8 movies that ought to be awesome to see, especially in a festival atmosphere with others who'd really enjoy them. 8 movies I won't get to see until they get released on DVD, and probably one at a time causing me a tremendous pain in the ass.

I had hoped that maybe Savannah would get it, due to it having a more of an artsy culture than say the 'Boro. But no, not so much. Hell, not even Atlanta is getting it.

Oh well. Not a whole lot I can do about it. Except rant and rave which I've already done. So I guess that means I'm done for now.

D

No career change just yet…

Damn. Found out that the City already did interviews the other day for the 2 open Firefighter positions it had. Seeing as how I didn’t get a call, I can use my Batman skills to deduce that I’m not gonna be one of those 2.

But my buddy is telling me that the new Chief wants to add an additional ladder truck to one of the stations to go out on all calls. So that would require hiring about 12 men to fill that truck on all the shifts. So hopefully sometime very soon they’ll be looking for 12 more guys.

The one positive I can come away with, is that it gives me a little more time to heal up and get ready. I’m also looking into taking the Firefighter I certificate program at night if we’re gonna offer it at school next quarter. I don’t really care about people finding out anymore.

So for now, another dream has been dashed. I’ll just sweep it up and put it in the trash with all the others. Man, I really need to change that bag as it’s getting really full.

I am not giving up though.

D

Don’t I know you?

Seems that the A.S.S. mockumentary is ever so slowly gaining a little more notoriety. Well, at least here in the ‘Boro.

2 nights in a row I was up at the bar and had someone ask me about it. Friday night’s was the best because it was so completely out of left field and just took me by surprise (not to mention giving everyone at the table a good laugh). I was stunned for a few seconds before I was able to ask him how he’d seen it. Turns out it was just in a search for “Statesboro” in YouTube (we come out on the third page along with some of those “Bubba-San” Car City commercials). He said his favorite part was my belly flop on the grass, to which I responded “Yeah, I did my own stunts.”

Saturday night had the bouncer at the door ask me about it while I was coming in. He just said that he had found it pretty much the same way with one of his friends and they had watched it a couple of times. And coincidentally, Bubba-San was at the bar that night too.

What with the small resurgence of interest, maybe I should go as good ol’ LC for Halloween this year. I’ll just be sure to wear a “Hello. My name is: Liquid Courage” nametag. Of course I’ll have to write it in crayon, make the handwriting really sloppy and possibly put the “r” backwards or something.

This almost makes me want to ask Jake to get a copy of the extended movie and put it on YouTube as well, if only for the bloopers at the end. Almost.

D

Homecoming: Two Thousand Ought Six

Ah, Homecoming week in the ‘Boro. And what a lackluster week it’s been. Last year I kinda felt the same way, but I was off campus for the first time in 9 years, so I didn’t get to see everything that was going on on campus. But this year’s seems a little worse for some reason.

Maybe it has something to do with us having a shoddy 3-3 record. Maybe there just hasn’t been a lot of promotion around town (I’m hoping that’s not the case on campus). Hell, maybe most people are just dreading the potential ridiculously embarrassing ass-whipping we could receive from the #1 team in the nation, and are trying not to think about Saturday at all. Who knows?

Well, I’m gonna try and make the most of it this weekend (as I do every year really) despite all the things that “could” happen. It’s like they say: the game’s played on the field, not in the stat sheets. Which still doesn’t inspire too much confidence in that we keep playing like a friggin’ yoyo (the “every other game” theory has us losing Saturday).

But I digress. Friday night does present itself with a good outing opportunity in that Elohsa will be playing at Dos. Haven’t seem them in quite some time, and I missed their last show because I didn’t even know they were playing. Saturday will offer the usual tailgating, albeit handicapped by a stupid 12:00 noon kickoff time. That only allows me a few hours to get “peppy” beforehand. Which, when playing “crApp State”, may or may not be enough time. Saturday night be me more of the same (having way too good of a time at Dos), but hopefully will allow a nap beforehand this time.

So that's pretty much the plan. Well, it's more of a loose guideline really. Hell, I'll probably just play it by ear really.

Oh, and before I forget:
crApp State is Hot Hot Hot!



Go Eagles!

D

Trying not to tempt fate

Or the SBDA writers.



So Detroit did one of the greatest swan dives ever at the end of the season. So they choked worse than Momma Cass and blew their chance at an AL Central Division title. So they had to settle for a wild card berth and had to face the dreaded Yankees in the first round of the playoffs. So I called 'em a buncha assholes.

So what? They're in the World frickin' Series right now.

And because I'm insanely superstitous (along with all the other insane things I am), I'm still gonna maintain that they're still a buncha assholes because that's worked for me so far.

So get rested, play well, and win it all boys. You buncha assholes.

D

Ordonez's Walk Off Homer

Paraskavedekatriaphobia

Friday the 13th. Whoopity-doo.

I really don’t give much of a rat’s ass about it anymore (I thought it was cool when I was little), with the exception of hoping that someone is running a marathon of the movies, and I get to catch my favorite: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood. Man, that telepathic/telekinetic chick really hands Jason his ass in the end.

And if my TV timing is really on, I might catch the best scene in Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. The scene where Jason punches the guy’s head off after he tries to outbox Jason. Dumbass.

But that's about it really. I think it's pretty much just extra paranoia in peoples' heads, much like Y2K or Jesus' return.

But what do I know?

D

Like that worm Kahn put in Chekhov’s ear

WARNING: This is one of those sucky, “my feelings” posts that isn’t of any real interest to anybody. I just felt like wallowing.
----

I feel like I’m not in complete control of my thoughts lately. Not that I can always control the randomness and thought processes that go on in my big ol’ noggin, but I can usually push things aside and forget about them for a while, if not permanently.

Not this week though. This week it’s been hard to find things that keep me busy or occupied enough to keep from thinking about something that’s just dragging me down lately. Actually, that “something” should be “someone”.

And that “someone” would be a still-smoking-hot ex, who I never really got completely over. And I had to see her all week long. Yet another reason I need to change professions.

Yes, things were friendly. Yes, I tried to play it cool. And yes, I felt like dogshit the whole week.

I found it hard to look her in the eyes when I talked to her, I had to will myself not to look over at her when I wasn’t busy, and I even had the extra-insane compulsion to go home and work out every day afterwards (like it was gonna do any good the week of). I just couldn’t win. When I was around her, I wanted to avoid her; but when I was avoiding her, I wanted to be around her. Damnit!

Friggin’ SBDA. They really decided to take a shot at my emotional cajones this week, and got a good one in. I hope they were entertained, ‘cause I sure as hell wasn’t.

Oh well, whatever. Guess I’ll deal with it the same way I usually do: gettin’ drunk.

D

Psyche!

I wanna go see a psychic.

A couple of girls that I know saw one in Savannah earlier this week, and that rekindled my interest in seeing one for my own personal amusement. And it’s also on my list of things to do before I die (which I am currently updating for your future boredom).

There used to be one here in the ‘Boro a few years back that Logan went to see, and supposedly came out white as a sheet afterwards because she was so freaky accurate and detailed. But, alas, she has relocated; and I’m not sure if she’s still in town or not. In fact, I’m not sure if there’s a psychic in town at all. Hold on, lemme check the yellow pages… Indeed there is.

According to her ad, Maria is a Psychic Reader & Advisor; and she helps you to understand your past, guide you in the present, and know your future. Who goes to see a psychic about their past? That’s what therapists are for. All anybody’s really interested in is their future, right? Well, unless maybe they have some serious compulsion about getting the best deal possible or something. Kinda like the Sam’s of the occult.

Her specialties include: Palm, Tarot Card, Crystal Readings & Soul Mate Readings. And she also hablas the ol’ espanol.

So, with a local number and addy, alls I need to do is call to see how much a session is and consider making an appointment. Anybody wanna go with?

D

Boiling Point

Ever seen that show “Boiling Points”? If not, the basic premise is this:
MTV sends people out with hidden cameras to do seriously annoying or aggravating things to unsuspecting victims, and then keep doing them to see how long it’ll take for them to snap and go apeshit. If the victim passes the predetermined time limit, they win cash.

Alright, synopsis aside; I just went through that. But without the hidden cameras and cash. And actually, without me going apeshit.

I was just hanging out talking to a few people from work when a girl asked if any of us had a cell phone she could borrow. The others said no; but I, being the noble/naive jackass that I am, said yes. I figured that she just needed to call a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever and ask for a ride home.

When she got up and started walking around the room and in and out of the hallway; I figured out this wasn’t gonna be a short call. The coworkers just laughed as they looked at my facial expressions change as I slowly figured it out. I waited and waited for her to finish up, but she never stopped.

First I quipped about hoping the other person was Verizon too. After a couple of minutes, I asked them “Hey have you guys ever seen those T-Mobile commercials where the kids just keep talking on the cell phone and the parents start yelling at them to hang up? I’m about to do that.” Before I could turn around to give her the “wrap it up” sign, she ducked into the hall again. I followed up the T-Mobile reference with “Am I on Boiling Points? ‘Cause I’m about to cost myself some cash.”

I finally got up and went out to tell her to wrap it up. And about a minute later I got my phone.

7 minutes and 32 seconds. 7 and a half minutes! You don’t spend 7 and a half minutes on a stranger’s phone unless you were just in a multiple car pile-up or you're on either side of a hot pursuit and you get to use the line “He’ll have to call you back.” That shit’s unacceptable.

So thanks, chick. From now on, if I don’t know somebody and they need to use a phone to make a call; the answers “No, sorry. I don’t have one. But he/she does!”

D

Dr. Cuervo’s Old Fashioned Wonder Tonic

Wish I could take credit for this…

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living with Tequila®. Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, eroticlustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, drymouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

D

Do I tell you how to do your job?!?!

I hate the campus-wide faculty/staff meetings we have at the beginning of the month. Inevitably they talk about numbers or present market research that tells us shit I already know. I always feel like everyone is sitting there thinking “Why aren’t we doing that?” or “Isn’t D supposed to be doing that?”

Well, yes we are; and yes, I am. So shut your mouths and let me do my job, which is exactly why your bosses hired me. You just go back to doing whatever the hell it is that you’re supposed to be doing.

Fucking meetings.

But on the kick-ass side, I did win a $25 gift certificate to the Beaver House (heh, “beaver”) at the end of the meeting, so that settled me down a bit. I think it’s only a matter of minutes before one of the girls I work with tells me I can use it to take out the girl they’re trying to set me up with. And I did see her again today, and maybe it was the distance or something, but she looked a little cuter today. I dunno. I think I need a good look right at her in some good lighting to really be sure. Don’t wanna waste my gift certificate, you know?

D

All tied up

We made the switch back to wearing ties again every day at work. I hate wearing ties. I’m used to it, but that doesn’t mean I like it. It feels like someone has their hands loosely around my neck, half-assedly strangling me for 9 hours a day.

And I got tired of tying them every freakin’ day too; so I just went and tied all the ones I wear, slipped them back over my head, and put them all on a hanger for easy access and aggravation reduction.

I’m still hoping that one day soon I’ll be able to shrug off the tie permanently, or at least trade it for a big plastic helmet and a midget’s weight in uniform and equipment.

D

Do they even have a Betty Ford for TV?

Yes, I actually did make up a TV schedule. Yes, I have that big of a problem. No, I am not getting any treatment.

(click to enlarge, if you're so inclined.)

D

Tool Time

There’s just something about wiring or re-wiring your entire entertainment system yourself. Something manly. Something that just makes me remember that scene in Castaway when Tom Hanks makes fire for the first time on the island.

Yes, it can be a huge pain in the ass (and knees and back too), but there’s no better sense of a “Take that you sonofabitch!”-type accomplishment than being able to sit on your couch and be slightly deafened by Chris Berman coming through your stereo from 5 feet across the room.

I picked up a simple Phillips A/V input selector after getting Jake’s thumbs up of approval on Saturday; and spent an hour or two Sunday morning dismantling, unplugging, dusting and rewiring everything so that all the video and audio now run through the switcher. And most importantly; the TV, DVD, and PS2’s audio (need to check on the VCR) all run through the stereo for no better reason than I want it loud. And boy is it. It’s no home theater surround sound or anything; but my apartment isn’t that big to begin with, so an Aiwa stereo with the bass boost on is more than enough for me and whoever else comes over to go deaf.

Alright, so it’s not like I split the frickin’ atom or built my own pub room in the basement; but I feel good in knowing that I’ve got no one to blame but myself when I lose even more hearing or have my neighbors call the cops for a noise ordinance violation. Again.

D

Anybody know the Heimlich?

Wow. That’s some quality choking right there. Even Reggie Miller would like to make fun of that.

Detroit finally finished blowing the as-high-as 12 ½ game lead (May 27th) over the Twins that they’d been nursing for most of the second half of the season. And what better way to let Minnesota win the Division than by choking on the 6 run lead they had over the Royals in THE LAST GAME OF THE SEASON!!

While we’re at it, thanks for making it as excruciating as possible too. By taking the game into extra innings instead of just getting it over with during the “paid for” innings, you guys managed to raise the blood pressure and shave off 2.37 years off all us fans. Or think of it as adding 3.56 years to the life of all non-Tigers fans, because laughter is the best medicine.

I know I should be grateful for still being able to coast into the playoffs (on fumes) for the first time in 19 years. I know I should be. But I’m not.

My complimenting them for the entire season didn’t work so well. Let’s see what happens when I call them a “buncha assholes” at the start of the playoffs.

Buncha assholes.

Go Tigers.

D