A few skeletons in my DVD closet:

So I was trying to find a movie to watch the other day and noticed something about my recently downsized DVD collection: I still have some pretty bad movies in there.

I mean, some of these are legitimately BAD movies or were ones that were panned more than California during the Gold Rush when they first came out. Some were so bad that most people didn't even know (or desperately tried to forget) that they came out. While I don't have any Uwe Boll movies (*shudder*), I do have a few winners (that would be sarcasm):














Showgirls- I picked it up in Best Buy for like $8 as a joke and have had it ever since. Can't decide if I want to sell it or not. It's almost a point of disturbing pride, or an ace up my sleeve for certain situations. I can 1 up someone when they mention having a crappy movie by saying "Oh yeah? I have Showgirls." I said it was "disturbing" pride, damnit.
Every time I see it sitting there I get a flashback of Elizabeth Berkley singing "I'm so excited" and losing her shit on Saved By The Bell. That and boobs.




















Ready to Rumble- I remember vowing never to watch this movie when it came out because WCW actually awarded David Arquette the WCW title to help promote the movie. I think Ric Flair cried that night. 16 times.
And yet here I am with it in my collection. And I can quote almost the whole damned movie. It's really not ever going any where either.


















Bubble Boy- Again, swore to God I would never see it. Saw it on tv one day & couldn't stop laughing. Promptly went on a hunt for it, and I do mean "hunt". Back in the day this wasn't the easiest movie to track down because it was so bad (to others anyways). I've only met 1 other person who actually liked it. And it wasn't Jake Gyllenhaal.
I do like the user comment on the IMDB page: "Not as Dumb as it Looks". That's actually what I tell people, and maybe it should have been the actual tagline for the movie. Couldn't have been any worse than "Life Is An Adventure. Don't Blow It."

And the winner and undefeated champion of suckiness.....


















Planet of the Apes (Mark Wahlberg version)- Jesus. All I can tell you is that it was cheap as hell when it first came out and I hadn't seen it so I figured "What the hell?". And even that isn't enough to let me off the hook. I watched it twice, which was 1 too many times. It has one of the most retarded and confounding endings ever, and even the special feature's little time displacement map thingy didn't help one fucking bit.
I tried to sell it to Blockbuster but they wouldn't take it because it was missing some outer sleeve that I didn't have anymore. Thinking of using it as a shiny, coaster now.

So there's a peek into the depravity that sits in my living room. I bet that if I was burglarized, those would be a few of the items left in the apartment that they didn't want, along with a note that said "Dude, what the fuck?". I need to seriously reconsider what I buy on DVD now.

What's the worst that you've got?

D