Major Horseshit

The world is a slightly less shiny, happy place to live in now. Well, my weird little alcohol fueled-obsessive compulsive-over promising-under delivering-televised in Japan world that I live in anyways.

My hero, my mentor, Major Victory was eliminated from “Who Wants to be a Superhero?” last night.

07/27/06 - 08/24/06

No more self depricating name changes, no more spontaneous stripper dancing, no more over-acting in heroic situations, and no more of the best superhero catchphrase since “Boobies!”: “Be a winner, not a wiener.”

All that’s left is a fat chick and some goof who cries way too much and gives out more hugs than Special Olympics athletes. And that’s just not enough to get me to keep watching.

So I’ll not be watching the final show to see who wins their own Dark Horse comic book (the Major’s comic cover was awesome) and their own SciFi Channel original movie. A SciFi Channel original movie? Jesus, I think the guys at SciFi know they make shitty movies, but I bet they’d be really pissed about having to make a movie about that chicken wing and french fry-stealing Fat Momma.

No sir, not watching.

Plus, now I hate you a little bit, Stan Lee. I don’t care that you created Spiderman, the Fantastic Four, and even the X-Men. You made Major Victory turn in his costume. And you created Stripperella.

So now the show is dead to me now. D-e-d, dead.

Until next season.

D