For the kids

It was originally meant for kids, but I felt like they left a few things out of it that the kids needed to know.

Why do we celebrate the 4th of July?

Most people in the United States celebrate the 4th of July (except illegal aliens and communists), but do you know exactly why the holiday is so important to our country (probably not, if you go to public school)? Imagine how you would feel if someone older than you (maybe an older sister or brother) (or your parents, bosses, even the government later in life) kept telling you what to do all of the time and kept taking more and more of your allowance. That is how the colonists felt in the years leading up to 1776 (back before TV and Al Gore invented the Internet). Great Britain kept trying to make the colonists follow more rules and pay higher taxes. People started getting mad and began making plans to be able to make their own rules. They no longer wanted Great Britain to be able to tell them what to do, so they decided to tell Great Britain that they were becoming an independent country (and to shove it up their ass). (To be independent means to take care of yourself, making your own rules and providing for your own needs.) (To shove it up their ass means to, well I think you know what it means.)

The Congress met in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and they appointed a committee (a group of people working together to do a specific job) (and the only ones who could read and write above a 4th grade level) to write a formal document that would tell Great Britain that the Americans had decided to govern themselves (and to go shag themselves). The committee asked Thomas Jefferson to write a draft (first try) (of many) of the document, so he worked for days, in absolute secret, until he had written a document that he thought said everything important that the committee had discussed (and a few choice words of his own). On June 28, 1776, the committee met to read Jefferson's "fair" copy (he put his best ideas together and wrote them neatly.) They revised (made some changes) (by hand, because spellcheck wan't around then) the document and declared their independence on July 2, 1776 (hence why the Philadelphia basketball team is called the 76ers). They officially adopted it (made it theirs) (like Brad and Angelina's homemade UN of children) on July 4, 1776. That is why we call it "Independence Day." (Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum have nothing to do with it.) Congress ordered that all members must sign the Declaration of Independence and they all began signing the "official" copy on August 2, 1776. In January of the next year, Congress sent signed copies to all of the states. (But as Nicolas Cage taught us, the real copy has a treasure map on the back of it.)

The Declaration of Independence is more than just a piece of paper (and treasure map). It is a symbol of our country's independence and commitment to certain ideas. A symbol is something that stands for something else. Most people can look at a certain little "swoosh" and know that it stands for "Nike." (or an extended middle finger means "fuck you".)Well, the signers of the Declaration of Independence wanted the citizens of the United States to have a document that spelled out what was important to our leaders and citizens. They wanted us to be able to look at the Declaration of Independence and immediately think of the goals we should always be working for (except, ironically, for on the 4th of July when noone really works), and about the people who have fought so hard to make these ideas possible. The people who signed the Declaration risked being hanged for treason by the leaders in Great Britain. They had to be very brave (or possibly very drunk) to sign something that would be considered a crime! So every time we look at the Declaration of Independence, we should think about all of the effort and ideas that went into the document, and about the courage it took for these people to stand up for what they knew was right -- independence! (and treasure) (or not) (but mostly the whole "independence" thing)

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Apparently I don't give Nicolas Cage enough credit for his teaching the youth of America. And also, I think I may have developed some new and twisted love/hate things with Nicolas Cage. God, what have I become?

Happy 4th of July, everybody.

D


Nothing to do with Independence Day...

Everything to do with the Declaration of Independence...