The Buffalo Theory

There's been (very) slight discussion about how guys can remember quotes from movies and TV with relative ease. And about how the older you get, the less of those you actually do remember, possibly through the consumption of greater amounts of alcohol over the years.

I offered up that the majority of the brain cells that I still have and that were strong enough to survive all the alcohol, were the ones that store movie and TV quotes.

But I think that Cliff Clavin from Cheers, the veritable fountain of wisdom that he is, said it best with his "Buffalo Theory":

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

That ends today's lecture on Beer and Bio-Mechanics. Class dismissed.

D

Just for Alison, we can tie this post back to Star Wars. John Ratzenberger was also in The Empire Strikes Back.