User Created

I spent a little while the other day trying to think of some new issues of “Drunken Escapades” to regale you with. I came up with a whole lot of nothing. Well, really I came up with a few partial stories. Funny as they may be to me, I didn’t think they’d be all that great for you. I mean, how many times do you want to hear me saying “I've got nothing until I woke up to hearing someone asking for the local donkey show”? Wait, that might be a good one.*

Anyways, I did come up with a good idea: a little something I like to call “User Created”. All right, I totally and blatantly ripped that off of Attack of the Show, but they don’t use it any more, so I’m calling dibs.

What does “User Created” involve, you ask? Ask, damnit! Thank you. User Created is where you pick up my slack when it comes to future issues of “Drunken Escapades”. All those great, partial stories that I’ve been (not really) dying to blather all over the Interweb but can’t remember? The ones that you remember a whole hell of a lot better than I do? Well now you get to tell them. Now’s your chance to thoroughly embarrass the shit outta me, or at least attempt to before I add/remove anything that I find too revealing or will get me added to any terrorist lists or sent me to jail and or rehab. Again.

That’s right, you get to submit your favorite stories chronicling my drunken misadventures in and around Statesboro (or wherever, if I’ve gotten drunk with you somewhere else). And while we’re at it, why stop at me being drunk? Why don’t we just have some good old “This one time Derek did such and such…and he wasn’t even drinking!” stories in there too? I know Chris is up for the “2 spoons story”, ‘cause that’s a fucking classic.

So there’s your assignment: embarrass me. That ought to be fun for ya. Just type ‘em up and send ‘em on over to the official e-mail address of “Screw Big, Dumb American!”: screwbigdumbamerican@yahoo.com . When I receive them, I’ll do any editing necessary (I promise it will be very minimal as to keep the embarrassment level as high as possible) and then post them as I need them. If I get enough of them, I can possibly turn it into a weekly column/post. AND, I'll even give you credit for the story. Your own byline, if you will.

But it all depends on how much I get from you, my loyal and loving friends (who I may or may not disown).

And….begin.

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Late Judge's ruling:
Creative fanfic or photos may also be submitted, but subject to review.
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D

*I have never actually awoken to someone inquiring about the local donkey shows. But that's not to say that I probably haven't gotten wasted and inquired of someone else about their local donkey shows...