Went to Wikipedia. Slapped in my birthday (minus the year). Perused the oh-so fascinating incidents that occurred on that date. Culled the herd down to these most scintillating nuggets. Then added some little, known historical facts that may or may not be entirely accurate.
EVENTS:
1189- Richard I of England (a.k.a. Richard “the Lionhearted”) is crowned at Westminster.
Thus starting a proud tradition of ass kickers with the nickname “Lionheart”. Jean Claude Van Damme and Chris Jericho being the latest.
1777- Cooch’s Bridge- Skirmish of American Revolutionary war in New Castle County, Delaware where the Flag of the United States was flown in battle for the first time.
Heh heh… “Cooch”…
1783- American Revolutionary War: The war ends with the signing of the Treaty of Paris by the United States and the Kingdom of Great Britain.
George Washington gives his historical, but little known, speech: “Neener, neener, neener; all you bunch a suckas!”
1892- Nottingham Forest play their first ever football league game. It ended 2-2 against Everton FC.
Nottingham would go on to get destroyed by arch-rival Sherwood Forest the following week 27-0.
1895- The first professional American football game is played, in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, between the Latrobe YMCA and the Jeanette Athletic Club. (Latrobe won the contest 12-0).
The Latrobe team quit playing football immediately after that game and went on to found the Rolling Rock Brewery, and also become the only football team to ever go undefeated for the entire course of the franchise’s existence.
1939- World War II: France, the United Kingdom, New Zealand and Australia declare war on Germany.
The next day Britain claimed “bollocks!”; and proceeded to call France a “bunch of poofters”, New Zealand “bloody savages” and told Australia to “stay home and go shag themselves, those sodding bunch of wankers and convicts!” France cried.
BIRTHS:
1923- Mort Walker, American Cartoonist.
It was Beetle Bailey. That’s the cartoon you were trying to think of. Sarge ruled. He drank a lot of beer.
1931- Dick Motta, American basketball coach.
Coached the Weber State Wildcats, then went on to coach half the teams in the NBA. Well, 5 of ‘em anyways. Twice with the Dallas Mavericks though.
1963- Amber Lynn, American porn star.
Boobies! … Jesus, that’s just sad. I can’t even think of anything good with a porn star. Well, I can, but just not in this context. But I did manage to put “Jesus” right after “porn star” and “Boobies”. That’s gotta count for something, right?
1965- Charlie Sheen, American actor.
Hookers and drug dealers around the world rejoiced, knowing that their professions would enjoy a profitable boom in the not too distant future…
1970- George Lynch, American basketball player. Former Tar Heel and member of the 1993 NCAA Men’s Basketball National Champions. Duke sucks.
1986- Shaun white, American snowboarder and skateboarder.
“The Flying Tomato” came out of the womb clutching a Mountain Dew and crying “whoa!” instead of the more typical/non-extreme “waah!”
DEATHS:
1969- Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam president (b. 1890).
According to my research, mostly Marine Corps jogging songs, Ho Chi Minh was a son of a bitch. He also apparently had the blue balls, the crabs and the seven year itch.
1970- Vince Lombardi, American football coach (b. 1913).
Ah, the infamous “The Day Wisconsin Stood Still”. Little known fact: the following year, 237 boys in the state of Wisconsin were named “Vince”. Sadly, 67 girls were also named “Lombardi” as well…
2001- Thuy Trang, American actress (b. 1973).
What?! Trini’s dead? Power Rangers can’t die! Especially cute, Asian, yellow Power Rangers. Wait a sec… did they make her the “yellow” Ranger because she was Asian? Holy crap! Zordon was a racist bastard! Never the less, we mourn the passing of the driver of the saber-toothed tiger zord; and we offer up one, last “It’s morphin’ time!” *sniff*
2005- William Rhenquist, Chief Justice of the United states (b. 1924).
He was no Warren Burger. Mmmmm...burger....
And there you go. A completely accurate look back at some of the historical significance of September 3rd.
D
R.I.P., Trini.
2 comments:
Damn! I never even thought of that... So, does that mean that Jason was Indian? Or part Indian?
And the "pink" thing is obvious, but what about Billy? What'd "blue" mean? I guess Zordon knew that he suffered from chronic depression. Or maybe that evil, racist, body-less bastard wanted to make Billy depressed?
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